Staci finally sent some pix from 80's night at Channel One from a few months back. My shirts says: Metro League: Rock Paper Scissors Metro Champion 1982 1983 1984 1985. And everyone sang 80's songs on karaoke. I wanna throw another 80's party but with my friends this time. It was pretty fun with a bunch of people I didn't know that well. Imagine the madness if it was with my closest friends. That would be obese! Morbidly obese!
Thank you for all the little details you take care of. You didn't have to but you did anyways. And for that I love you. I know if you were in a closer vicinity to me you would be here consoling me but you're not and you still do what you can. Don't think that the things you do for me go by unappreciated. It really makes me feel special. I know I need to do more on my end and I apologize for that. Imma do you right. You have my word.
1: Does your dong say Micro Machines on it? 2: No! 1: Then it's not the real thing. 2: ?
Throwback to 4th grade. Hahahaha. At the end of every Micro Machines commercial, the guy who could talk really super fast would say "If it doesn't say Micro Machines, then it's not the real thing!"
Sometimes I wish I kept all my old toys. But I know one(or a few) of my younger cousins in the Philippines is probably enjoying it right now.
************************************************************ Last night. No offense Christine. I had more fun with you but Kim just looks more slammin'.
Near death experience. Yesterday when I was driving home from work I was really tired. And there was an accident on the 805 south so we were going single digit speeds. That didn't help at all. So I'm driving along and the traffic starts to speed up a little. I'm probably going 15 mph and my eyes start to feel heavy. 2 seconds later I feel my head drop and I wake and I notice the car in front of me has it's brake lights on. It was probably 10 ft in front of me and my eyes got HUGE and my heart stopped beating for a second and I slammed on the brakes. I probably stopped about 4 inches away from hitting that car. The whole ride home I was wide awake because of that.
I guess it's not really a near death experience cuz we were traveling at pretty slow speeds (less than 20 mph). But that whole cliche' of "I saw my life flash before my eyes" is kinda true. In the moment that I realized that I needed to brake, it felt like time had slowed down. My eyes got huge and my peripheral vision got better than normal. It's like when you focus on something and the objects in the background are blurry, my peripheral vision had everything in focus for a few seconds. I didn't breathe and my heart felt like it stopped. But as soon as my car stopped, my heart felt like I ran a mile. And my vision was back to crappy. Ha.
This is my nephew Taylor. I was playing the ukelele and he would not leave me alone. And he kept on trying to grab the uke from me so I just sat him down and let him give it a go. And then I started playing drums on my leg and he copied me. It was so funny. He had one hand just slapping his leg.
This kid can munch too. Half the time, he had some kind of food in his hand. So did I. We get along great.
When I was up in San Jose I tried frog legs and snail. Hahahahaha. The frog legs were pretty good. That whole "taste like chicken" deal is true. The meat is a little bit more chewy than chicken but it was good. The snails on the other hand were pretty damn gross. It tasted kinda like mussels or clam or something. I'm not a big fan of shellfish so I wasn't feelin' it. My cousin was all pouring salt on it to see if it would shrivel up and sizzle or something. Ha.
I miss my family. I wish we all lived in close proximity to each other.
I don't think I've ever cried as much as I did the past few days. I tried to stay strong and I was when I was here. But when I went up to San Jose and I actually saw my Lola laying in the casket, I just couldn't stay composed. I had to break down and let it all out. The more I tried to hold my tears, the harder it became to deal with the situation.
Hearing all the stories everyone told of my Lola was very emotional. I could hear the love coming out of every word they spoke. It was joyful and sad at the same time. Hearing the stories brought back so many good memories. We also had a photo montage and a slideshow with a bunch of pix of us with Lola.
I remember when we were poor and we couldn't afford nice clothes, my Lola would buy fabric and make custom clothes for me. It was funny too cuz she would make me like a shirt or some shorts or something and then I would go to my cousins house and walk into their room and notice that my shirt and/or shorts would match their pillow covers. Hahahahaha.
This was the first significant death in my lifetime. I've had other family members pass away but I never really had any strong connection with them. My great-grandma passed away when I was in high school but it didn't really hit me too hard. This one was really tough though cuz I was a Pallbearer, one of the guys who carries the casket into the actual grave. I didn't want to let the casket down. I kissed my gloves before I placed them on the casket with her. I kissed my rose before i set it down in the grave with her. And I kissed my balloon before I let it fly to heavens with her.
The thing that made the whole situation easier was having my niece and nephews around. My Lola died on my nephews birthday. This was her first great-grandson. She was so happy that she got to live to be able to have great-grand children. So now every year, we'll celebrate the life of my Lola as we celebrate the birth of my nephew. Seeing the innocence in a child is what makes life worthwhile.
I can only wish to live half that old. I’d be lucky if I even reached 45 with the way I take care of myself. I want to say it’s a wake up call but it’s not. It’s up to me to do something about my health. No external occurrences can influence my mindset, at least not in the longrun. Something can happen and I’ll change for a few weeks or a month or so but as soon as normalcy returns, my old habits come back to form.
I’m not too sure how to have a conversation with people right now. I’m not exactly in the most cheerful mood and I don’t really want everyone to know what’s going on. They ask me "How’s it goin?" and all I respond with is "Yo!". I don’t really like to lie to people and tell that it’s goin’ good when it really isn’t. Everyone at work keeps asking me about my weekend, wanting to see some pix of a crazy weekend, but I got nuthin’ for them.
Zoua called me last night askin’ me to go out with her and her sister, since it was her sister’s last night in town. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what was goin’ on so I told her I was busy. I really was busy but on a normal day I would have dropped what I was doing to go and hang out.
I’ll be MIA again this week since I’ll be up in San Jose for the viewing and Funeral. I leave Wed and I might be back on Sun.
I think that's what her name was. Hahahahaha. Last night was another fun night. We had an emergency meeting with the Street Crew to discuss matters on an upcoming event. I can't talk about it here cuz it's confidential but there is money to be made and my pockets are waiting for it. But back to Emma. So Zoua calls me up last night asking me what my plans are for the evening. I told her that I was gonna be downtown and she asked if she could tag along. Zoua is slammin' so I agree and she asks if we can get her girlfriend too. I ask if she's hot and she says of course. You know girls are gonna say their friends are hot even when they aren't so that's what I was expecting. So we get to Emma's place and as soon as I see her, I see an amazing rack. But on our way downtown, somehow the topic of her breasts come up and she says they're real. I called bullshiite. So I said something ridiculous like "Mine are real too. I always get people asking me those same questions." So she calls bullshiite too and I said when we get to the club she is welcome to feel them.
Fast forward and we're at the club. We're in line for a really long time cuz Zoua can't find her ID. I hint that it could possibly be in my backseat due to some "activities" prior. So Zoua asks Joel to go back to my car and look for it. Joel, being the Gentlemen that he is, gracefully declines and proceeds to walk away. Right then and there, Emma calls him out and Joel decides to step up. So Joel goes back to walk a mile to my car and look for Zoua's ID. While he is gone, Emma decides to take me up on my offer to see if mine were "real" and she's just grabbing and exploring and feeling me up for a good minute or two. So when she finished and gave her approval that they were "real" I had to do my inspection on her. So I start reaching in jokingly, but she sticks her chest out inviting me in. I wasn't really gonna go and grab them but as soon as I saw the chest stick out I dove right in. I'm doing my inspection and Jerry sees me and he's all like "What the furk?". So I tell Jerry, "You gotta feel these, they almost feel real." We all laugh and then she turns and points her chest towards Jerry and he goes in. Hahahahahaha. I still got one hand on them.
So Joel comes back and we ditch the girls to go meet with another girl and then we have our meeting. During the meeting we tell Joel about what just happened and he was all like "How come I always miss the good stuff?" It is true. He is always gone when the juicy stuff happens.
Fast forward again to the end of the night. These fools are a little blazed and they want to get Emma blazed. I tell Emma that Jerry is gay so he won't get turned on if you grab his crotch or if he grabs your boob. It's disgusting to him. I told her "you can totally take your clothes off in front of him and he will not be turned on." He was denying it at first but once he realized that I was setting him up for the alley oop, he played along. The bait was set so this is where me and Zoua take off and Emma is left with Joel and Jerry. I need to call them later to find out what happened after she got blazed cuz if the stuff she did when she was sober was fun, I can only imagine what she did while under the influence.
I finally figured out what was hurting my knee. I thought that it was from running cuz I'm too heavy and my knees cant take it. But it can. I was playing basketball again yesterday and I can run fine. I just get winded quick cuz I'm out of shape.
I was playing hackey sack after I played basketball and I was kicking all left and my right knee started to hurt. It's the same feeling as my left knee, the messed up one. So the pain I have in my knee is from me standing on one leg and turning my body while my foot is planted.
I was looking through myspace last night and I noticed that a bunch of people's default pix are ones that I took of them. It makes me happy to see that they like my work. =)
I played basketball with my younger cousins yesterday. We played 21 tips for about 3 hours in the blazing heat. I won the first game but after that, I was dead beat. I could feel my knee throbbing and my calf ready to cramp. I made no effort in game 2 and I don't even think they finished it. Everyone was pretty beat. We were all looking for water and I only brought 2 bottles and it got killed with the quickness.
