The DerfJam Chronicles

Don't expect a blog from me tomorrow cuz I just got out of a meeting and they want me to have 20 MLV's QA'd by tomorrow. It took me a whole week to do one. Now they dropped out a bunch of steps in order to meet a release deadline tomorrow. Only the bare necessities will be QA'd. It took me 2 hours to do, with all the steps, and now they dropped a bunch of steps and expect me to do it in 20 mins. We'll see if that's plausible. They gave me some people to help me out. I got Stephanie working with me. She's pretty damn slammin'! Half white and Half Filipino. I think half white and half anything is perfect. It's just a winning combination. It's like peanut butter and jelly. They're both good but when you combine them it's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, wish me luck.

It just went down and all the hype that we put into it was not worth it. Pssssst, come here. I have a secret for you: "HYPE KILLS". I think the fact that this challenge is kinda slow, it's hard to get pumped for it. The second you toss that first cracker in your mouth, the whole pace of your life comes to a snailing stop. The most anyone ate was 5 saltines. And there were 3 or 4 people who ate 5. I only ate 4. I thought I could do better. It just felt like I was chewing for days and nothing was getting swallowed. It was like gum that lost all it's flavor and somehow became salty.

Today we're having a potluck too. I brought in some chicken wings. I hope someone brought some rice.

And we were passing around this going-away/good luck card that everyone is signing for Niki and Mr. Hotshot in my cubicle here says something like "Oh, so when I leave is everyone gonna do this for me?" And I said something like "Instead of 'good luck' or 'we'll miss you', we're gonna write FINALLY! IT'S ABOUT TIME" And we all started laughing and he turned around to his computer and with his back to us he said "Go ahead, laugh it up." He got all butt hurt! I felt kinda bad but I was too busy cracking up. I got a black heart. No remorse, no regrets. Go for the killshot while you can. Now he has his headphones on and isn't listening to us. I'd really like to punch him in his ovaries!!!!

Why does punching someone/something feel so good? I can't explain what goes on inside me when my fist makes contact. I still remember the last time I punched someone. It was in downtown after hittin' up a club. There's a reason why I don't go to clubs. But yeah, some drunk fool was walking and someone in his posse bumped shoulders with my brother and they got all offended by it. So this drunk starts wailing punches on my bro and I'm a good 15 ft away from him and I see the attack happening so I run over and deck this fool right on the temple. It only took one shot and his head went down and he was staggering. This guy threw like 20 punches on my bro and he's lucky I only threw 1. But his posse stood in between us to stop me from doing further damage. I just pointed at him and said "Don't you EVER try that again!"

Last night was very productive. We recorded a new song called "Caves and Portals" and added more to a newer song called "Cowboy Cologne". That song isn't done yet but we've been stuck on it for a couple weeks. We added more parts to it and now we just gotta figure out the structure of the song.

My back has been acting up on me again. I need to start running again when I get home from work. Who wants to join me? It'll be more like fast pace walking than actual running but whatever. I'm slow, I'm sure you could tell just by looking at me. ;) I do accept foot race challenges.

I didn't eat until 5pm yesterday. Those 8 tacos filled me up and stayed inside me for a while. I didn't even feel thirsty or anything. I know people who eat one meal a day and i thought they were crazy. I thought it was impossible. Now I know if you a big enough meal, you can last a whole day without feeling hungry.

Today we're having a long overdue food challenge in honor of Niki's last day here. It's gonna be The Saltine Challenge. Who can eat the most saltines in 1 minute? My personal record is 5. The current record to beat/match is 7 but the guy who did that doesn't work here anymore so I dunno if that record is still valid. Scott won the first time we did it with 6 saltines. Imma shoot for 6 today.

Plans for tonight:
*RUN
*Change guitar strings
*Clean guitar
*Work on new songs


Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

Taco Tuesday was fun last night. It was me, April Joy, Ramon, and Mari that went to On The Border. I was leaving work and Ramon was leaving too so I told him I was going to OTB and I told him to roll too and it's history from there. I always have a good time when I have good company. It doesn't matter what we do, a good time will always happen.

We had some margaritas and a few tacos. Well, everyone else had a few tacos. I just happened to eat 8. Hahahahahahaha. It was good. I think my favorite one was the crunchy chicken taco. Let's see, there was ground beef, shredded beef, carnitas, and chicken. And I had one of each, the crunchy version and the soft version. I was struggling on the last one but I managed to scarf it down. Thanks for dinner Apes! I got you on the next one.

