The DerfJam Chronicles

So last night I got a friend request on Facebook from one of my friends parents. I thought it was the weirdest thing. I'm usually on my best behavior when I'm around parents and all the pictures I have posted on there aren't exactly parent friendly. I think it might be time to possibly delete my account or make it private. I dunno. We'll see. I spend too much time on it anyways. I need to be more productive instead of looking at other peoples pictures all day.

I almost failed on my first day. I went through the entire day not eating any kind of animal product. And then when I got home around 1130pm, I was hungry was as hell and I wanted to eat. So I looked through the cupboards and found some oatmeal. I picked the flavor that sounded the best and I started to make it. When it was done, I was savoring the smell. Mmmmm. Peaches and cream. And then as I was about to put the first spoonful in my mouth, I thought to myself that the cream smells soooooo damn good. And then I hesitated. What the hell is cream made out of? So I grabbed the box and read the ingredients. Product contains Milk and Soy!!!!!!!!!! Milk is an animal product. DAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! I came about 3 inches from failing miserably.

We just got featured on a few sites.....

http://www.radcollector.com/news/2009/02/25/9five-eyewear-spring-2009/


http://ctothejl.com/fashion/9five-eyewear-collection-summer-2009/


http://theskateboardmag.com/blogs/shad-lambert/

Our plan is to have some friends go to certain shops and ask for 9five glasses. Places like Surf Hut in Imperial Beach, Emerald City in Coronado, and Urban Nation in Chula Vista. Say something like "I saw this company called 9five and they make sunglasses. Those glasses are dope and I wanna buy some. I was wondering if you guys carried them?" So if you're reading this and you happen to visit any of those shops, please ask for 9five. We're trying to get them to carry our shades. And if anyone has a Willy's Workshop hookup, put in the word there too.

The Vegan Experiment begins today. And I am officially a dumbass. All the stuff I prepared last night.....I left it on the table this morning. Yeah. Dumbass.

It's a good thing I have a bunch of cucumbers and carrots and oranges at my desk. I also have a bag of potatoes in my ride. I'll be eating all that today.

My back is starting to feel a little better. I think I'll walk today. I just don't want to get out of the habit of exercising everyday cuz I know it'll be hard for me to get back in the groove of things.

My mind feels weak already, just knowing that I won't be eating any kind of animal product.

It was not a good idea to run yesterday. Not with my back pain. I didn't even come close to where I usually make it. I walked most of the way. I'm not gonna run today. I'm not gonna run until my back starts feelin' better.

So I'm on a meat binge today. It is Fat Tuesday.

It was either go vegetarian/vegan or give up pr0n. I think imma try goin' vegan. Those are two hard things for me to do but I think goin' vegan might be beneficial in what I'm trying to do with my life right now.

There's this girl I've been kickin' it with and talking to on a daily basis. I'm not really into her but we have fun and all, but last night she showed me pix of her Mom. And betcha by golly, WOW!!!! She looks alot like her Mom but the Mom is so much better in every aspect. In 3 or 4 more years, I can see her growing into becoming more like her Mom. If her Mom is a glimpse of the future, I might want to get with her now!!!! And she told me people just think that they're sisters. Her Mom does look very young. Actually, she is very young. Hahahahaha. Mid 30's.

I couldn't sleep last night. I had this shooting pain from my lower back into my left ass cheek that went down the entire back of my thigh. It felt like I got stabbed in the lower back and as the knife was inside me, someone dragged it down all the way to the back of my knee. I kept trying to massage it to try to make the pain go away but it was no use. I probably fell asleep at 4am. That was after I began to punch the back of the leg to get it go numb from pain. I woke up not feeling that much pain so hopefully it went away. I've felt this feeling before but it was never as bad as it was last night.

You all know that me and the doctor don't get along very well so I know what you're gonna say and I'm not going. I'm gonna fight this until I can't anymore...

I said yesterday I was gonna go out with this girl, but I was gonna visit her friend before I went and got her. I was just saying that and not thinking I would actually do it. It was a thought that crossed my mind. There are a lot of things I say and think but never actually do. This one wasn't one of them. But it almost didn't happen....