My knee has been bothering me for a couple weeks now and I figured basketball/running would loosen it up. It felt ok when I was in motion but sitting still makes it hurt. When I get up, the first couple steps hurt but after a while it starts to warm up and begins to feel ok. I've been sleeping with a pillow under my knee to keep it elevated and bent. It hurts when I straighten it out.
I kinda feel like alcohol was too hard to give up. I never really drank that much, but then again I was never at the clubs every week. I feel like I should give something else up right now for another 40 days. I was thinking maybe meat. I dunno, we'll see.
Oh yeah, I was at the park yesterday and there were mad hunnies around. A bunch of milfs and it was a hot day so they had "good" outfits on.
Jocelyn called me yesterday while I was at work. I picked up cuz I haven't spoken to her in a long while. We ended up chatting for a good 30-45 mins. She's one of the few people I enjoy talking on the phone with. No offense to anyone else.
Right now she's a substitute teacher and this girl is maybe 4'11" and has the facial features of a 13 yr old with DD's. She's teaching middle school and high school. Pretty much all the kids are bigger than her. Hahahahaha. She was telling me that she was in the Teacher's Lounge one day and they said to her "Excuse me, this lounge is for the teachers only!" I can totally imagine that happening to her.
It turns out that she aint really likin' the scene in Arizona and she wants to come home. She said she might come home in June and I said I would take her to Medieval Times. That'll be so much fun. I've never been there before but it looks dope as hell.
I remember back in the day Bobby, her brother, said that he could see me and Jocelyn hooking up. She was always talking good stuff about me and we'd have so much fun together. I don't really find her attractive or anything but I had a really good time whenever I was with her. We could be silly and act like little kids and not care about what other people think about us. We're also pretty loud. And yesterday she told me that none of her other friends are fun. They never want to do the stuff that she wants to do. One time we went ice skating and I don't do that kind of thing but I went with her anyways and I was eating shit all day and she had the best time laughing at me. Hahahahaha. So then I was just holding on to her for dear life and every time I fell I would drag her down with me and have her land on top of me. It was a good experience but I'm not gonna do ice skating any time soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No, I don't really talk Alicia anymore. I have her as a friend on Facebook and that's my only contact with her nowadays.
Last night I dreamt of Alicia. She is the girl who worked in the Engineering Office at school. I used to visit that office everyday just to chat with her. And she would visit me in the lab from time to time and we'd have lunch together. I'd say that I'll take a 10 min break but it'll end up being an hour. She was easy to talk to and we'd get so into a conversation that she'd say "Man, I shouldn't have told you that." I took her out a few times also but she always emphasized that she'd go but "just as friends". Hahahaha. She felt the vibe, she knew what was up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to the dream: I went to go pick her up at her apartment complex and I couldn't find parking. I told her I'd pick her up at 8 and it was still 7:30something and I was driving around looking for a spot. I finally found one but I had to parallel park my huge truck into it. So here I am trying to squeeze into this little spot and I get in but I realize that I'm too far from the curb. So I go and attempt to park it again but I see some people coming out and there's this huge commotion out in the street. I can't see what's going on but I see Alicia come out and she's wearing a good outfit. I look at myself and realize that I'm not dressed nice enough so I take off and zoom home to change clothes. It's now 7:50something and I'm looking for something to wear. I zoom back to her place at a little past 8 and get her. We end up at a bowling alley with all my friends already there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's all I can remember of the dream. It's so random that she was in my dream. I thought she was really cute and fun to be around. I remember always inviting her out on Thursday nights but she'd have Bible study and I would call her anyways even though I knew. The last time I spoke to her was when I was in San Fran for the Chargers vs. 49ers game. She's from up north so she was home and I called her up to come meet us at Milk.
From last Friday to last night I have been out. Being out means no sleep. This morning it hit me real hard. The past few morning I've been able to get up and still feel ok but this morning I could not get up. My eyes felt like someone squeezed a lemon directly onto them and then proceeded to pour salt on it. It still hurts right now.
Tough it out. Suck it up. Get on with your life.
I'm not gonna go out tonight. I think I'd like to TRY to catch up on some sleep. Last night's photo shoot took alot out of me. Here's a little taste.....
Last night was dope. I've never been to downtown during St. Patty's and it was poppin'. You know it's poppin' when you get there at 8:45pm and people are already gettin' tossed into the paddy wagon.
I was at Ole' Madrid and my friend Monica was the hostess last night. It was DJ Rags spinnin' and he was playing all the jams. That's my new favorite DJ. But yeah, the night started off slow but then they hit the streets and hustled some people to come into the club. It was funny to see Johnny from G-Spot work it. He would give all the ugly girls half off and then the hot girls he would let in for free. And he would be all slick about it cuz some of them were in the same group of friends. Hahahahaha. So Johnny and his crew G-Spot are gonna throwing Pitbull's after party on Apr. 4. Pitbull is definitely gonna bring the hunnies and after last night, we built up a good rep with G-Spot so we might be participating in this after party. So Sportsfest is a no go. And by the way, I love white girls. Especially ones that are freshly 21.
Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening. That's the song I thought of when I was driving home at 4am on Saturday night/Sunday morning. This huge bolt of lightning lit up the sky and I almost wrecked cuz it was so bright. It was like when sometakes a picture of you and the flash is right in your face. Jerry was with me and right when it happened I slammed on the brakes. Its a good thing no one else was on the road.
On Friday night, Vanessa came over to my place and we had a jolly good time. We had the place to ourselves for a little while and we made a bunch of noise. I hope the neighbors weren't pissed. She came over around 8pm and we were doin' our thang til' 1130pm.
Saturday night we went to Decos and Belo. It was ok. Decos wasn't really poppin' and Belo was packed like an ass. It was sardine status, which made it hard to walk anywhere. I know people were drunk and what not but I had to call them out on their actions. We had a lil' pow wow at the end of the night so I could explain my point of view and let them know how I felt.
Yesterday I went to LA with Fonso to drop off his girl at LAX. She's goin' to the Philippines for a couple weeks. She's very clingy so she didn't really want to go. She needs to be around her bf all the time. I don't think I can handle a girl like that. I need some space to do my own thing. But Fonso likes it so he can handle it. But yeah, after we dropped her off we headed over to Roscoe's for some chicken and waffles. We aint never been there so we were excited to go. It was pretty damn good. I think all we did yesterday was eat. We were eating on the whole way up. We killed 2 bags of beef jerky and a big bag of Munchies. And then after Roscoe's on the way home we tore up another bag of beef jerky. Too much. In the car, we were practicing our vocals. We sang along with the entire Catch Without Arms album by Dredg and half of El Cielo. Fonso was there when we first started doing music so he mentioned how much I've improved. Singing is my weak point but I'm working on it.
I have leftover Roscoe's and I brought with me for lunch today. Yaye!
I love theme parties. The next theme party is gonna be a Pajama Jam. At least that's what the plans are. Hopefully it goes down cuz I'm stoked about it. And the person organizing it specifically said "pajamas", no lingerie or naked people allowed. That's kind of a disappointment for me cuz most of you know I don't sleep in very much clothing. But I'll buy a pair of pajamas for this party.
Vanessa is comin' over tonight. I better make sure I have enough condoms and lube available. SYKE. We're gonna have a jam session. Vanessa is a talented musician and I love playing with her. And I also enjoy playing music with her. Hahahaha. She is cute though and my thoughts do verge on dirty when I'm with her.
I played pool with Karmen last weekend. It was pretty fun. She was pretty faded and I wasn't so it wasn't really fair. Oh well. Before last Saturday, I didn't play pool in about a 2 or 3 years. And then on Sunday I played pool all day. I'm getting hooked again. And it doesn't help that my friend Richard got a pool table so we now have access to a table 24/7. Richard understands the game more than I do. I like it when we play each other cuz we're talking about the shots we're gonna do and the shots we've already made. It's like we're analyzing and learning as we play. I like to take more chances than Richard so I'm calling shots that he doesn't think is possible. Sometimes I make it and sometimes I don't. But after each shot, I know what to do next time around cuz we'll discuss what went wrong and what went right. When I say that Richard understands it more than me, I mean he knows all the terminology and the proper techniques. I'm pretty raw and I just go out there and do it. I'm starting to understand more cuz of him. That's what's good about playing with someone better than you. They bring you up to their level.
Nothing is sacred anymore. You all (yes, the 3 of you) know that I don't really kiss anyone on the lips. Well, last night I did it again. 3 times. But don't worry, it was the same girl. What can I say? I have a weakness for drunk girls. Who doesn't?
And I got to meet The Twins last night. Both sets. One of them was actually pretty cool. You wouldn't expect that from that type of girl.
I had someone offering to pay me more than what I am currently get paid. It's a music company. They're having their official launch party next Friday and imma see if they really meant what they said.
