I went to the pier yesterday to take pix of the sunset and I ran into Tatiana. I haven't seen her since around Halloween. I think she is absolutley gorgeous. If there is one girl that could make me forget about every other girl out there, it's her. I asked her to be my model so I can practice my photography and she said she's down. I took some pix of her before at the Halloween party I saw her at and she adores the camera. She'll be a good model. =)
This weekend, I'll be partying up in Pomona. It's Sportsfest and I'm gonna be taking pix of my friends playing football. I went last year and it was pretty damn fun. I drove there last year and my truck got rear-ended. So this year I will not be driving. Ha. I'm hoping it's not all raining so my camera doesn't get messed up. I had a crap camera last year so I didn't care if it got all jacked up. So far, the weather looks good and I hope it stays this way. I'll bring an umbrella just in case. And I'll also use the umbrella as shade from the sun. Ha.
I woke up later than usual and could not remember anything I dreamt of. The trick for remembering my dreams is to think of it right when I wake up. I play back the scenario(s) in my head. This morning I woke up thinking "Man, I might be late". Thus I rushed to get ready and forgot all about my dream. As the day goes on, I forget my dream altogether. I really should write it down right when I wake up so I can recount everything acurrately but let's just say that I'm just too damn lazy to do that.
Anyways, we started the 4/10 work week so the food competition will be on Thursday (today) instead of Friday. We will be attempting to see who can finish a jumbo Slim Jim the fastest. These team building/bonding activities really work. It makes me see the human side of my coworkers instead of seeing them as just robots doing their duties. I've only won 1 competition so far. Today, I'm looking for my 2nd....
It was the eve of my brother's birthday. I was at home wondering where he was. He was home a short while ago and then left with some friends. A long while had passed and he was still not home. I was in my room and I'd begin to hear noises. I'd go outside and find nothing. I could hear voices, people talking, having a good time. Yet it was never there when I was around.
*end of dream*
********************************************************** I find it hard to sleep. I constantly wake up throughout the night. Sometimes I open my eyes to see the time. Sometimes I just keep them closed hoping to fall back asleep. And I wake up every morning feeling dehydrated. I don't feel refreshed. It's like the lights are on but no one is home.....
I was in a music studio and there was this band recording. The drummer was doing his tracks but he was having alot of trouble. I merely watched as he did take after take to no avail. I could see the frustration in his eyes and also in the eyes of his bandmates. He was so angry at himself that he left the studio to go cool off somewhere. I hadn't touched a drumset in years and I saw his drumset just laying there in the booth all alone. I had the urge to go sit on the set and start playing. I started to walk closer to the drumset and gave it a good look. I slowly circled it looking at every inch.
I eventually sat down on it but didn't play. I was just thinking about the times when I did play and imagining that I was still playing. I picked up the sticks and clicked them together. I started giving a little tap to each drum, hearing the warm sounds that resonated with each hit. One by one, I hit all the drums. I was just sitting there on the set, not in a playing position.
I started to play a simple beat and it felt good. I kept playing and started incorporating some of the things I used to do. The groove started to get a life of it's own. I felt the passion coming back.
I was playing all hard on the drums. I was putting my soul into my playing because it felt so good to be on a drumset. After I was done playing, I noticed that the band that was recording was still in the studio except for the drummer. They heard me playing and they were impressed. The whole time I was playing, it was being recorded. They said it was a keeper. They started walking into the drum booth to talk to me. I was hoping they were gonna ask me to be the new drummer of their band. And as they were walking in, I WOKE UP.
*end of dream*
************************************************** This was a cool dream cuz I was actually in a music studio on Sunday watching my old band record songs for a new album. Their new drummer really was having trouble recording the tracks. He didn't leave the studio like in my dream. He just waited for the bass player to come along and play the song with him as he was recording.
She sent me another little message. It got to me again. Damn her to heck. And damn me for being such a fool. So I spent an hour learning this one song on the guitar last night. I'll record a video of me playing it and kudos goes to the first person who can name it. It's a good song. I think you all will like it....