I can still feel the tacos as I'm typing this. My mind is telling me that I'm hungry since I would normally be eating at this time but my stomach is telling me that I'm full. It's a conflict of interest and my mind is winning. But I'm eating fruit so it's all good.

The company picnic is this Saturday and I still don't have a date. I invited April Joy but she didn't really give me a straight answer. She just said that it was far. The picnic is in Lakeside, which is a damn drive. But she has a party to go to in the evening anyways so I'll just take that as a no. It's ok, I'm used to hearing no.....as in "No, Don't Stop! Harder!" j/k. Tomorrow is the last day to sign up so if I don't have a date by then, I guess I just won't go. I didn't really ask anybody else cuz nobody has really met my co-workers except April Joy. I was gonna ask Aileen but we were planning on going out to dinner that night and I don't wanna spend an entire day with her. So the offer is still in the air if you decide you'd like to go Apes. Just let me know by tomorrow. And don't worry, I'll drive. =)

I'm going to Fonso's tonight and I wanna record all the songs that we've written. I also want to re-record the ones that we've already recorded. Those versions were recorded right when we wrote them and they've changed a little bit so I wanna have up-to-date copies.

Hopefully my pinky can hang in there. My ripped hangnail is still bothering me. If it hurts when I type, it's bound to hurt when I play guitar. I'll test it out on 1st break.





A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.

I think the janitor read my blog cuz I just went to the bathroom and the U seat is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hellz yeah. I can now handle my business with my dignity still in tact. I'm stoked.

So they changed the toilet seats at work (or at least the bathroom that I go to) and I'm not liking it very much. There's this little lip in the back that cups your cheeks and it's annoying. Plus the front end is all small. I hate the fact that my sack rests on the front end. The normal seat they used to have was this U-shaped seat and my sack could hang freely. It bothers me that if my sack is touching the seat, then other dudes' sacks are also touching the seat. It's not a good thought. Bring back the U seat!!!!!!!!!

Another thing that bothers me is that there aren't enough bathrooms in this facility. 75 people share 2 stalls and 1 urinal. It's mayhem after lunch. That's just for the men. There might be 3 or 4 stalls for the women but theres only like 10 females on our floor so it's not bad.


I played guitar at lunch today instead of eating since I'm saving my appetite for Taco Tuesday. I need the practice anyways.

I was struggling last night at practice. My fingers were hurting and I couldn't remember the songs we wrote. I was forgetting the rhythm that I was playing and I was also forgetting the structures of the song. But we did record one of the songs that we already finished writing. It's a song called "Debutante". I'm a dumb butt and I left the recording at my friend's house. There was another song that was recorded and I needed to listen to it to come up with a part but I left that at my friend's house too. Oh well, I'll be back there tomorrow.

So my favorite band, dredg, is coming to town on Sept. 28. My buddy Thompson (Mr. Solar Turbines) is gonna cruise over and check them out too. Tickets are $15 if anyone wants to go. The show is at SOMA so it's a nice, little, intimate venue. The last time I checked dredg out, I got to meet them and take pix with them and I got them to sign my CD and poster. And yes, they spell their name with a lowercase d.

I came in earlier today so I could leave earlier. I could probably leave around 3ish but I'll do a little OT and leave at 4. Hourly over salary sometimes has it's advantages. =)




A nation's treasure is in its scholars.

Friday night I did nothing but listen to music for like 5 hours. It was good. I need more inspiration. The more I write music, the more I need to listen to other music. I need to hear different things to keep my mind fresh.

Saturday was chill. I woke up hella late and I ran a bunch of errands. And I couldn't wait for the night. At around 8pm we headed down south to take the virgins for a good time. When we got there, I was offering to pay for them and all they had to do was pick which one they wanted. But none of them took the bait. Needless to say, they're still virgins. I tried to help out but there's nothing I can do for them. If you can't do a whore, you can't do a regular girl. They're just gonna have to do it on their own. We ended up leaving the whore house since they weren't gonna do it and we went to a regular strip club and they had the time of their lives there. I personally don't like strip clubs cuz I don't like getting worked up and not being finished off. If you're gonna get the soldier to stand at full attention don't leave him standing in full attention the whole night. Finish the salute so he can be at ease. But yeah, we left the strip club early since we were tailgating at the Chargers game the next morning.

