The DerfJam Chronicles

It's been etched into my brain and I can't get the images/feelings out. It's the curse of a good memory. I can't stop thinking about that night and how good it felt. For a moment, I actually felt loved. I don't know what it's like to be loved but I imagine it feels like that. I guess this is what they call the forbidden fruit. I got a taste and now I want more.

It's not necessarily her that I want. It's the feelings that I felt which is driving me mad. I know I always say that the last time was the best time, maybe cuz it's the most recent and I can remember it better, but this one tops it all. The other times I knew what was gonna happen. I was mentally prepared for what was to come. But this time, everything was a total surprise. That's what made it so exhilarating. And now I'm a sucker.....

I always thought I was waaaaay out of shape. But I guess I was wrong. This weekend I played football with my cousins and this is probably the first time I ran full speed in about 5 months. But I was playing receiver and DB and I had to cover one of my cousins who is about 130lbs. I'm about 250lbs so when you look at us, you see that there is a mismatch and the 130lb. guy will have the speed advantage. But that's not always the case. My other cousins were saying that how can someone almost twice your weight be faster than you? They were totally ripping on my 130 lb. cousin. I was huffin' and puffin' more than he was but still, I was amazed that I could actually keep up with him. I know he thought I was slow which is why he probably thought he could take it easy. Even if he wasn't going all out on me, it made me feel good to just be out there and being active and not sit on ass all day.

Visit www.culturebullets.com for more frequent updates.

The activities happened on Thursday night. She texted me Friday morning, since she didn't come to work. And she texted me again in the afternoon. Both times I thought she wanted to talk about what went on between us, and where we stand. Both times I was wrong. Or so I thought.

She finally hit me up again around 3am last night/this morning and we had a lengthy discussion of what went down. She was saying that it was bothering her the whole day on Friday. I don't blame her. It would probably bother me too if I was in her shoes. I don't know how people who cheat on their significant others can live with themselves. But yeah, we talked it out and it wasn't like it was planned. It was a spur of the moment kind of activity. Things like that happen when people are drunk. And so now she's taking a break from drinking.

And we're still on good terms. I actually think we're closer now. That sexual tension is gone and we can just be comfortable.

Visit www.culturebullets.com for more frequent updates.

I dunno if I should feel guilty or not but I did for a little while last night. Up until the point where my lips met hers. In my mind was the fact that she was engaged to some other man but at that very moment she laying in bed next to me, not him. We were laying face to face, with her head gently resting on my arm. We were smiling at each other and not a word was spoken. I started to pull my face closer to hers and she closed her eyes. Our lips met and all the guilty feelings went away in the heat of the moment. It was intimate, passionate, and exhilarating. I went from 6 to 12 instantly. Tongues darting in and out, back and forth, and hands roaming freely. I rolled onto my back and she gracefully mounted me. I don't think our lips ever separated.

3 hours later when I got home, the taste of alcohol still lingered on my tongue. Keep in mind that I barely drank anything that night. This flavor was all from her mouth.

I no longer feel guilty about the fact that she's engaged. It was a night of passion that she was probably yearning for. Her man is on the other side of the world right now, and a girl has her needs. The only thing I do feel a little quirky about is how she's gonna react the next time I see her, at WORK......