I remember being in a car driving somewhere. I wasn't the one driving. I wasn't in control. There were 3 of us. One guy, one girl, and me. I saw one of those freeway signs that show the number of miles to an exit. We ended up getting to our destination but I was now alone. I have no idea where I was or what I was doing there.
That's all I can remember. There wasn't much content in this dream but I woke up feeling tired and I almost fell when I tried to stand up. My equilibrium felt off and right now my back hurts.
From now until I feel like changing it, this is what I will write about. My dreams, or what I can remember of them. Some are more vivid than others, some are very lacking in content. Some are strange and I don't know what they mean. Actually, I don't know what alot of them mean. Maybe you can help me decipher them.....
There is no greater feeling than sitting on a warm toilet seat. It gives you that feeling that someone cares about you enough to warm it up for you. Ha. Yeah Right. For the 2nd time, I had someone look under the stall door while I was in it. It's a weird feeling seeing someone's face when you're going number poo. I almost feel scared but at the same time I wanna laugh cuz he's an idiot. I mean, when the door is closed that usually means someone is in there. How hard is that to comprehend? Do you really think someone would close the door and then hop over to get out? Who does that? Come on now. Common sense. Put it to use. I know it's hard but if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.
I've been having these weird dreams. It's like real life encounters but in a "what if" situation. A few years back, someone got into my truck and the bastards stole my seat covers. So a few days ago I had a dream that someone stole my seat covers again. I was pretty pissed cuz these new seat cover I bought cost $300. When I woke up, I had the urge to go to my truck and check to see if the covers were still there. It felt so real, maybe because it happened before. The feeling of someone stealing something from you is so disheartening. It sucks all the life out of you. It makes you feel so vulnerable. I hate that feeling.
I also had this other dream where I was gettin' it on. Hahahaha. That too felt so real. And when I woke up, I had a surprise. Guess what it was? Hahahahaha.
My "what if" dreams are things that happen to me throughout my day but I acted the proper way in real life. My dreams give me a glimpse of an alternate world where everything goes my way. Like if I run into an old classmate that I never really liked, I would be polite and have a nice little conversation of what we've been up to. In my dreams, I would run into this classmate and she/he would start talking and I'd interupt and go off about how much of an idiot they are and then I'd leave. In my dreams I feel satisfied. My dreams rule.
I just remembered that last Friday I saw one of the funniest things I've ever seen. At work, I went to the bathroom and the urinal is after the stall. So as I pass the stall, something catches my eye so I take a few steps back to see what caught my eye. And here I am looking at the stall laughing hysterically. What I saw before me was nothing I have ever really seen before. I've seen people using the bathroom and not flushing. I've seen people leaving smears of doo doo butter on the seat. But never before have I seen a log on the ground. I wasn't even mad, I was impressed. Normally, any person would disgusted and grossed out by this. Anger might even ensue. But not with me. I even took a pic of this with my camera phone. too bad I haven't uploaded it yet. I couldn't stop laughing. Even when I think of it right now, I'm still cracking up. Oh man, the things that bring delight to my life.....
The only reason I still come to work: Friday Food Challenges. Today we had the marshmallow challenge. Who can eat the most marshmallows in a minute? We each had 15 to start things off.
I got Shanel to start a blog. The evil powers of persuasion. Muahahahaha! More for me to read. I wish more of my friends would update on a regular basis....but they all blog on myspace and I'm not really using myspace that much anymore. Imma just use it for my photography and my music. No more personal use. I have facebook too but I never go on. I still have my xanga that I never update. That one was for my poetry. I have a fotopage that I should delete. I signed up yesterday for this new photo site called FilmLoop. It's pretty sweet. I'll be using that to post pix on my website that I still haven't fixed up. Ha. I'm just lazy.
After work here is my routine. Come home, grab a quick snack, pick up my Mom from work, go to the gym, go home, shower, go online while I wait for my hair to dry, watch some girl on girl action, clean up, brush teeth, and sleep. The only time I'm home is to sleep. I'm glad I don't pay rent or anything or else I would never want to leave the house. It would be like paying for something that I'm not using. If I have a house and I'm making payments I would always have my friends over and I'd have the house decked out with everything we could possibly want to do so that way I feel like I'm spending my money well.