Sunday morning took too long to get here. But Chargers season is here and that's all that matters. We got jacked from our usual tailgate spot though. People came early. The parking lot got packed quick too. We got to the stadium 10 mins later than when we usually get there and we find some other dude in our spot. Oh well. We just posted up next to him. But we had so much leftover food. I hate having leftovers. But I guess that's better than not having enough food.

The Chargers offense was looking stagnant the entire first half. A lot of dropped balls ,good defense by the Bears, and bad officiating. I'm glad Gates stepped up cuz he's on my fantasy team. The Bears held LT but we got the win so it doesn't matter. We had to beat 2 teams to get this win: the Bears and the Refs.

Looking forward to Taco Tuesday! =)





A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

Last night at the Strauss was pretty damn fun. It was Scotty, Mya, Roman, Shanel, Niki, Ramon, Karmen, Ryan, me, and April. Big ups to April for comin' out even though you didn't really know anyone there. I hope you had a good time cuz I sure did. That emptiness in my heart, that void in soul was filled yesterday when I got to see for the first time in a long time. I hope I don't have to wait that long to see you again. =)

After Strauss we hit up Scotty's place and we played ping pong while the others played Beirut (aka beer pong). Me and Scotty played one game and I realized I need to start practicing again. I also played Karmen and she's pretty good. She said she used to play all the time 10 years ago.

I didn't even drink that much last night but I was feeling weird when I got home. I took a shower and then watched highlights of the Colts-Saints game while I waited for my hair to dry. But I tried to sleep around 12 but I was feeling cold. So I put some clothes on and turned off the fan. I fell asleep for a little while but I woke up at 2am feeling all hot. I took my clothes off and turned tha fan back on but I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't fall alseep til 4am and I had to get up at 6am. What did I do during those 2 hours awake? I tried to fix my phone cuz my text message isn't working. I can receive messages but I can't reply to them. It was asking me to Define a Message Center Number. I didn't know what that meant so I did some research on it. I found something online and I put that message center number but I still haven't tried a text yet. I will later though.

....and I already took 3 dumps. I feel a 4th one coming but imma cork it and wait til lunch. What's for lunch today? I have 2 apples and an orange. I already ate one apple for breakfast. It was ok. It tasted a little old. I got them last weekend and I guess fruits only last a few weeks at the most. I'm trying to eat healthy sometimes. I feel like my back is taking the brunt of my weight and that's the reason for my back pains. If I'm carrying less weight, my back will be working less and therefore able to to maintain for longer periods of time.

Don't forget to set your lineups today since tonight is the first game of the season. I've been waiting for this since February. Not the fantasy football, but the real season. This is my favorite time of the year. It's kinda like Christmas but better. Being with my friends every week, grillin' it up in the parking lot, eatin' great food, watching the Chargers tear it up. There's not much more you can ask for.


Strauss tonight. Happy hour starts at 6pm but since tonight is Opening Kickoff, it's gonna be packed like fudge. We'll be getting there at 5:30pm(maybe earlier). I got to work this morning and was informed that 2 more people will be joining us. If we're seated at a regular table it's all booked but since we're gonna try to get there early we're gonna ask for a huge table so we can seat more guests. I'd like to get this huge table so April Joy can join us. I haven't seen her in a good while. I think since graduation and that was pretty much 2 years ago.



A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

It's almost 3:30 and I've been pretty swamped all day. I'm ready to go home right now. My brain is fried and I feel like taking a nap. It also doesn't help that my side of the room has no AC. Boooo.

It's so hard for me to sleep at night. Open window, no blanket, no shirt, no shorts, fan on. I don't have AC at home....or at work. I do feel like I've lost 5 lbs. from sweating all day. But it's all water weight so imma gain it back quick.


I wanna be a house-husband and just raise the kids all day and clean the house and run errands. and cook and all that good stuff that housewives get to do. Who's up for my offer? I'm ready to start ASAP.

Hit up the Strauss in Sorrento for free beer tomorrow night. April Joy? I know you're not too far from Sorrento. 5:30pm. Be there. Aileen, I know you want my body but the only way you'll get me is if I'm drunk. This is your chance....



A book tightly shut is but a block of paper.

This past weekend, we stayed about an hour south of San Fran at my cousin's house. It was like a mini family reunion. We left Friday night around midnight and got there at 7am. I drove the whole way. I wanted to switch off with my bro at around 4am but he was knocked out cold. I tried to tap him to wake him up but no response. So I kept driving and bumpin' the jams helped keep me awake.