These next couple weeks are gonna be crazy for me: *3/15 - Fame @ Decos, Kasia's B-day @ Belo *3/17 - St. Patty's @ Ole Madrid *3/19 - Mansion Wednesday @ Red Circle *3/21 - ???Jive Music Official Launch Party @ Onyx/Thin??? *3/22 - White Out @ Aubergines *4/04 - ???Pitbull Afterparty??? *4/04 to 4/06 - Sportsfest
I just got off the phone with Michelle. She called me during her lunch break. And you all know I don't like talking on the phone. But I enjoyed it this time. There's a few people that I do enjoy talking on the phone with. There's Aileen, Jocelyn, and now Michelle. Sorry, no offense to anyone else. I like it cuz they're all talkative and I don't have to do much talking. I'll have my moments where I put in my 2 cents but 80% of the time it's all them. And they go off. And they don't mind. I'll say one little sentence and they'll be all like "this reminds of me the time...blah blah blah" for 30 mins. I'm dictating the conversation by topics I introduce but it's them who do all the talking.
I can't even remember what me and Michelle were talking about. We say a bunch of silly things to each other. But I do remember hearing a bunch of little kids keep interrupting out conversation. Ha. I said I'd try to call her tonight, but I got work later so I doubt that will happen.
So last night was Staci's roommate's b-day party over at Channel 1. It was pretty fun. The theme of the party was 80's night and a whole lotta people were dressed up, including myself. I love how all the bartenders are female and they're all pretty slammin'. And they dress up to the themes as well. I really like going to Channel 1. I think might start going more often, even though people look at me weird cuz I'm the minority.
And I ran into Michelle's friend Celina. It turns out that Michelle is not playing games with me. Everything she said was the truth. She's a straight shooter. I asked her friend a few questions and her friend has no idea what's going on between us so she has no reason to back up her lies. It was just a little absurd where I thought it might be a made up story. But it's the truth. I was wrong once again. And I might burn for it. There goes my seats.....
This is a confession I'm not willing to make. I try to hide it as best I could. I see all my friends in relationships, getting married, having babies, and yet I'm still all alone. I'm happy for them but I wish someone could say they were happy for me. I give them nothing to be happy about. I can't help but think if there's something wrong with me. It's been a good while since I was in an actual relationship. I know I'm fat as hell and that is one of the major contributors but I'm working on it. I've been working on it. Some people have it easier than others. Some people are just lazy, like myself. I try to keep myself as busy as possible so I don't have to deal with my reality. All I'm doing is buying some time but I don't think it's doing any good. It still lingers in the back of my mind that I am not worthy. Not worthy for anyone. I come with excuses but I'm only trying to trick myself.
Last night I hit up the last girl that made me feel alive. I apologized for the way things ended and for the way things are now. She was nothing but a positive influence on me and I said some things I shouldn't have cuz I'm selfish. I shouldn't have let my ego get in the way. I can't remember the last time I saw her but the last contact I had with her was this past July and I flaked for her b-day. I vividly remember cuz it was same day as Ernie's bachelor party and I put him ahead of her. It's what friends do. And I never saw her again.
I just can't get anything right. Destiny is not on my side.
...but I did this weekend. I find kissing to be more intimate than doing the deed. It might sound a little strange but that's what I believe. I will "do" someone I'm not attracted to but I sure as hell won't kiss them. There's just something about kissing that is more passionate and more sincere. You just can't fake it.
I had a dream last night that I was out with this girl and I knew who she was but I was acting like I didn't know her. It's like when you've never met someone but you've heard alot about them from your friends. It was that type of deal. Well, we were on on this date getting to know each other and we're having a blast and what not. And then I reveal to her that we have mutual friends and I've heard alot of good things about her. And then she says she knows exactly who I am too and she was playing the same game as me. And then things became even more fun after that.
That's all I can remember from that segment of the dream. The next part of my dream that I can remember is meeting some guy who is a lead singer for a band but he's also the drummer. He was showing the trouble he had when doing a crazy drum fill while singing a crazy melody. He had to torque his body in such a way for his mouth to reach the mic while turning the other way to hit the drums. It looked painful.
Maybe not once. It probably happened a few times. But the time I'm remembering is when I was sick and I was driving to school. Right when I found a parking spot, I coughed really hard and accidentally sharted cuz my abs contracted so hard that it squeezed one out. I walked so slow to campus. I didn't want it to smear all over my pants. I think I skipped my first class. And now you know why I carry extra clothes in my car at all times.
When I've done what I've wanted for the day or I just can't seem to focus, I have a tendency to just munch away. I dunno, it feels comforting and somewhat productive. I know I shouldn't but logic doesn't work sometimes. I can't explain the things I do except try to come up with reasons to back up my actions. It's not something I consciously think about. I probably would never have noticed if I didn't weigh 250+ lbs.
I wear underwear one size smaller so I can feel "bigger"
Yeah, I know it sounds a little crazy but hey, it's what I do. It's like when super fat people wear all black so it doesn't show their fat. It's the same idea. I think I have Napoleon Complex where I lack a certain feature/trait so I try and make up for it by exceeding expectations elsewhere.
I probably watch it every other night or so. I dunno, I don't really watch TV cuz I don't have one in my room but I do have a comp. So it just makes sense. It's pretty fun to watch and it's even funner to see it happening live right in front of you. It's an experience like no other. I can't believe the effort that goes into filming a 15 minute scene. It takes about 5 hours or so and I don't think I would ever be able to do that. I have trouble maintaining for more than 20 mins. These guys are like professional athletes. I can't imagine the kind of training they do that hold these crazy positions for an extended amount of time. I remember trying one of them crazy positions and I did like 15 pumps and then I started to cramp up. I need to build up my stamina.....
Ever since I was born my whole family has called me Erick. It wasn't until 7th grade that I started going by Fred. It was very weird for me. At first I didn't really respond when people called me Fred. I thought they were talking to someone else. And the fact that I have 4 uncles that are also named Fred makes things weird. People would call my house and ask for Fred and even my Mom will say you got the wrong number. Hahahahaha.
A couple of days ago some girl came to my house to drop something off when I wasn't home and it said Fred on it. Well, my Uncle was the one who answered it and he goes by Fred too. So he thought it was for him. Hahahahaha. So he was all like "this is for me?" and he started talking to the girl to see what it was all about. And she explained that this was for the photographer and then he immediately knew who she was talking about.
So when I got home, he told me all about the encounter and he thought his dreams came true by some beautiful girl coming to the house and taking him away. Hahahahahaha.
So yeah, if you're ever at my house it is a big no-no to refer to me as Fred.
I don't feel like a complete musician due to the fact that I can't sing. I practice everyday on any chance I get. I just don't like to do it around people cuz I don't want to make their ears bleed. I practice and practice and I feel like I get better throughout the rehearsal but the next time I practice I feel like I'm in the same spot as I was before. When you practice, it's supposed to bring your game up a level but I've been on the same level for quite some time. It's a little discouraging but this is something I want to do. I didn't learn how to play drums overnight so singing will come eventually.
I have thought about vocal lessons but right now I can't commit the time to do it. I got my full-time job, the part time job, my band, and my Mom on my case all the time. Whatever free time I have is spent sleeping.
I started this blog back in '03 cuz I had a few friends who blogged and it was a way to keep each other up to date with our lives since we didn't see each other on a daily basis. But I eventually stopped seeing them and they never updated anymore and I didn't know if they kept on reading mine so I stopped. I went to various other blogging venues such as Xanga, Fotopages, etc. I stopped writing about my life (cuz it was boring and it probably still is to this day) so I started writing poetry and taking pictures. I wrote my poetry on Xanga and random people would read my entries and they soon became regulars. My poetry was basically my thoughts on love, friendship, intimacy, roles in society, psychology, etc. It was all over the place.
My Fotopage took over my blog since I captured moments of fun. It was just funner for my friends to look at pix of what I did rather than read about what I did. This page I showed to my family and friends. It was for everyone to see what I was doing. I stopped Fotopages cuz there were too many random weirdos that were getting on that site.
But now I'm back here on blogger for the time being and I update it cuz I wanted to keep in touch with my favorite engineer. After school ended, we kinda lost touch for a little bit. That's probably my fault cuz I don't really like talking on the phone and I'm too lazy to drive up north. But yeah, this was my main form of communication with her. I feel like she helped me so much in school cuz I'm kinda lazy and she motivated me to do better. I remember the first time she talked to me. We were sitting in the hall outside one of our classes and she was asking me something and I wasn't responding cuz I don't have good hearing. I finally looked to my side once I heard an almost angry, kinda annoyed voice say "Excuse me!" Hahahahaha. I felt pretty bad cuz I kinda heard her talking but I didn't know it was directed towards me. And to make things worse, we were the only two people in the hall. Hey, she could have been on her phone. Hahahahaha. Yeah, that's my life is that boring.