The only time I don't feel guilty spending money is when I buy food. You can't go wrong when you get good food.
I'm over it but I'm still not wearing my necklace.
Oh, and I now have a copy of V5. Time to install and pass it along to good friends. =)
There once was a little girl who had a bad temper. Her mother gave her a bag of nails and told her that every time she lost her temper, she must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the girl had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as she learned to control her anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. She discovered it was easier to hold her temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the girl didn't lose her temper at all. She told her mother about it and the mother suggested that the girl now remove one nail for each day that she was able to hold her temper. The days passed and the young girl was finally able to tell her mother that all the nails were gone. The mother took her daughter by the hand and led her to the fence. She said, "You have done well, my daughter, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one." You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear,they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us...
And...Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence.
Have you ever seen the movie Pi? It's one of my all time favorites. It's a movie about how the entire universe is shaped by numbers and patterns and some madman creates a supercomputer that might be capable of understanding all this. People from the stock market are hunting him down because the pattern created by these numbers can predict the rise and fall of the stock market. And a Jew hunts him down because this pattern is hidden in the Kabbalah and is a code sent by God. This pattern is apparently the Golden Rectangle or Golden Spiral or Golden Ratio. It's a good movie that makes you think.
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Yesterday my ex-girlfriend hit me up and mentioned that her Mom recently found something I gave her a long time ago. A weird feeling ran through me even though it was just a little message she sent me. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm not over it. Maybe there's a part of me hoping she'll one day come back to me and apologize. She is a big reason I am the way I am with girls. I don't trust them! But everytime I see her I forget everything she did and I have this huge smile on my face. I haven't seen her since sophomore year of college but I have talked to her every so often. She always turned to me everytime something went wrong. It's not like I had the best advice to give to her but we had a comfort zone and I could always bring her back to there. I don't know what's going on inside me right now...
For 9 years I wore something that meant alot of to me. I never took it off. I only started to take it off when I showered because it started to fade. It symbolized my passion, my love, my dedication to "something". And I said to myself that I would always wear this until I found something that meant more. I stopped wearing this a few months ago. Not because I found a greater passion but because I thought no greater passion existed. But yesterday, I felt like wearing it again. I wish someone had taken it while I was showering and tossed it down the drain. That greater passion is a mirage.
So a few moments ago, I'm having this nice conversation with the semi-new girl at work. She's OK. Ha. Well, we're talking and shootin' the shiite when this guy comes up behind her and starts flailing his arms to get my attention but I don't even acknowledge it. So he pulls up next to the girl and interrupts us in mid-converstion. He didn't even wait 'til I finished my sentenced. And I kindly say to him "Excuse me, but I'm trying to have a conversation with the lady." And he starts chuckling. So I say to him that he just C-Blocked me. And me and the lady are laughing and comes back with "Whatever happened to bros before.....ladies?" I told him I didn't believe in that myth and he walked away. And I tried to continue the conversation with the lady but I couldn't remember what we were talking about and she couldn't either so she took off. DAMN C-BLOCKERS!!!!!!!
So I saw 300 last night and it was so wicked. I wasn't expecting a Monday night to be so packed. But every dude in that movie was on 'roids or something. Them dudes were ripped as hell. They reminded me of myself. Ha, yeah right. But the movie was super gory and bloody. I squinted everytime I saw a leg or an arm or whatever get cut off. I thought there were some really funny parts but I won't mention it cuz I know all of you haven't seen it yet.
I think I ate something bad over the weekend cuz the past couple days I've had this throw up feeling in my stomach. I feel like yacking all the time....but I never do. It's almost like that feeling where you need to sneeze but you don't ever actually sneeze.
Yesterday Bill made me do some knuckle push ups. He did about 30 or so and then told me to do some. I tried and only pulled off 10. And then my knuckles started hurting like crazy. I weigh about 250lbs. and that is no easy task to do 10 knuckle push ups. I can probably do 40 regular push ups. But today my chest and triceps are sore. From only 10 knuckle push ups. That means I am way out of shape. There was a point in my life where I could do 100 push ups straight. But then again I didn't weigh as much as I do now. I'll work my way back up.