So here's how it went down: I told this girl I was getting home from work around 6:30ish and I'd just grab some stuff and head on out. I said I'd hit her up when I'm on my way. So I hit her up and she said she's not ready yet. So I asked her how much longer she needed cuz I was already driving and she said she still needed to do her hair and make-up, but she can do it real quick. So I said 30 minutes? I told her to do what she's gotta do and I was gonna go take care of something real quick and to hit me up when she's ready.

So I had a little time to kill and I was driving around. And I remembered about her friend. I didn't have her friends number though. The friend was supposed to go out with me but she had work(or so she said)....so I thought I'd drop by her work and visit her. So I got into the parking lot at her work and someone texted me. I thought it was the girl who I was taking out, maybe she's ready now. But it was from a number I didn't know. I open the message and it says "Hey, it's 'INSERT-NAME-HERE'." It's from the girl that I'm going to visit. And I'm in the parking lot of her work. WTF!?!?!?!?!?! So I text her back asking if she's at work. By this time, I'm opening the door to her work. I saw her sitting there on her phone and there were a few customers around. She didn't notice me at first since she was still looking at her phone but when I got closer she jumped out of her seat and yelled my name. She had this look of shock on her face. Hahahahaha. And she says "That was quick!!!!!!!!" (That's what she said. Hahahahahaha) So we're chattin' it up and she's totally ignoring all the customers. Hahahahaha. I would have stayed with her longer but the girl I was gonna take out hit me up and said she was ready.

So I went and got this girl. We went to a good spot and had a good time laughing and chatting and doing whatever. We went out to eat after and I told her a lot of things I probably shouldn't have. And the whole time I was bumpin' slow jams in my ride. Planting seeds. Hahahahahaha. Maybe I'll see her again tonight.

I woke up feelin' like major crap this morning. I don't think I can hold down any food. I felt like yacking but I didn't even have anything to yack up. I have no desire to eat right now. My stomach just feels weird. My throat feels weird too. I'm just trying to drink alot of water so whatever is in my system will get flushed out. Damn me.


I had an agenda with someone tonight. We'll see if it still goes down. She seems excited for what we're gonna do. More excited than me. I'm actually kinda nervous. I dunno why. I'm more into her friend than I am into her. I didn't tell her but I was planning on visiting her friend before we do our thing. Jerk status.

It was raining the past few days and I usually go running on my lunch breaks. Since it was raining, I didn't bother running cuz I'm already sick and I don't wanna get even sicker. So I've been going to the stairwell and playing guitar. Now that it's not raining, I still wanna play guitar. I'm getting back into the groove of playing. I haven't played in a long while and I miss it. I just neglected it and now that I'm back, I don't wanna leave. It's kind of like running into an ex and remembering the good times you shared. Playing music just makes me happy. And running is a pain. I hate running! With a passion! Damn! But music, it's so beautiful.

But I will run today. I need to. It's not a "want", but more of a "need". Music is a "want". And you don't "need" everything you "want".


After work today, I'm gonna stop by Balboa Park to go hunting for sweet spots to shoot at. I want to practice my craft more. I want to get better. Who wants to be my model?

Man, I totally needed to fart at work today...so I just let it out. It was silent.....but then after a couple seconds, it started to really stink. Oh man. It was pretty bad. I was all afraid of what my coworkers would think so I had to act quickly to try to cover up the smell. The first thing in my line of site was a bag of oranges. And guess what? I started to peel one open. The smell of oranges is very overwhelming. And it did the trick. Thank goodness for oranges. Hahahahahaha.

So for some reason the other day, I decided to watch this video that pointed all the cons of pr0n. Why it's degrading to women. I wanted to see their perspective on why they hated pr0n so much and what could be so degrading. After all, these women chose to be in the movies. It was their choice.

As you all know, I love me some pr0n. I watch it on a weekly basis. And sometimes when I'm feelin' extra lonely, on a nightly basis. Well, this video was a 4 part series and it had former pr0n stars, glorified sluts, and a current pr0n star. They interviewed all of them and it was pretty fascinating to hear their perspectives. It kinda changed my mind on pr0n. Now, I'm not gonna stop watching it....but I am aware of the darker side of pr0n. Imma stick to the lighter side. It's still entertaining.

I'm kinda glad I didn't really tell anyone what I was gonna do for Valentines. Cuz if I did, I'd have to be explaining to everyone why it didn't happen. The story of my life.