There was about 25 people sleeping in a 3 bedroom house. It was madness. And it was also an oven up there. The outside temperature was 105 during the daytime. It was really messing me up. The house was a cool 75 degrees or so and I kept having to go outside to get thing or put things away and the drastic temperature change really got to me.

It was good to see my family. My little cousins don't even remember me. And my grandma was really happy that my estranged uncle actually showed up. His wife took over the show and kind of pulled him away from the family. It's good to see that he grew some balls and showed up for a change.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I'm tired as usual. That means I'm back to my regular schedule.





A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.

Why do I even have a blog? I hate writing about my life. So why keep a journal of what I do or recount the events? I dunno, maybe I'm doing this cuz I don't get to see alot of my friends that much anymore and it keeps them up to speed with what's kinda goin' on in my life? Maybe it's cuz I need someone to talk to but no one is ever there in real life? It is kinda nice to get some stuff off my chest and lay it all out. But I never lay it completely out. Why? I think I'm afraid. Afraid of letting someone in too close.

Whatever.

I was at the Charger game last night and even though it was the 3rd and 4th string playing I still had fun. I just like being in the environment, the atmosphere. It feels good to hang out with my friends and be around people with a common interest. It also feels good to tailgate and drink it up before AND after the games. Yesterday we got there around 5pm and there was still alot of parking. Our usual tailgating crew didn't go so we didn't have the grill or the usual good eats. But I had beef jerky, pringles, and crunch & munch. And we ran into another fellow tailgater and they had some beer so we drank a couple of those. It's my escape from reality. Thank you Chargers for being there for me.

I'm driving up to the Bay tonight and I'm dead tired. I better take a power nap right when I get home so I have some energy to drive through the night. I hate almost falling asleep at the wheel. Wish me luck and a safe trip.




Deep doubts, deep wisdom; small doubts, little wisdom.

So I saw Balls of Fury last night and it was hella funny. They throw so many curve balls in there that it kept me guessing on what was gonna happen next. And the curve balls were outrageously ridiculous. I wish there was more ping pong action but it's all good. I liked the movie but I doubt other people will like it as much not unless they enjoy kung-fu spoofs, ping pong, or just plain-stupid-where-you-have-to-be-a-little-retarded movies.


I woke up hella late this morning. I wanted to come into work early so I could leave early and go to the Chargers game but I woke up at 7am. I'm still leaving early regardless. I should have just asked for the day off. Oh well.


The Cliche' Series. Be on the lookout for it.



If you don't want anyone to know, don't do it.

So apparently last night was the last game of the bowling season. I totally thought there was one more week. The goal I set at the beginning of the season was to break 200 at least once. That's all I wanted to do. I didn't care what place we got. If I didn't break 200, the whole season would have been a failure.

So here's how last night's action went:

For the 1st game, I was trying to find the pocket. The lanes were freshly oiled so they were all super slick. My ball had no hook and would basically go straight into the 10 pin. I tried standing more to the left and aim for the head pin (the closest pin) but I was leaving the 3-6-10 up all the time. I ended game 1 with a score of 93. Pathetic! I didn't even break 100.

Game 2, the oil was drying up so my ball was starting to hook (hook means it curves for you non-bowlers out there) so once again I had to find a new spot where to stand and change my throw. I was kinda throwing it straight in the 1st game but now the straight ball wasn't doing me any good. It wasn't doing me any good in the first place. But now my ball was starting to go the way I wanted it. Now I just needed to find where to stand. I usually stand slightly to the left of center, maybe the 3rd board from the left. The oil dictates where I stand. The dryer the lanes, the further left I stand. But I did better this game than I did in the 1st. I ended the game with a score of 115. Still pretty horrible but better than before. It doesn't matter how many times you fall, what matters is how many times you get up.

So the 3rd game of the night and the final game of the entire season was up. I was doing pretty horrible for the first two games and I kinda lost hope for my goal of breaking 200. This was the last chance, the last ditch effort to redeem myself. I had a good feel for the lanes now but the first two games kinda destroyed my confidence. Happiness through lowered expectations. I felt like I wasn't gonna break 200 this season but I still had to try.