No one knew about this blog except her but then somehow Shanel found out about it. I think I wanted to show her a pic or something that I had posted and I sent her the link. And I guess she started to read it. And then Shanel told Ramon about it. I didn't tell him about it cuz I see him all the time anyways so what's the point? And now a few other people know about it. So I guess it's no longer for one person....but it was for about a year and a half. =)
Right now I'm trying out this "confessions" deal to see what I can find out about myself. I dunno how long this will last. There aren't too many skeletons in my closet so this could possibly end soon.
I think I wanna start my 365 project again. I think it might be easier this time around cuz I have a photography job and I HAVE to take pix all the time. So once this "confessions" deal ends, I might do that. But it might have to be called 366 since this is a leap year.
I can't sleep even if I wanted to. I've been known to say that sleep is overrated and I don't exactly believe that 100% but I do think it takes up unwanted time. I feel it cuts into my production and disrupts my creative juices. Usually at night is when I start to feel like I can accomplish something. I dunno, maybe it's the whole work thing during the day that occupies my mind but when I start winding down and relaxing at night that's when my mind starts to go into overdrive. Maybe I should start writing these blogs at night then? No, I'd rather be doing something else than writing these at home.
But yeah, I feel sleepy and then I lay down and close my eyes. And then I'll lay there for a couple hours before I fall asleep. I normally get 4 hours of sleep a night. People ask how I can get by with that little sleep. I have no good answer to give them. All I can say is "you just do it." I catch up on the weekends though.
This weekend we went out and things got pretty wild. Needless to say, I had an excellent time. There was this girl and we ended doing some things that I'm not really proud of. Things I shouldn't have done with her I did. I shouldn't have done it cuz I have no idea where she's been. But in that moment of pleasure I didn't care. The thought did cross my mind in the middle of the session but I didn't want to stop. You know what they say, "Fill it up again! It's so good! Once it hits your lips it's so good." And I did end up going for seconds.
That was probably one the wildest nights I've ever had. No regrets.
Speaking of which, I did see Kaylani Lei that same night.
I know it might sound funny, since I'm a grown man and all, but it's true. When I get up in the middle of the night (to use the bathroom or grab a drink, etc.) I flip on every light switch that I pass by. It's not so much the dark that I'm afraid but it's more what my imagination portrays shadows/silhouettes to be. If it was pitch black I think I would be ok. Just having another person there also gives me comfort.
When I was a kid I refused to sleep on my own. I either slept in my parents' room or my brother's room. When I finally got my own room, I had this little cushion mattress thingy that I would put on the floor and I would bring that into their rooms and sleep on it.
If I'm in unfamiliar territory and it's dark, my mentality is to get ready to hit something. It's the fight or flight response and I'm ready to fight.
I cleaned my truck again this weekend since it rained right after I cleaned it last week. Guess what's happening today? Yup, you guessed it. It's raining. What is this now, the 5th consecutive time this has happened? CURSED.
Me:....hey, looks aint nothing if your body can’t talk….and your body can talk!!!!! It’s been telling me all the right things. =)
Her:That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me! Thank you!
Me:I wasn’t just saying that, I mean it. I don’t even like dancing, I hate dancing in public but when I’m dancing with you I’m enjoying every second of it.
Her:Ur too much fun....I find it hard to believe you don’t like dancing. And in general you’re fun to be around....Where were u while I was in college?!?!? We’ve got to find more stuff to do again...
I don't like her but she does give me a sense of comfort....especially when we're grinding. Hahahahaha.
And here I am at work. This was another busy weekend for me. Busy weekends mean no sleep.
Friday was the Hearts On Fire event over at Red Circle. Vanessa and Marcos came out. It really means a lot to me that they came out. We had a good time even though the music was "not our flavor". The night started off real slow and we were the only ones in the place and then it picked up quite a bit later on. I did end up getting one girl's number that night. I don't really try to get girl's number when I hit the clubs cuz I'm not really a "club person" and if I meet them there then that means they're gonna want to go there all the time. But yeah, I'm trying to break out of my comfort zone and do things I haven't done before.
Saturday I was supposed to audition for this band but I called them up and told them that I was really busy all week for both my jobs and I didn't get a chance to listen to and learn their music. So I told them it wasn't a good idea for me to audition and the singer was all like "Oh, it's all good. I'm actually on my way to Vegas right now so we wouldn't have been able to do the audition anyways." So that kinda told me where their priorities are at and I told him that I probably wouldn't be auditioning in the future as well.
I went to a wedding on Saturday afternoon/night and I got to see some former co-workers. It was good seeing them cuz they were the people I actually liked. And I'm glad I got invited to the wedding. The groom was the singer for the death metal band and the guys in his band were there too and they were trying hard to get me to commit to the band. we were talking music all night and listening to stuff they like and stuff I like. I was getting a good vibe from them and they had a demo, which was pretty good, and it was making me want to play. But yeah, anytime there is a wedding I'm always trying to get with girls. But the only girls there were the groom's little sisters and cousins so I didn't want to mess with that. They were barely legal but they were drinking it up anyways. And I was dancin' with them for a while. Hahahaha. There was music playing and people were gathered around but no one was dancing so I just went in the center and started to get my groove on. The girls were laughing at first and I was just making eye contact with them trying to get them on the dance floor. It worked cuz they started dancing too. They were getting a little too comfortable with me and I had to stop cuz I didn't want the other people there thinking I was trying to hook up with these youngins. Later on in the night, the bride came up to me and was all like "Fred, I invited my single girl friends but none of them showed up[to the reception]. I was lookin' out for you." I think that was her way of telling me to stay away from the youngins. So I chilled with the groom for the rest of the night. Hahahaha.
Sunday night we went to House of Blues (to meet Ashley Robles) and Jade Theater. we got to meet the head guys at Victory Nightlife, Heavy Rotation, Cockstar Army and another company. We met so many people that I doubt anybody will even remember meeting each other. I did take a bunch of pix and handed out a bunch of cards so people will check the website looking for their picture.
Last night I was actually cold. That's not a good sign. I usually only get cold if I'm sick. So when I woke up this morning I felt all congested again and I hacked up all this yellowish-green phlegm. I was just sick a couple weeks ago. C'mon now.
Karmen is so cute. She treats me like how a Mother would treat their child. I told her all the stuff that I've been doing outside of work and she is so worried for me. I haven't really been getting sleep and my mind is all over the place (which is why I got my PDA back up so I could keep track of everything). But yeah, she was all like "You have to give something up. Your other job or your band. You're doing too much. You need to let your body rest." And I know she's right. Cuz my Mom tells me the same thing. Thanks Karmen for caring so much. =)
I tried wearing my watch on my left hand today. It just feels weird. It's like I'm wearing my shoes backwards or something. Plus my left wrist is so much bigger than my right. I have no idea why. It's probably just buffer cuz I use it every night. j/k. Or am I? LOL
Tonight is the event over at Red Circle. It should be fun. I'm expecting a good amount of people.
I tried to run but my knees can't take it anymore. I need to bike for a while until I drop a few and then I can start running again. I've gone over my max and I need to get back under.
Project: Mustache Rides! has ended. I just don't like the way a mustache looks on me. Plus I can feel it every time I kiss someone. I'm sure they feel it too and it can't be comfortable.
I am officially cursed. Every time I wash my truck, it rains that same week. This is the third consecutive time this has happened. It's like every little step I take, you will be there. Every little step I make, we'll be together.
Oh yeah, it's Valentines Day. Marcos got me this Transformers card with a pencil and a lollipop. Hahahahahahaha. Last year I got everyone some Winnie the Pooh and friends Valentines cards. That was when only like 20 people were working here. Now there's a grip of peeps and I didn't feel like buying that much stuff. I shoulda just got stuff for all the girls but eveyone already thinks I mess around with them too much. To them this would justify that I'm doing extracurricular activities with them. A few people asked if me and "insert_name_here" were having some sort of fun outside of work. I gave them an open ended answer with nothing definitve so I could leave some stuff for their imagination. It just makes things funner that way. And I'm sure the girls don't enjoy being the center of office gossip. Me, on the other hand, I don't really care and I will add fuel to any rumors and make them more ridiculous than they already are.
It was another sleepless night for me. It didn't help that I got home around 1230am. We had our weekly meetings and I got the dates and times for all the events this week. The PDA is very helpful. But yeah, after our meeting we went over to Red Circle and I took a few pix over there. The place wasn't really poppin' but there were a few hunnies. The plastic twins (two girls who have had plenty of surgical enhancements) are always there, Chloe and Nicolette are always there(they're the hosts for Wednesday nights) and I finally got to meet them, and there were a few random girls in the mix. I would say there was about 20 people in there. Red Circle is pretty small. I think 50 people would make the place look poppin'.
I think imma start changing what I write about on here starting next week (or earlier). I don't like writing about my life. It's boring. I think I might explore creative writing....
I'm still having trouble going to sleep. Last night I got sleepy around 9ish so I tried to go to bed but I was just laying there for about an hour. So I got up and got my PDA back up to speed and killed about an hour and a half. So I went back to bed and it took like another 30 mins for me to fall asleep. So by this time it's almost 1am and I set my alarm to 6am. 5 hours of sleep is usually good for me but I still feel so tired.