I guess you can all it a raincheck. I wasn't expecting her to go out in the first place so I'm not too disappointed. I wasn't even expecting myself to ask her. The thought came across my head the night before and the next day we happened to be shootin' the shiite and I thought to myself "Ask her if she wants an Anti-Valentines date? Something where we could do stuff that a couple would NOT do on a day like this. And something that would be destructive and fun (and legal) at the same time." I just didn't want to be alone on this day.

Now, I told you I wasn't really into this girl. It's more like a "kick it" buddy where we can just do random shiite and have fun. This is probably more of someone who can help me realize what I want. Cuz I'll tell her shiite about girls and myself or whatever and she'll tell me I'm being ridiculous. So don't get it twisted. It's like a dude with a girl's perspective.

So later on that night I ended up going to downtown with the "Stripper Twins", "Roel", and "Barry". It was kind of a lame night until the end. All the girls that were out were drunk out of their damn minds. Stumblin', dancing like crazy whores, and just being sloppy. Not good. Or real good, depending on what you're after. Hahahahaha. But we hit up a few spots and scoped out the scene and we ran into my mortal enemy, aka The Vamp, and he totally pretended like I wasn't around. Crazy tranny lover. Hahahahaha. I'm thinking I should be the mature one and squash all the beef, but it's kinda fun knowing that someone hates my guts so much to the point that they're watching my every move. I wanna live it up a little bit longer and then if we ever have to do business with one another, I'll squash it. But yeah, we ended the night at Subway for a 5........5 dollar.......5 dollar foot loooooooong! Hahahahaha. Drunken madness when ordering a damn footlong. I can't even explain what we were doing but we were messing with the sandwich artists asking them to make ridiculous sandwiches. It was one of those "you had to be there" moments. And I wasn't even drunk. And might I add that was my first time at Subway. Hahahahahahaha.

Oh yeah, on Saturday I got my rims back and I washed my truck and now it's raining. My prophecy comes true once again. You can't lose with 22's.

I'm excited that the sunglasses company that I work for has it's very 1st buyer!!!!! Some skate shop in New Jersey placed an order with us. Exciting times.

We haven't received our full stock yet. All we have so far are the prototypes but we've been getting a lot of good responses from people. Can't wait to get this shiite rollin'......

So I kinda have a Valentines date....or I should say Anti-Valentines date. I found someone who hates this day as much as I do. Or not really hate, but feel like it's cliche'. It's not really set in stone yet, but I unveiled my plan to her and she seemed excited for it. I guess you can say it's what you would do if you hated the world, but in a controlled sense. I'll tell you all what it is after it happens, if it happens.

Now, I'm not really attracted to this girl, in the physical sense. If there was a big crowd of girls, she is not one that would stand out to me. But I have a lot of fun when I'm with her. And that's what matters. I'm just lookin' to have a good time and I know when I'm around her, the good times will be there. I'm not saying I want to be with this girl, cuz I'm not sure if I'm ready for anything like that. And I'm pretty damn sure she doesn't wanna be with me, but I know she enjoys every second of madness when we're going berzerk around each other. Another thing is I hardly know anything about her. I've been around her and I talk to her and I know how she'll react to certain things but I don't actually "know her" know her, if that makes any sense. So all I'm expecting is fun times and that's it.

Earlier tonight I saw some crazy shit happening. This was probably around 7pm or so. I went out with my Dad to buy some food and on our way home there were 3 objects in the sky. It looked like fireballs or a meteor or something. All 3 were traveling at a pretty good speed. I was driving so I couldn't really get a good look to see what it was. But it looked like they were traveling straight down. And then all of a sudden, all three of them looked like it started coming towards us. But then one of them disappeared. When we turned the corner, I lost track of all 3 of them or they might have disappeared all together. And when I finally got to my house. I heard all the choppers in the sky. I normally hear a helicopter here and there but this time it sounded like there were a grip of them. And the strange thing was that I saw maybe 8 cop cars in a span of 15 minutes all in my neighborhood. And it seemed like they were stopping every person that was walking. Every street we passed had a cop car. It gave me a really weird feeling. I should watch the news if there's anything behind theses fireballs in the sky.

