Last night in bowling league was pretty wild. I was actually bowling pretty good. I was in the 190's and with my handicap I was in the 230's. But the shot of the night came when I thought that I messed up big time. I was throwing my ball in the same spot but for one throw my ball hooked more than I wanted and I left the Big 4 up. The Big 4 is the 4-6-7-10 split. I have never seen anyone convert this. So I thought I had no chance and I just chucked the ball really hard hoping for the best. As soon as the ball started getting close to the pins I could see that if I hit the first pin in the right spot it could roll over and hit the pins on the opposite side. But my ball hooks so I didn't think it'd go where I thought it would. But low and behold, my ball stayed true and hit it in the right spot and I converted the Big 4. The place went wild. Everyone started cheering and even people from the other teams came over to congratulate me. I just stood there in silence with my hand covering my mouth. I was in shock.
But yeah....here's the only recorded conversion of the Big 4. He did his a little different than mine.
It was an awesome wedding. It's probably the best one I've been to. It got me really excited for whoever is gonna get married next amongst my friends. And I don't really like weddings. But this one opened up my eyes...
I'm starting to come around to my senses again. I think what I'm eating affects my moods. Deprived of meat = not happy. I ate some fried chicken last night, and I've been staying away from fried foods in general, but it felt good to cheat. No wonder there are so many cheaters in this world. Cheating gets you there faster. Hahahahaha.
But yeah, I feel better about things and I can smile for reals.
For the first time in my life, I felt the joys that a woman feels when they go shopping. I've been kinda down on myself for unspecified reasons but I went shopping yesterday for new clothes and it made me feel better. I bought some new pants since my old ones were getting big. I used to wear size 40 but yesterday I bought size 36's. It felt good. It actually made my day. I was gonna buy 38's but on a whim I decided to try on some 36's and they actually fit. I was genuinely surprised. I only planned on buying new pants but I was so happy that I decided to buy new shirts, new underwear, new socks, and a new watch. Hahahahaha. I spent a grip. I also bought my Mom this gold Guess watch. She loved it and kept showing it off to everyone. Her b-day is coming up and I didn't get her anything for this past Mother's Day so I thought I'd get her an early B-day present/late Mother's day gift.
I hate doing damage control. No less than an hour ago, I found out some disturbing news. A close friend of mine totally disrespected another close friend of mine in the worst possible way. At one point they were very close, but now one of them doesn't trust the other. And it sucks cuz I hang out with both of them. And occasionally we all hang out together. Now I have to do damage control. Why can't some people control their alcohol? Damn.
There are two things you can never do. You don't mess with a man's food and you don't mess with a man's girl....regardless of how drunk you are. Respect.
A million miles I've walked on these feet, these tired feet of mine. A million times I've wanted to give up and just stop walking. A million thoughts kept telling me to never quit cuz someday I'd find what I'm searching for. But that someday seems like a million years away.
A million choices and not one belongs to me. A million chances and I've blown every single one. A million lessons to be learned but there's still a million regrets I need to get over. A million reasons but I've got a million excuses.
We finished the slideshow for Ramon's wedding a few hours ago. I think we did a decent job based on the time constraint. I would say we worked on it for 4, maybe 5 hours. I wish I was informed of it ahead of time so that way I could have added special effects and what not. I just hope they appreciate the effort put into it.
While working on this slideshow, I got to thinking......I wish I had friends like me. Not to sound conceited or anything but I feel like I do alot for my friends. Like, I'll get season tickets for us and pay for everything up front and just have them pay me when they can. I think that's a pretty big gesture. Now, the least they could do is offer to drive to games without me having to ask them. I feel like I'm forcing them to drive. I know I have a big truck and all but it's not like we have all that much stuff to bring. I wish they would see what I'm doing and maybe make things easier on me by at least offering to drive sometimes instead of me having to ask them.
I dunno, maybe I'm just rambling. But this whole wedding thing is making me emotional. I got alot of my mind. Alot of things I'm not willing to tell people. I don't know if anyone would understand where I'm coming from. It doesn't make sense to me as to why I feel this way. I'm happy for my best friend. In a week, he'll be married to a great girl. But at the same time I'm depressed. I wear a smile but if you took the time to look into my eyes, you'd know something is wrong.....
The other day at work, I got a call from a lady friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while. I was in the middle of alot of work so I declined her call. A minute later I get the voice message beep. Usually she doesn't leave voice messages so I thought it might be important. So I check the voice message and all I hear are moans of pleasure. Moaning for a good minute. Hahahahahaha. Either she's sending me a message that she wants some......or she was in the middle of getting some and she accidentally called me.
Last night I finally got a full night of sleep. Who knew it would do so much wonders? I've had back pain since last Friday and today is the first day it actually feels better. It's been getting worse everyday but now I'm on the road to recovery. I'm also not coughing that much anymore. I was coughing like crazy the past couple days and today I feel good. Maybe tonight I can get a full night of sleep as well? Hahahaha.