My truck is clean, both the interior and exterior. I still have to clean my rims but other than that it looks good. I also bought a watch battery but as I was doing so I saw this other watch that looked dope so I bought it. The face on this watch has like a 3 inch diameter. My regular watch probably has a 1.5 inch diameter face. This new one is huge. I like it.
My left eye has been twitching a lot. I can feel it twitching right now.
Tonight I'm having a meeting with my other job. I need to find out the dates for some events. I think I remember us having to go to an event this Saturday ()during the day) but I have that band audition and also the wedding to go to. Which reminds me, I should buy a wedding gift. I think a bottle of wine would suit nicely. Or a bottle of Patron. Hahahahaha.
I have yet to learn the music for that band I'm auditioning for. It's pop-punk/emo so it's not too hard to play. I just gotta figure out when the changes are. But I'm questioning whether I should even go or not. I really want to play drums. I have been yearning to actually play drums in a band but there are so much other things going good for me right now. So much things I wanna do and not enough me's. I wish I had a clone or two. That'd be tight if we shared all the same memories. Like if I was out with this girl and my clone was at home learning new songs on guitar, we would both remember the experiences I had with this girl and we would both remember the song my clone learned. This would also give new meaning to doing two chicks at the same time. The possibilities are endless.
It's been hard for me to sleep at night and even harder to wake up in the mornings. My internal clock has been shifted and I don't know how to get it back to normal. Right now my eyes are twitching from the lack of sleep and looking at a screen all damn day.
I need to get my PDA back up and running. I stopped using it cuz I wasn't as busy but now I'm starting to get super busy and I'm thinking in my head "I know I need to do something today but I can't remember." Imma list the things I need to do this week (after work and picking up my Mom).
Tuesday: *wash my truck *clean the interior of my truck *get a new watch battery *learn music *change my Kaiser password (that won't take long)
Wednesday: *meeting for my other job *bring/fill out worksheets for my other job *learn music *hopefully get PDA up and running
Thursday: *bring Shanel to the airport *learn music *band practice? (it's Valentines so I'm not sure if we're rehearsing)
Friday: *Event photography at Red Circle (stop on by. i'll take some pix of you)
Saturday: *audition for band (2pm) *wedding to attend (5pm)
I think imma be playing up in Rancho Bernardo on the 23rd. I'm giving you fair warning April. Ha. It'll most likely be around 6 or 7pm. I'll find out the details. I was informed of this last week but I've been given a lot of information and I didn't write any of it down. So that's why I said "I think". I'll get the "for sure" info soon.
On Friday, I got to see my old band play. This was their first show with their new drummer. I must say that they sound waaaaaay better with this drummer. He has a playing style like me. He's very precise and not too flashy. Real solid. I took a bunch of pix of them. And then I was gonna stop by Ramon's b-day thing over at On Broadway. I aint never been there before so I wasn't too sure where it was at. I figured by the name it would be on Broadway and I saw a long line over on Sixth and Broadway so I figured that's where it was at. But then I was cruising around for parking for like 40 mins. I was trying to call and text some people that I knew were inside but they weren't responding so I bounced. I was tired and hungry and I'm not drinking anyways.
Saturday I was supposed to go to Tin's b-day thing at On Broadway. I ended up not going cuz we went to Aubergines and chilled with Danity Kane. We helped promote the event they were hosting so we got in with the quickness and we got to meet them and chill. I really like Aundrea. She was real sweet and easy to talk to. And then I didn't get home til 5:30am. My Dad called me around 4 cuz that's the time he usually leaves for work and he noticed that I wasn't home yet.
Sunday I slept pretty much the whole day. When I was awake I was playing guitar. I'm real excited about playing cuz me and Vanessa have been jamming a lot. I'm working on my vocals so we can do harmonies.
I got asked to play drums in another band. This one is kinda pop-punkish/emo. I know the singer and he's a cool guy so I said I'd try out. My audition is this coming Saturday at 2pm. Ha.
And I also got invited to this wedding. The singer of that Death Metal band that asked me to play for them is getting married and they invited me along. I haven't told them whether or not I'm gonna play with them yet. But I did say I'd attend the wedding.
They were on my case about some stuff that needed to get done so I've been doing that all morning. Now that I'm almost done, here I am.
Last night's Strauss was cool even though I didn't do any drinking. And I love getting to spend time with my favorite engineer. I don't see see her nearly enough.
Andie brought her guitar to work today and we jammin' on a couple songs earlier during break. I was playing "No One" by Alicia Keys and Andie sings it so damn beautiful. If I close my eyes, I swear it's Alicia Keys. Too bad Andie didn't come to Strauss last night. It would have been fun with her around. =)
Misc. Ailments Foundation, my old band, is playing tonight at the Epicentre here in Mira Mesa. I invited Andie along. Hopefully she comes through. MAF has a new drummer and I'm curious to see how he plays. I've heard good things about him and I saw him play with his previous band but I didn't like their music. I kinda wish they asked me to play for them, but I doubt I'll have the time to do it. That's why I decided NOT to play in that Metal band that asked me to play for them. I'd like to have at least 4 hours of sleep a night. Ha.
Tomorrow is Tin's 21st b-day party. She's gonna have a little thing at On Broadway and I said I would stop by.
Tonight is another night of Strauss. I gave up alcohol for Lent so no drinking for me. It'll be fun either way.
So last night I was over at Red Circle and this girl I kick it with spilled her drink all over her hand so she decides to stuff her fingers in my mouth. I thought she was just getting frisky, cuz that's how she is, but I licked her fingers and I tasted alcohol. I didn't know she had spilled her drink all over her hand until after I licked her fingers. And then I asked her if that was alcohol cuz I gave up alcohol. All the other people we were with knew I gave up alcohol so they started messing with her. They started saying "Why'd you do that to him? Don't you know he's allergic to alcohol?" And then she got all freaked out and thought I was gonna get all messed up and what not. Hahahahahaha. But I dunno if that counts as me messing up cuz I had a taste of alcohol even though I said I would give it up. I don't think it should cuz MY intent was just to get frisky with her and lick her fingers. I had no idea the alcohol was there. INTENT. Good topic.
Speaking of intent, I had a heart to heart last night. It was about me as a person. I got called out. Called out bad. And I needed it. It helped bring things back into perspective. This conversation had to do with intentions and life. What do you intend to do in your life? What steps are you taking to get there? The moral of the conversation is similar to like when you borrow a movie or a book from someone and you finish watching it or reading it. A lot of times people will just let that item sit around somewhere and not return it to the person they borrowed it from until that person asks for it back. How rude is that? You should have the decency to return it as soon as you are done. And you, as the lender, shouldn't have to wait over a month and then ask if they are done with it. That's basically what I'm doing in my life right now. I'm not returning things I borrowed, figuratively. It's 38 days into the new year, and the 1st for the Chinese New Year (happy year of the rat), but from this day forward I am aware of what needs to be done. This is about respect. For myself and for the people I interact with. I apologize for my actions. Ignorance is unkind.
So last night I was asked to make a some flyer's for Riley's. My friends DJ there every week so they asked me to make some simple flyers. Too bad they're on my home computer cuz I wanted to show some people.
I was at 85% healthy yesterday and for some reason today I feel at 75%. I woke up to some congestion and my cough is starting to become more frequent. I'm drinking some tea with honey right now. It feels good.
So I got a new phone yesterday. My bro hooked me up with some European phone that they're making. It's one of those slider phones and it's pretty solid. I like it way better than my old phone. My old one had like a plastic casing and this one feels like some nice composite material.
I've been writing alot of music and I want to record it cuz yesterday I was playing one of my songs for this girl and I was forgetting the song. Maybe it was the pressure of having an audience? A one person audience? Yeah, I think that's more nerve-racking than playing in front of 100 people. But yeah, I couldn't remember how my song went so I didn't play it anymore. I think it was more that she asked to hear some of my new material and it kinda put me on the spot. It's like when someone asks me what songs I know on guitar, I can't think of any. But when I'm by myself I play all these songs that people are always asking for.
So I've been conversing with this girl and she tells me that she's an introvert and she sometimes acts like it but I don't believe her. I think it's a front cuz she is a helluva performer. I don't understand how someone who is afraid to be around people can be so comfortable performing/singing in front of hundreds of people. It just doesn't make sense to me. I know people who are social butterflies but when they get on stage, they get the biggest case of stage fright. I can understand that. It's someone who is not in their element and they're not comfortable. I don't know where I fall here. I think I'm the ultimate exhibitionist. I crave attention. I want all eyes on me. I don't know if that's the vibe I give off. You tell me.
