The DerfJam Chronicles

Bowling is quickly becoming one of my favorite sports. I love basketball, football, and ping pong but right now bowling is edging for that top spot. The fact that I'm getting good makes things more enjoyable. Before when I sucked I hated it cuz everyone was better than me. Now I'm runnin' with the big boys and havin' a blast. I'm ultra competitive so if I'm not doing good, then I'm not having a good time.

Yesterday was my Lola's B-day. She had to spend her B-day in the hospital. She's been in there since last Thursday. For the past 2 weeks she was in pretty bad shape. She was struggling. My Mom had to force her to go to the hospital. She didn't even want to go. I guess that's where I get it from cuz I hate going to the doctor until it gets really bad. But yeah, I hope and pray that she gets better. When we visited her she looked to be in better shape and in better spirits.

So last night I decided to go out. I took a nap after I got home from work and woke up feeling better than I did during the day. But yeah, our friend decided to bring his girl to the club. He was kickin' it with the fellas so I ended up dancing with his girl. We were dancning and talking and I don't really remember exactly what I said to her but somethin' went down.

She said something about looking all faded and I reassured her that she looked perfectly fine. I told her she was lookin' good. And I guess it made her feel good. So she decided to give me a kiss on the cheek but I didn't know she was gonna do it. I had my ear turned towards her mouth so I could hear her better. But I turned my head right as she went to give me a kiss. Of course she missed my cheek and her lips came VERY close to making contact with mine. And I told her "Whoa, that was close to the lips there! Your boy might be watching and think something different." And then she says "Don't worry he's not looking." And I turn around and survey the area and notice him far away with the fellas yuckin' it up. So I turn to her and say "If he ain't lookin' then why didn't you just go for the lips?" So without hesitation, she plants one on me. I know I'm a jerk for planting that seed but I didn't think she would do it. I figured she would say "It was an accident. I wasn't aiming for the lips." Oh well, I don't feel guilty. Hahahahaha.

I woke up last night because I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was underwater grasping and fighting for air. I was losing in this fight.

I went to bed at 10pm and woke up from my coughing fit thinking it was already 6am. I got up and looked at the clock and noticed that it was only 12:12am. All the coughing had made my temperature rise and I was sweating. My lungs felt like they were on fire and my throat hurt from all the coughing.

I dunno if it's a good idea for me to be going out tonight....

Last night I tried sleeping with a shirt on. It was tough. It felt like trying to run while wearing a backpack. It was just excess baggage. But I did sleep with a blanket again.

It's still hard for me to breathe. It feels like I have fluid in my lungs. I take a deep breathe and it's not as deep as I want it to be. I can only fill half my lungs before it starts to feel full or I'll just end up coughing. It's almost like the feeling where you're drinking something and it ends up going down the wrong pipe....that's the feeling I've had for the past week.

Last night I slept with a blanket for the first time in about 4 months. I wasn't cold or anything but I dunno. I went to sleep without a blanket but I kept waking up. It was hard to breathe and I dunno, I felt like the blanket would do me good for some reason. My body temp fluctuates from really hot to really cold. I get hot and then I start sweating and the I'm drenched with sweat which makes me feel cold. The blanket kept my body temp relatively even. I think tonight I might sleep with a blanket again. We'll see.

She's a different type of girl. One that excites me because of the things she doesn't do. It might be because she's a little bit older and knows what she wants. But nonetheless, her drive and ambition far exceed any girl I've ever met. And yet I hardly know her. I've talked to her a lot for the past two or three weeks. And it's not always me initiating the conversations. So she's taking control and I like it. But she also backs off and I like that. She's doing the right amount of push and pull and it's pulling me in further, closer to her.

I came to work at 5:30 this morning. I have to take my grandma to the doctor this afternoon. But on the drive here this morning, I kinda zoned out for a few seconds. It was like the deer in the headlights thing. My eyes were fully open but for some reason I was non-responsive. I didn't snap back to reality until my tires started hitting the reflectors in between the lanes. I wasn't sleepy or anything. I just straight up zoned out. It happens alot when I'm bored or thinking deeply about something.

I think I'm getting sick. For the past week I've woken up with flem. But after I hock up all the flem I feel fine.

I was supposed to do a photo session with Esther last night. I texted her in the middle of the day to change the location in order to make things easier for her. By the end of my work shift, I didn't get a reply from her yet so I tried calling her. No answer. So I figured she was busy and I decided to go to the original location to just shoot around for a bit. But she called me when I was on my way to the original location asking where I was at. It kinda upset me that she went to the changed location without giving me any confirmation/indication that she would go there. Oh well, life goes on.

I have a photo shoot with Katie this Friday. I think she is so slammin'. Her body isn't perfect but the way she carries herself makes me think it is. She's got this air of confidence that can make me believe in anything she says or does.