1st frame: I bowled a 7 and picked up the spare.
2nd frame: Strike
3rd frame: Strike
4th frame: Strike
5th frame: Strike
6th frame: Strike
7th frame: Strike
8th frame: I knocked down 9 and picked up the spare

At this point my score is 199. I didn't even realize it cuz I didn't think I'd be able to break 200. Now I was all excited. All I needed was one more pin. I've choked under pressure before and guttered. This was not gonna happen this time. My goal was set and now my goal is back in sight. "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

9th frame: strike
10th frame: I knocked down 7 and picked up the spare. I got an extra roll and knocked down 9

FINAL SCORE: 248. And with my handicap (since I suck) my total score was a 318.

That's my highest score EVER. I was so happy, you have no idea. It feels so good to achieve a goal that you set so high that you don't think you'll be able to get anytime soon. It also show that the harder you look, the harder it is to find. I was trying so hard to get to 200 that it was getting further away. Once I came to to terms that I wasn't going to get it, it hit me smack dab right in the face.

On top of me breaking 200, my team was crowned the League Champions last night and I got the league's Most Improved Bowler award.

Last night was a good night.


Tonight I plan on going to see the movie Balls of Fury. It's a ping pong movie and all you guys know that I'm crazy about ping pong. I'll let you guys know how it is...

143. Happiness ensues.

I feel like I'm torn inside......literally. My arsehole feels a mile wide. I took 3 dumps at work yesterday. The 1st one was ok. The 2nd one I started to feel a little uncomfortable. And by the 3rd one, it felt like I was shittin' an actual brick. When I went back to my desk to sit down, it hurt when my bum made contact with my seat. I had to clinch my cheeks tight and then sit down.

I just took a dump before I started writing this and it still kinda hurt. Not as bad, but the pain is still there. I hate this feeling.



Yesterday we wrote a couple more songs. I like it when we make progress. It's funny though, we write songs so fast that when we go back to play the ones already written, we forget what the hell we played. It's a good thing we record our songs so that way we can go back and remember our parts. We record it on video so we can see what our fingers were doing cuz sometimes we hear but we can't replicate, but when we see it we can remember faster. I love music. I wish music jobs paid better. Otherwise I would be a studio musician.

I want to do a real recording session of our songs sometime soon. Maybe put them on a CD and start handing it out or selling for real cheap. I also want to play gigs.

143


If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

My younger cousin turned of age last week so I decided to take him to a club. They let us in but later kicked us out on suspicion of fake IDs. It was weird, 5 bouncers came by and checked our IDs at least twice. And they still weren't convinced that our IDs were real. Man, that's never happened to me.

We weren't exactly dressed all super nice so that could have given them the idea that these kids aint got no money to buy clothes which means they aint got no jobs which in turn means that they're not old enough. Whatever though. I'm over it. I like dressing comfortable.



Can't wait for the weekend. Goin' up to the Bay to visit some family. Relatives from Chi-town comin' to the west side too. I'm thinking I should bring my guitar cuz one of my cousins up there is an awesome musician and we always jam out for the longest times. It's hard to find good quality musicians and I've played with alot of people. I can honestly say that my cousin is in the top 3 of all musicians I've ever played with.




If heaven made him, earth can find some use for him.

So during break I was playing the guitar at my desk. No one was around and I wasn't playing that loud. Mr. Hot Shot comes back to our cubicle and sits in his seat and immediately turns around and politely asks me to keep it down. I obliged without hesitation but was a little weirded out by his request. So now I was playing way softer than I was before, which was already soft, and I look at what this fool is doing. I see this guy doing WORK during our BREAK. WTF? He asked me to keep it down so he could do work during our break. Next time imma just play hella loud and pretend that I can't hear him.

One time during our break he went on myspace so I checked out his page. The guy talks about being "seriously lonely". His pix are all super emo like he wants someone to feel sorry for him. He does seem very anti-social and only talks to us when he needs help. Me and the other 2 guys in our cubicle are always joking around and laughing it up and having a good time. And once in a while this guy will turn around and give us this look like we need to grow up or something. We'll joke around when one of messes up and say that you're gonna get fired or cut from the team. When we say that to him, it looks like he's gonna cry. I hate it when people get their feelings hurt when we're joking around. Then I start feeling bad and it eats me up inside.

I seriously wish we could trade this guy for someone else. I don't care who. I'll take the old lady. At least she jokes around with us too. She actually has a sense of humor....and she drinks piss all day. Not really, but she has this big ol' jug of apple juice everyday and it just sits on top of her desk and it looks like piss. Hahahahahaha.