Health update: I feel like I'm at 85%. I still don't feel like I can run a mile in under 10 mins but I feel good. My voice is almost back to normal and I don't have the bloody phlegm anymore. I still have a little bit of a nagging cough but that's it. Speaking of coughs, yesterday at work I coughed really hard and as I my did my abs contracted. And usually when my abs contract I'm trying to push something. Well, I pushed something out when I coughed. Hahahahaha. I let this juicy one rip accidentally when I coughed. I got a leather chair here at work. I'm sure that helped amplify the sound. Right when it happened I had this look of horror on my face and I started looking around to see if anyone heard it. Juan, the dude sitting next to me, had his headphones on and he turned in my direction but I gave this shrug of my shoulders and had this face of "did you just hear something or did I imagine it?" I started cracking up when he turned back to his computer.
So I get this call on my phone yesterday. It was a number I didn't recognize so I didn't answer it. If they don't leave a voice message then I don't bother calling back. This person left a voice message and it went something like this: "Hey Fred, this is David. Long time no see but I wanted to talk to you if you were interested in playing drums for a band? Give me a call back. Later." I don't remember a David. There was some guy named David that played in a band that my old band used to play shows with. That was the only David I could remember. So this dealt with music so I decided to call him back. It turns out this David is my former co-worker from the Roller Coaster and he plays in a band now. When I was with my old band I gave him a CD and he was impressed with my playing. This was like 6 years ago. So his current band has gone through a number of drummers and they wanted to find a good one and he remembered me. I guess he still had my number cuz I sure as hell didn't have his anymore. But yeah, we chatted for a bit and got each other up to speed with what we're doing nowadays. So I'm interested in playing in this band cuz I haven't "played" drums in 3 years and drums are my passion. I asked David for some samples and he led to their youtube videos. So I go and watch these videos and these guys are Death/Black/Heavy Metal. It's pure screaming and a lot of speed. I haven't played metal since high school. That's over 7 years ago. I don't think I have the stamina to play metal. It's gonna be interesting.
2 jobs and possibly 2 bands? I dunno if I have the time for that. It's hard enough with just one job and one band.
I had every intention of getting him something but I waited last minute and something came up so I didn't get the chance. I'm still gonna get him something. Better late than never.
So I missed my gig on Saturday and I also missed the SuperBowl yesterday. I also had every intention of doing both but something came up. Here's the story:
I wake up to a text from Fonso on Saturday morning about the gig. I replied and went back to sleep. My bro comes into my room a few hours later and tells me to pack my stuff and that we're leaving. I told him I had a gig later on in the day. And he informs me that my Grandma is in the hospital. We got a bunch of people calling the house asking about the situation.
So I packed my bags and texted Fonso that I wasn't going to be able to make it to the gig tonight. He wasn't pissed about it. He was very understanding, which put me at ease. I hate to cancel any gigs, but music was the last thing on my mind. So we drove up to the Bay that instant. Apparently my Grandma had been in the hospital for 4 days now and I wasn't really home the past few days so I didn't hear about it.
We left San Diego around 2pm and we were worried that visiting hours would be closed by the time we got to the hospital. So we called my Auntie around 7pm to ask her what time the visiting hours were and she tells us the they released my Grandma from the hospital earlier in the day. So we went straight to my Auntie's house and stayed there.
When we saw our Grandma, she looked like she had lost a lot of weight. My Grandma is around 5'2" and 110 lbs. But it looked like she was only 90 lbs. She didn't eat for four days at the hospital. I guess she didn't like the food there. My Auntie was saying the doctors released her early so she could eat the food she normally eats at home and she'll gain her strength back.
I think my Grandma had caught a cold and it took a turn for the worst and she had all this fluid in her lungs and I think they had diagnosed her with pneumonia. I'm glad she's at home and doing better.
I don't feel any better today. I don't feel sick anymore but my voice is all jacked and my throat is all super dry. Other than that I feel fine. I'm drinking some tea with some honey and it feels nice cuz my throat is getting all coated with honey and it doesn't feel so dry anymore. I wonder how long this will last.
Karmen is back to work today but she still doesn't look recovered. She told me she had to go on the patch so she wouldn't smoke cuz it'll just jack her up even more. I've been trying to convince to stop smoking but it's like trying to convince me to go to the doctor. It's tough. Hahahahaha.
I got a gig tomorrow with my band but I didn't really tell anyone. It's up in Rancho Bernardo or Poway or somewhere up north. I think it's off Pomerado. But yeah, I don't really invite people to my gigs anymore cuz I feel like I'm putting a burden on them. I'll tell them and if they have plans or can't make it then they feel bad for not going. Plus I don't think my friends really like my music. They just say it sounds nice cuz they're my friends. I don't really mind cuz the music is for me. It's my therapy.
Here's a little video clip from our last performance at the Children's Hunger Benefit. This song is called Mt. Everest.
I had this crazy dream where one of our friends had passed away. The scenario was she got into a minor car accident but wasn't hurt too bad. Since she wasn't really hurt she didn't go to a hospital or anything. After a few days she started to feel a little weird so then she decides to go to a hospital. It turns out she had some head trauma and it caused some swelling in her brain and it put her into a coma or something and she never woke up from it. I remember talking to her and trying to get some explanation as to why she waited so long to go get checked up and she said she was trying to be tough.
This one hits me pretty hard cuz for the past week everyone I know has been trying to get me to go see a doctor and I kept saying imma tough it out. It was only after Karmen hit me up from her death bed and tried to convince me to go see a doctor that I decided maybe it would be a good idea to actually go. Karmen had to go to the ER the other day cuz she couldn't breathe and it really scared her. It scared me to see her in that condition. And here she is asking if I went to go get checked up. She thinks we have the same ailment, which we probably do, but I don't smoke so I don't have it as bad as her. It meant a lot to me that she tried to reach out even though she was in a weakened state. Next time I get sick, I will go to a doctor right away. But right now I think this sickness has pretty much ran it's course so I won't go.
I think I'm at 70% right now. The only thing that bothers me is a dry throat and I feel like I have fluid in my lungs cuz when I exercise I can feel it as I breathe harder. I guess I shouldn't exercise yet. I also have an occasional cough when I feel the fluid in my lungs. My cough is to try to get that fluid out.
...to recovery. I feel like my body is at 60% right now. I say another week and I'll be back to 100%. Everyday I've been feeling better and better and this morning when I opened my eyes I thought I was all good. And then I stood up and I felt all the congestion in my chest and throat. My tongue is still slightly numb and swollen. I also have my appetite back, which I'm happy about.
I got an award at work for providing a service to the entire floor. Fred's Diner is a hit with management. They love the fact that everything at my store is half the price than the vending machines. Chips, $0.25. Sodas, $0.40. I wonder if the guys who stock the vending machine notice anything fishy? Hahahahaha.
I've been feeling like making a change lately. Be on the lookout for something different.....
I probably slept for a total of 12 hours yesterday. I went home a little before noon and slept til 5:30pm. I was then wide awake until about 11 and then slept til 7am this morning. I feel slightly better.
I've been taking my Mom to work in the morning cuz my bro is up in Newport all this week getting CATIA V5 training for his new job. He keeps asking me if I'm siiiick in CATIA and I always say I'm alright. I mean I don't do any design in it but I just manipulate parts/assemblies already made and what not.
Every time I cough it feels like I'm getting punched in the throat. I mean I'm not coughing very much, maybe like once an hour, but it's pretty powerful.
I've been drinking about 3 gallons of water a day since I'm not eating that much and I'm sweating out all my fluids. But for the week that I've been sick, I think I've lost 10 lbs. I started wearing some shirts I haven't worn in about 2 years. And my regular shirts now feel all super baggy.
You know how guys will open the car door for girls? And then I'll walk around and open my door. There's this girl that I took out a few times and she opens my door for me from the inside. That's never really happened to me before. I find it to be very impressive. She appreciates my gesture and returns the favor.
I was working this weekend and here is a link to the pix I took. I can officially say that I am a professional photographer. I get paid now! YES!
So on Saturday I drank some some TheraFlu to try to help me get better but after the first sip it felt like I bit my tongue. I thought that the TheraFlu was just that strong and it's attacking whatever virus/disease/sickness that I have. After I finished the cup of TheraFlu I felt something behind my jaw and under my ear start to hurt. It was as though it was swelling up. I didn't think anything of it.
Fast forward ahead 2 hours and now we're at Phil's BBQ for my sister's b-day. So I'm there eating my ribs and chicken and I could feel that something behind my jaw and under my ear getting bigger with each bite of my food. Halfway through my meal, it was painful to even open my mouth. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and saw that this huge mound had developed on the side of my jaw. It looked like I had been hit by a baseball bat to the face and this huge grapefruit sized welt was developing. My tongue was going numb and the left side of my face was 3 times bigger than my right side.
So we get home and I ice it down but it's painful as heck. My Mom tells me that I might have the Mumps. I don't know what the heck that is so I look it up and sure enough, I'm displaying all the symptoms of it. I read about the causes/triggers of the symptoms and lemon was one of the irritants. The TheraFlu I drank was Lemon flavored and I had some raspberry lemonade at Phil's BBQ.
Right now, the left side of my tongue is still a little swollen and slightly numb. It kinda feels like I was at the dentist. I woke up this morning to excruciating pain. My tongue was twice the size it is now and it was painful to chew anything.