My lady best friend hit me up this morning saying she needed to get 5 vaccination shots. I was all like, what's the big deal? And then she told me her number one fear was NEEDLES!!!!!! I knew she was afraid of alot of things but I didn't what her biggest fear was. Some best friend I am, huh? So I was telling her things like sing "I Will Survivie" or imagine me in my leopard print speedo. Hahahahaha. I was just trying to cheer her up. So the idea of getting faded crossed my mind, which I told her to do. But I guess she was already in the nurses office, so that idea was a no go. Hahahahahaha.

She hit me up again after the shots saying she was alive!!!!! It hurt like hell but she was alive. So I said let's go celebrate. Party time! But she said her trip to the doctors wasn't done yet. She still had to poo in a cup!!!!!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! And my next question to her was, is there gonna be another chick with you? And she was all like, you mean to catch the poop for me? And I was like, yeah.....with her mouth!!!!!!!!! 2 chicks 1 cup!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahaha. Yeah, I'm a horrible best friend.

Right now, I'm waiting to hear the results about pooing in a cup.....

This weekend was another crazy one. Let's just say I went to a friend's house for some regular activities but some underage girls showed up and turned the place into a madhouse. Beer pong, karaoke, random photos being taken all night, ass grabbing, lapdances, sharing body warmth in the rain, etc. It was good times. Oh how I wish to be 18 again. Hahahahahaha.

And just to set the record straight, I didn't do anything with any of them. I swear. Hahahahaha.

Last night we were at Dave and Busters to celebrate Ramon's b-day. I haven't been there in a long ass time. Hahahaha. It was pretty fun. Ran into some familiar faces. After all, it was Thursday, which I guess is Asian night there.

I happened to invite one of our co-workers there. One time we were kickin' it and she told me that no one from work ever invites her out. And she always has get-togethers and invites everyone all the time. So I make it a point to invite her every single time. But I felt bad last night cuz unbeknown to me, my "cousin" hit me up and wanted to party in San Diego. And she happens to be 18 and she knows I work at a bunch of 18+ events. So she wanted to be where I was at. And here comes my dilemma. Co-worker or "cousin" in town? I chose the "cousin" cuz she brought two 18 yr olds with her as well and I don't see her that much. I see my co-worker everyday. I just felt bad cuz my co-worker was probably just sittin' down by herself all night. I hardly saw her. And she got mad when I left cuz I couldn't find her and I just took off without saying bye. So she texted me and I drove back to DnB so I could properly say bye. She looked pretty smashed when I left. Hahahahaha.

The big 18! Now you're legal. And what do you know? We got an 18+ event at College Rocks this Friday. Hahahahaha.

On another note, maybe it wasn't a good idea for me to run yesterday. For some reason I was sore as shiite. The past few days have been rough. My calves felt like they were gonna explode and my hamstrings were tighter than a virgin's ass hole (hence, the facebook name). And I paid the price when I was bowling last night. Tuesday nights are league nights. Yeah, I couldn't get a good push and my footing was all awkward. And did I mention every throw was painful? Yeah, but I had a decent game regardless of the pain. I bowled a 181, 150, and a 192. There were a bunch of spares that I should have picked up but didn't have the power to properly place the ball how I wanted.

I think the only reason I'm sore is cuz I feel like I'm getting sick. I've been coughing like crazy and I feel like imma lose my voice. My body just has too much work to do and it can't keep up.

Last night I found out I had a stalker. She had been secretly been reading my blog(s) and keeping up with me and even knowing where I'd be. She messaged me yesterday saying she saw me at Church on Sunday and wanted to say hi. So I was intrigued by this cuz I didn't see her and I have a wandering eye at Church. Hahahaha. So we got to talking and shootin' shiite and all that jazz and she mentioned all this stuff that I never told her about. And I asked her how she knew and the confession came out. Hahahahaha. It's ok, I like her (in a non-sexual way....but it might be a different story if I was faded). So I don't mind that she was stalking me. Maybe I'll see her this weekend? Cuz I know she knows where I'm gonna be.....

Hello stalker. ;)

I wasn't drunk. I don't think I've had a drink ever since before X-mas and I'm gonna keep it up. It's just not part of my plan to get to where I need to be. But yeah, this past Saturday was an awesome adventure. Hahahahaha.