I've been meaning to cut my nails but everytime I'm at home I'm doing something else and I forget. I'm at work and I could feel my nails when I type. It doesn't get in the way cuz I've seen girls with some long nails type all super fast. But it does get in the way when I play guitar. Pushing down on the strings I can feel my nail hitting the fret board and it prevents me from pushing the string all the way down. Hopefully today I remember to cut them at home or at least bring my nailcutter to work. I'll just write it on my hand so everytime I look at my watch, I'll see to bring the nailcutter.
I bought some apples and carrots to bring to work but I left them at home for the 2nd straight day. My Mom is probably wondering why they're all out. Ha. I'm trying to eat healthier. Being around Shanel, she's probably the healthiest person I know and it makes me want to be healthier also. She has a positivie influence on me even though I say I hate her all the time. The people around me have alot of impact on my life and I'm glad to be surrounded by great people.
What a weekend! Oh man. Friday night I went out to the Beauty Bar with some coworkers. I had never been there before so it was a trip. I take that back. I have been there before but it was called the Playhouse when I did go there. It was with my band and we played a few shows there. But yeah, the setup in the Beauty Bar is like a beauty parlor. Hahahahahaha. I wonder how they got that name then. They got them seats with the hair dryer on top and beauty magazines on the tables. I think I got there too early and left too early. My coworkers said after I left, the goods started pouring in. And by the goods, I mean hot girls. =) Whatever, I had a long day and I was getting damn sleepy. I was in no capacity to hook up with anyone that night.
Saturday was my cousin Charlie's b-day celebration at some fancy pants restaurant in Coronado. Charlie called me earlier in the day and asked what I was gonna wear and I gave him a vague description. When we see each other at the restaurant, we're wearing almost the exact same outfit (just different shoes). Hahahahahaha. I know alot of people get mad when they show up at some place and another person is wearing their same outfit. Not us. We decided to take as many pictures as we could cuz we thought it was so funny. We were talking about our clothes and I told him I got mine at Sears and he said he did too! Hahahahaha. But after the fancy restaurant we went over to Charlie's Mom's house and had a re-enactment of Beerfest. We just tried to chug as many beers as we could. It was funny cuz on the first chug I got the hiccups during mid-chug but I kept on chugging anyways and they could hear it. I must say, it's real hard to have something going down your throat when air is coming up. Yeah, we got pretty drunk in a real short amount of time. And then we ended up watching the movie Selena. I love that movie. I was singing along to all the songs. My favorite is "Como la Flor". This is the movie that taught me Spanish. Hahahahaha.
Sunday was cleaning and recovery day. I think I need another day.....
I know there's more stuff that I'm forgetting. We'll see if my mind starts working in a couple hours.
This morning me, Scott, and Shanel were in the break room making some oatmeal for breakfast. I've been doing the oatmeal thing for quite some time now and Shanel claims to be the one to start it. I beg to differ. Hahahahaha. But anyways, Shanel took her spoon home and didn't have one except for the pho spoon I gave her. And the sink was broken too so she copuldn't wash her bowl. So I told her the bathroom is the place to go to wash it and she goes and comes back. I ask "Did you wash it?" cuz her bowl still looked a little dirty. She says "I did....but I'm not perfect." I just nod my head in silence and then Scott says "Well, we strive for excellence!!!" and I just started cracking up. I mean, we're talking about oatmeal here.
And for today's food competition, we will be eating a cup of peanut butter. Whoever can finish it the fastest will win. It sounds easy but we're not allowed to have any kind of beverage to help wash it down. This is just straight up peanut butter by itself. The cup sizes are like double shots. It's maybe 4 or 5 hefty tablespoons. I think I have a chance to win this. I normally eat peanut butter by itself but I don't eat it fast. So far Scott has won all the solid food competitions. I dominate on the liquid food competitions. This is somewhere in between solid and liquid so it might go down to the wire.....