Karma. The time is coming for me to give up a lot of the things I love. I need to make things right.
It turns out that I'm not the only one who is suffering from these fever and chill symptoms. A good number of people in the office are experiencing the same thing as me. The only person who I know was sick was Scott. And we go get our morning coffee/tea together all the time. So I think I got sick from him.
This morning I had the crazy shakes. My entire body was shivering so much that my lower back muscles tightened up and it was all hell. I tried to curl up in the fetus position but that didn't help.
I took some Motrin IB at 5am and I feel pretty good right now. The only thing that's bothering me right now is my throat. It just feels dry as hell and no matter how much liquids I drink it still feels this way.
I'm not really used to drinking hot drinks but I've been drinking it alot for the past few days and I've drank so much hot stuff that a layer of skin on my lower lip has been burned off. I can feel it when I press my tongue against my lip. It also hurts when I drink hot stuff now.
After work Andie wants to get together for some beers and she wants to hear stories from Vegas. She's been bugging me ever since we got back from Vegas. I told her there are no stories to tell. We basically stayed in our hotel rooms and watched TV all day every day. That's not really the truth but I dunno if she should know what we did. I don't want her perception of me to change. I mean if her perception of me changes, it should be because she saw it first hand and not because she heard something.
I have to work tonight at Thin so if any of you guys feel like stopping by to say hello, feel free to cruise on through. I think Thin is right by Onyx. I'm not too familiar with the downtown area yet but I'm slowly learning.
Last night was one of the worst nights of sleep I've ever had. I went to bed at 6pm and for some reason my extremities were freezing. My hands and feet felt like they were gonna fall off but the rest of my body was so hot that I was sweating profusely. Because of this I was not able to sleep. I kept tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable. I woke up at 4am and the 10 hours I was in bed I probably only slept for a total of 1 hour.
I had this weird dream that I was a real estate agent and every time I tossed and turned I would be at a different location. I was probably at over 50 different location and I'm pretty sure I sold all the places I was at.
Right now I'm at work and I'm sweating up a storm. I can feel my back all wet and the beads of sweat trickling down my forehead. Every time I cough it feels like I'm gonna yack. It hurts. I thought about calling in sick but I'll save my sick time for when I really can't function. I just sit at a desk all day and it doesn't take much effort.
My arms and legs feel so hot that it almost feels like I'm sunburnt.
I feel better now that I've drank a half gallon of water, ate an orange, a banana, and a box of raisins. I also had a cup of hot tea and rubbed Vicks Vapor Rub all over my chest and neck and I also took some tylenol and took some multi-vitamins. I got a couple apples calling my name in like 30 mins.
Did I ever mention my mission of eating a piece of fruit every hour? It's pretty hard to do. I've been doing this since late Novemeber and it's hard to eat a regular meal now. I also drink at least a gallon of water throughout my work shift.
I should quarantine myself to living in a bubble cuz guess what? I'm sick AGAIN!!!! Yaye! NOT. This is like the 6th time I'm sick in the span of 3 months. I'm pretty sure it's due to my lack of sleep and me sweating when it's cold outside.
My chest hurts when I cough. And my abs also contract and squeeze and it feels like I'm trying to drop a deuce every time I cough. I've been on a sort of liquid diet for the past couple days cuz my throat hurts too. I have a bunch of soft stuff that I'm eating like oranges and bananas. My face feels really hot and I'm drinking hot tea.
We usually have our meetings for my other job on Wed. nights but I'm pretty sick and today is also my bro's b-day so I dunno if imma be able to make it tonight. I can do a conference call or I could have everyone come over to my place since my Mom will probably cook pancit today. I like that option better.
We had a meeting for my other job over in Otay ranch yesterday. We discussed business over at Chili's and then cruised through the mall and watched a movie after.
We watched Cloverfield last night and I wasn't feeling it all that much. The first few minutes had me already dizzy as shiite cuz of the camera all shaking and what not. After that, it was hard for me to watch it. There were a bunch of funny lines that the cameraman was tossin' out there so that kinda kept me into the movie. When I saw the cause of the destruction, I wasn't all that impressed either. I think when they had that trailer for it in Transformers, they shoulda kept it that way: no name, no details, no anything.
I also bought a few new books yesterday. I got Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk, the new book by Neil Strauss (the title will stay unmentioned), and Love Is A Mixtape by Rob Sheffield. That last book caught my eye and the title sounded interesting so I read the synopsis and it's about some guy trying to explain the memory of the love of his life through music of the times. It's like a eulogy through the songs popular during that moment in their life. I think it's a genius idea. When I hear songs I'll remember where I was at and who I was with and what emotions was going on through my head at that exact moment. I remember being with my high school crush and the song "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain being the current hit. I remember the mood it would put us into whenever that song came on. I remember being at my house and the two of us singing along to it. I actually saw my high school crush last Wednesday but we've drifted so far apart that we don't even acknowledge each other anymore. We used to be really close. We'd walk home from school together, we'd play guitar in my garage for hours, and just be stupid and act like little kids. I remember the exact moment where I lost all respect for her. I won't discuss it on here cuz that's between me and her. But yeah, back to the books. The current book I'm reading is called The Mystery Method by none other than Mystery. Y'all might think I'm weird for even having it but I'm not ashamed to say that I need all the help I can get.
My bro's b-day is tomorrow and I don't know what to get him. Everything I ask him he says he doesn't want. And then I ask him what he wants and he says he doesn't know.
I got randomly picked in a drawing by the Chargers ticket office that if we had made the SuperBowl I had access to buy 2 tickets. $700 a pop, only cash or cashiers check accepted. I would have jumped on that in a jiffy. What a shame.
She's trying to find things out about my past that I'd rather not discuss with her. I told her I didn't want her perception of me skewed because of what I did before. She knows me now and the type of person that I am now and my past is irrelevant, but she keeps prying. I don't know if I should give in and just let her know or if I should just keep trying to change the subject every time she brings it up. She keeps reassuring me that I don't have to be ashamed or afraid to tell her anything. I don't know what to make of this......
I woke up at 7 this morning. I'm usually at work by then. So by the time I clocked in it was already 8:15.
Jerry came over to my place with Zoua last night. She's pretty slammin'. I showed them some of my Vegas pix and now Zoua totally wants to go. And me and Jerry discussed some business for these coming weekends. We have a meeting again tonight in downtown. I thought this whole photography gig was all fun and games but it is very time consuming but well worth it. Did I mention I get paid now? Hahahaha. YES! So I go to clubs, take pix of people, and give them a card where they can find the pix. Go here to see some of my pix.
I doubt I'll be getting any sleep again tonight. My body hurts. I bet imma get sick again. It'll be the 5th time in like 3 months.
Tonight we leave for Vegas. Directly after work, we're goin' straight to the airport.
I'm friggin' tired right now. Last night I had a meeting for my other job. Meeting started around 9:30pm and we finished at almost 11. And after the meeting we made some rounds in downtown to make our presence known. We stopped by Confidential and passed through Red Circle and Belo and then made a quick little stop over at Heat. When we were talking to the doorman at Heat, I was taking a peek inside cuz it looked like there were a good number of people inside but I didn't see any ladies. And as we're talking to the doorman we see a couple guys step outside and start putting on some make-up and then we realized it was all guys inside the place so we just took off. After that we stopped by Croce's cuz they had some live jazz. After Croce's was when the most interesting part of the night happened. We're walking around downtown and then all of a sudden we hear this growl of pain behind us. There were 4 of us cruisin downtown last night and me, Punla, and Bitches turn around to see The Gentlemen hunched over in apparent pain. Let me take a few steps back now. We had our meeting over at Hooters and we had a few bites to eat. After we finished eating, someone asked what we should do next. I suggested we all take dumps before we leave. It got a good laugh but I got up and went to the bathroom. I came back and then we left. Ok, back to the growl of apparent pain. So The Gentlemen is hunched over and I asked him if he squirted a little. All he said was "We gotta stop somewhere." we spot a Ghirardelli's and he starts running across the street. We slowly follow him and we ordered some ice cream inside. The Gentlemen finished and came out to tell us that he almost didn't make it. The goods squeezed out before his cheeks made contact with the seat.we were cracking up so much that somehow I bit my lip and I was eating some Mint n' Chip ice cream, which is green, and then I started to see swirls of red everytime I licked it. The Gentlemen was all like, "Did you order Mint n' Chip with strawberries?" I bit my lip so hard I felt a chunk of skin missing.
Now I'm here at work, feeling the events from last night hitting me. When I gotta wake up at 4:30am. I'm usually in bed by midnight. Well, I wasn't even home yet at midnight. I probably went to sleep around 2:30ish and woke up at 5. And I doubt I'll be doing much sleeping in Vegas. Not good.
On a side note, Michelle knows something is up so I'm keeping my distance from her right now. She doesn't know exactly what I'm doing but she just knows something is up my sleeve. I'll get back to her in maybe 3 weeks or a month....or maybe longer. For those of you who DON'T know what I'm doing, don't worry cuz it's nothing bad. It's just an unconventional way of "moving up the ladder". And for those of you who DO know what I'm doing, I might have to bypass the "Supervisor" and go straight to the "Manager". This is for the good of the group.