I was supposed to work on some slideshow last night but I went to sleep instead. I'll out it together real quick today and have some people review it and see if they wanna take stuff out or add stuff in. And tomorrow will be the last day I touch it since the deadline to turn it in is on Friday. If the slideshow sucks....oh well. It's better than nothing.
I was thinking of not going out to the clubs this week since my back has been hurting. But now that I'm feeling better, I'm reconsidering. But I'm also supposed to go hang out with this chick I met on a cruise a few weeks back. I bailed on her twice already and I don't wanna bail on her again. She's been real sweet and understanding of what I've been going through with my Grandma and me working double time. She works two jobs also, so she knows what it's like.
I also had this crazy ass dream last night. I was at a friend's place and his wife calls me into the room all panicking and going berzerk. And I see my friend is dying. So we call for help and they try to revive him but it's too late. So as they take my friend away, I'm consoling his wife and all but things started to get intimate. It was the only thing that I could do that would make her feel better. So I'm takin' her to town and doing everything she wants me to do. I'm havin' a blast. And then I woke up....at 100%. Hahahaha. I will also note that I haven't beat off or had any kind of action in a while. So this is my body telling me that I need to release. Hahahahahah. Oh yeah, I don't know who the people were in my dream. I can't remember their faces....
My back has been hurting since Friday night. Theres a couple things that might be the culprit of my pain. 1: Drea riding me. (It's not as dirty as it sounds. Honestly.) 2: Moving some couches. I woke up Saturday morning in pain. It even hurts when I cough. It literally feels like someone punched me right on the spine. The pain is right between my shoulder blades. If I push my chest out, there's a sharp pain in the middle of my back. If I'm still in pain at the end of the week....I might have to consider going to a doctor. And y'all know my beef with doctors.
If there's ever a reason that you invite me out and I don't show up without a call or any notice, it's because I'm with my Lola. I don't want to leave her home alone. I wanna make sure someone is home with her at all times cuz I don't want her being stuck and not to have anyone there to help her. It's a pain to have to do every little thing for her, but it's a pain I'm glad to endure. It's teaching me to become a better person, to not be so self absorbed. I've never had to put someone else's needs before mine. I get frustrated at times because she rejects my help, but I see her struggling so bad. I know she wants to do it on her own and she doesn't like being waited on hand and foot but her body can't function the way her mind wants it to.
I always wanted to live a long life but seeing someone live with unbearable pain scares me.
I miss these talks at night. Just opening up and not being afraid. Sharing our goals, our thoughts, our stupid tendencies. It made me feel....whole. I learned a lot about myself. The people close to you seem to know more about you than you do about yourself.
The other day I saw this 18-wheeler do this u-turn at the stop light. I think it was me, Jerry, Joel and Ryan sittin' in the car at the stop light on Telegraph by the 805 and we were thinking that this fool is crazy for even attempting to do that. But he pulled it off successfully and I was highly impressed. It's hard enough to bust a u-turn in my truck. I can't imagine having to do that in an 18-wheeler.
I've been sick for maybe 3 or 4 weeks now and I'm starting to feel better. Yeah, I should went to the doctor right when I got sick but y'all don't know the beef I got with them. Whenever I go get checked up, it always ends up being up a lecture on how much overweight I am and then they give me pamphlets on dieting and weight loss. I went to the doctor to get check up on my cough, not cuz I'm fat. So now I never go to the doctor cuz I'm tired of hearing it. Yeah, I'm aware that I'm overweight but I'm not mentally strong enough to do anything about it. I'm also very sensitive about the issue. So yeah, that's why I never go.
This past weekend, I drank for the first time in a long time. Like, really drank. I wasn't even planning on drinking but for some reason I just decided to go with it. And I'm glad I did. It felt good. I think the only reason I decided to drink was cuz I knew everyone there. I didn't need to have my guard up. The last time I drank was 4th of July at the magazine's launch party. I got kinda faded and this beast was giving me the eye. She hanging around the group of friends we were with so I thought she was with our crew. So when she came up to me to talk to me, I didn't really think twice about it. But yeah, I give her props for saying all the right things and making me feel comfortable. She had her game down pat. I didn't even realize what was happening...until it was too late. And you all know that I don't kiss people on the lips. I think it's more intimate that sex. But let's just say she pulled me in and I couldn't stop it.
Last night I tried Moonshine for the very first time. And I will mention that I haven't had any alcohol in a couple months. The last time I really drank was on the 4th of July. I've literally had a sip here and there (when a girl would ask me to taste their drink) but that's about it. Moonshine is no joke. It gave me a headache with the quickness. I only took maybe a teaspoon of it. Maybe when I'm done with this Food Project, I'll start drinkin' it up again and I'll take another stab at Moonshine.
My Lola is finally home from the hospital. She still can't walk but I'm sure she's happy to be home. It's kinda scary though cuz we all work and we can't attend to her 24/7 like at the hospital.
The reason we made her go to the hospital was cuz she was stuck in the bathroom for like 8-9 hours. Last week my Mom and bro left for work around 830am and my Lola was eating breakfast. Apparently she went to the bathroom shortly after that but her legs and feet gave out. She couldn't walk or move. My bro came home from work around 530-545pm and found her in the bathroom.