Let's just start where the madness begins. So one of my friends, let's call him "Roel", was at his cousin's wife's b-day bash. And they're like in their 30's and married and what not. So he's over there but we get invited to our friend "Jong's" place. "Roel" is at this party, and he already told "Chong" that he would show up at his place not knowing that this 30+ yr old party would be off the hook. So on my way to pick up "Roel", he was having 2nd thoughts about going to "Chong's" cuz he was putting the moves on 1 of the 3 single ladies in the whole place. He said there was a cute one, a hot one, and the "eh, whatever" one. So naturally, he went for the cute one. And he's already on a good one.

So after a debate, he decides to be a man of his word and leave the party and head with me and "Dustin" to go to "Chong's". He's kicking himself cuz this girl was desperate and telling him how they're getting old and no one wants to get with her. Single girls in their 30's get like this. I told him we could stop by that party again cuz I'll take one of the other 2 remaining single ladies and I know "Dustin" will handle the last remaining one.

Now we're at "Chong's" place and "Chong" is a drinker. He has a giant ass bottle of Jack waiting for us. It's a good thing I don't drink anymore. Hahahahaha. So these guys ended up taking shots all night. We got there around 10pm and didn't leave til maybe 3am. That's a lot of alcohol they drank. And pretty much we were on a webcam teleconference with all the people who couldn't make it. So we had different people web chatting with us while we all drank and sang songs and what not. And there was mad shit talking. And at one point "Roel" and Chong" decided to arm wrestle but there was no table around. So they set up shop on the floor and proceeded to arm wrestle. It was a sight to see 2 grown ass men laying on their bellies arm wrestling. Hahahahahahah. And "Jey" taught me this song called Slow Jam by Usher. It's a panty dropper.

But at the end of the night "Roel" was already on a good one from his 30+ yr old party and then all the shots from "Jong's" just sent him overboard. When I saw he couldn't stand on his own anymore I decided it was time for us to leave. So we're driving home around 3am and the 15 south is closed so we're takin' the side streets to hop onto the 163. But "Roel" tells me he's about to yack so I pull over. And when the car stops, he opens the doors and falls out. Literally. All I heard was 2 loud thuds. I think he landed on his shoulder/back first and then his legs followed. And he's groaning in pain so we jump out of the car and try to help him. "Dustin" was trying to pick him up but "Roel" kept complaining that his back was in so much pain. So we left him laying on the ground on the side of the road for a few minutes and then tried to help him up again. "Dustin" picked him up from the front and I slid in behind him to support his back. And as I'm picking him up, "Roel" let's out this mean fart, which I felt on my leg. Damn him. Hahahahahaha. So we're all laughing and we start to Jesus carry him to the side so he could yack but he started to make the dry heaving motions so we bailed cuz he might get it on us. He yacked alot. And when I saw him come up, he had chunks of yack on his face. Hahahahaha. It's a good thing I carry baby wipes in my ride. You just never know when you need to clean up. Hahahahaha.

So we're on our way back now and this one chick "Karen" hits up "Roel". It's like 3 am. So this mean BOOTY CALL!!!! "Roel is faded out of his damn mind and we can hear everything he's saying. It wasn't good. So "Dustin" grabs the phone and convinces this girl to meet up with us. This girl is crazy. She decided to meet up with us. Can anyone say CHOO CHOO? Hahahahahaha.

We ended up meeting at Denny's in Mission. We were talking to "Karen" for a while and "Roel" was pretty much passed out in my ride. "Karen" was making fun of "Roel" and I guess he heard it so he hopped out of my ride and jumped into hers. He then proceeded to sleep again, while "Dustin" and I were talking to this chick. Denny's was scary so we ended up going to Jack in the Box. So we're talking in the parking lot of JITB and "Roel" was snoring in the car. "Karen" decided to take some pix of his ass asleep. It was gettin' late and "Dustin" had work at 8am so we told "Karen" we were gonna bounce and I'd pick up "Roel" from her place tomorrow morning. She was trippin' cuz she didn't want to be responsible for a drunk ass person. Hahahahaha. But I told he's in your ride. When he was in mine, he was my responsibility. Now he's in yours. Good luck. And right as I said that, "Roel" gave a smirk in his fake sleep and we took off hoping he would capitalize on the situation he was in. All alone with a girl and both of them are drunk....