So I have this gig on the 19th with my band playing at this Charity Event. It's a benefit for the Children's Hunger Fund being hosted by the church for Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. Pretty much every charity event or public service thing I do involves me playing music at the event. It's funny cuz people would recognize me and say "Hey, you did community service work with *insert name here*. I remember you." And I didn't actually do any kind of community service but I just played music to help them raise money.
It feels good when people enjoy the music I write. I mean, I write it for myself as a form of therapy but when it can lift someone else's spirits or make them feel better than they were feeling before or whatever, I think that right there is the real community service. It's all about giving someone a positive outlook on the future. If you can make someone believe, you can make someone succeed. And it's through music that I believe.
Did I mention that my bro got a new job? He now works for Nokia and he said they were gonna give him a phone and a laptop and his job is to do R&D on new phones. So all the latest and greatest phones, he gets to play with before they even come out. That's sweet. I was gonna buy a new phone but now I think I'll wait to see what he says and maybe he even gets discounts or comes up with free phones. I dunno, we'll just have to wait and see. Ha.
There was a scheduled photo shoot on Jan. 19 for my other job but that got postponed and now I have a gig with my band on that day. I got a call last night asking if I could do it. I had to make a few calls to see what the deal with the photo shoot was and that's how I found out it got postponed. I'm not even sure where this gig is and what time and all the details. They just asked if I wanted to play and I'm down. I'm excited. That just means we have to practice. We haven't practiced in a couple weeks, but we know our songs. The last few rehearsals we had we were writing new songs. So if you are free on Jan. 19 around 4pm, I have a gig. I'll post more details once I find them out.
I can't wait to see all the pix of Japan that Shanel took. She said there was this place in Harujuku that sells a bunch of clothes that I would wear. I bet they wouldn't have my size though. Hahahaha.
Being sick this time is totally worth it. Sitting/standing in the rain for 3 hours watching the Chargers win their first playoff game since 1995 was so much fun. I like the fact that 98% of the stadium was Chargers fans. I probably only saw like 30 Titans fans the whole time we were there. I might have saw the same ones twice. I really wish it was like this during the regular season cuz it would make things so much better. The whole playoffs atmosphere is a totally different beast.
Shanel is back from Japan. Yaye! I can hear hear from my seat but i haven't see her yet today. I'm jealous that she got to go on a trip and be away from work for 2 weeks.
I came in late and I'm gonna start coming in late for who knows how long. Some things I just have no control over and I just gotta roll with the punches.
My Mom told me we were gonna go to the Philippines this year in Oct/Nov. I haven't been there since 1998. It'll be fun. I'll get to see a bunch of cousins that were babies the last time I saw them.
We, as in me and Ramon and the fellas, were planning a Euro trip so we could go to Oktoberfest but I think that will have to wait for another time since imma be going back to the homeland this year. Too many trips = too little cash. This weekend is our trip to Vegas and it might be my last trip in a while. No Miami, no Cabo, no Europe.
It's really early in the year and I already feel a little burnt out. I need to let my body rest. I need to put myself in better situations. I got a lot on my mind but I'd like to talk to someone in person and not type it on here. I dunno. I should visit a doctor sometime soon...
I woke up this morning and I needed to spit out some loogies and I went to the sink to spit but there was not spit that came out with the loogie. It was just solid loogie. I guess I was that dehydrated from last night. I dunno, I'm guessing I only had 6 beers but that combined with the running and "physical activities" Andie and I did to sober up was probably what got me. Andie and I got to work at the same time this morning, only by chance, and I was telling her that my hamstring was sore and I didn't know why. I totally forgot some of the stuff we were doing. And she reminded me that we ran 5 laps and that could be the reason for my hamstring. I'm pretty sure it is. Hahahahahaha. Andie also woke up to find a 10 dollar bill stuffed in her bra and then she was all like, "WTF? Where did this come from?" And I had to remind her that when we payed, she was too lazy to go into her purse so she put her change in her bra.
Oh snap, I just remembered that I got the privilege to Tap The Keg last night. Our waiter told the manager that me and my group of peeps have been coming to Strauss for the past year now and it's about time one of us got the chance to tap the keg. It was pretty cool. I aint never tapped a keg before so I was stoked to do it.
I went to bed at 730pm and I woke up at 530am. My alarm went off at 430am, but I went back to sleep. I still have a little bit of a cough and I know if I get 6 hours of sleep per night for the next week the cough will be gone. At least I'm hoping it will be gone.
Tonight is another Strauss night and this time Scott is not going. Scott was kinda like the "originator" of Strauss night. I don't think any of us would know about it if it weren't for Scott. We were planning on doing a huge group of about 30 people to rent the back room but then Strauss threw in all these demands that we could not accommodate for. So I booked a separate reservation for about 15 people. And a few people that we had on the list booked their own reservation, so hopefully we'll just all be seated somewhere near each other.
Did I mention that I don't even like beer? I really don't like the taste of it. I dunno, it's just not my flavor. I just drink for the social aspect. It's weird if I'm with a girl and she's the only one drinking. It might come off as me just trying to get her drunk to take advantage of her. That is not the case, which is why I will drink a little bit. And I think the fact that I'm allergic to alcohol factors in to the equation. I like the hard stuff better cuz I will feel the effect of the alcohol before I feel the effect of the allergic reaction. Hahahahahaha. So what happens to me since I'm allergic? Basically, I just start to get itchy on certain parts of my body (chest and back) and I start sweating and I also turn purple. I've built up my tolerance to where the purple and itching part take longer to take effect but the sweating is uncontrollable. I also feel my heart start to pound a little faster. When I drink, it feels like I took a short jog around the block. That could also factor in the sweating part. When it feels like I just ran a mile, that's when I know I've had too much to drink and I should start pounding water ASAP. My heart will start racing and I'll get a little light headed. That's only happened a couple times so I'm good.
Shocker foam hands are in place for the Playoff game. It'll be awesome. Hopefully this will get us some TV time. Hahahahahaha.
I've been sleeping super late the past 4 days. So last night I didn't sleep til about 4am. It wasn't by choice, it more by habit. And when my alarm went off at 5:30am, I didn't want to get up. It felt like I had just closed my eyes like 10 minutes ago. I had a headache so I went back to sleep. I woke up at 6 and the headache was gone so I got ready for work.
New Years Eve was spent with the little cousins and we played Madden 08 all night. We started around 630-7ish and didn't finish playing until 1am. We almost missed the NYE countdown cuz we were in the middle of the championship game and it went into overtime. The champ was down 16 points in the 4th quarter and made a miraculous come back to send it to OT. And in OT, the champ got the ball first and scored. It was truly the game of the year.
On a side note, I have yet to win a game in Madden 08 against a serious competitor. I am 0-35 or something like that.
Oh yeah, Michelle has been playing mind games with me. I don't know if she reads this or not, but I'm pretty sure she has found it. She's found other stuff that I do or belong to me. Hi Michelle! I am NOT trying to get in your pants if that's what you're thinking. You are not an object to me. Respect. But I am an arsehole so I don't blame you for anything.
Staci finally sent some pix from 80's night at Channel One from a few months back. My shirts says: Metro League: Rock Paper Scissors Metro Champion 1982 1983 1984 1985. And everyone sang 80's songs on karaoke. I wanna throw another 80's party but with my friends this time. It was pretty fun with a bunch of people I didn't know that well. Imagine the madness if it was with my closest friends. That would be obese! Morbidly obese!
This is my nephew Taylor. I was playing the ukelele and he would not leave me alone. And he kept on trying to grab the uke from me so I just sat him down and let him give it a go. And then I started playing drums on my leg and he copied me. It was so funny. He had one hand just slapping his leg.
So Johnny and his crew G-Spot are gonna throwing Pitbull's after party on Apr. 4. Pitbull is definitely gonna bring the hunnies and after last night, we built up a good rep with G-Spot so we might be participating in this after party. So Sportsfest is a no go. And by the way, I love white girls. Especially ones that are freshly 21.
I played pool with Karmen last weekend. It was pretty fun. She was pretty faded and I wasn't so it wasn't really fair. Oh well. Before last Saturday, I didn't play pool in about a 2 or 3 years. And then on Sunday I played pool all day. I'm getting hooked again. And it doesn't help that my friend Richard got a pool table so we now have access to a table 24/7. Richard understands the game more than I do. I like it when we play each other cuz we're talking about the shots we're gonna do and the shots we've already made. It's like we're analyzing and learning as we play. I like to take more chances than Richard so I'm calling shots that he doesn't think is possible. Sometimes I make it and sometimes I don't. But after each shot, I know what to do next time around cuz we'll discuss what went wrong and what went right. When I say that Richard understands it more than me, I mean he knows all the terminology and the proper techniques. I'm pretty raw and I just go out there and do it. I'm starting to understand more cuz of him. That's what's good about playing with someone better than you. They bring you up to their level.
