The DerfJam Chronicles

For the past 3 days I've been blowing blood out of my nose and spitting out bloody flem. Not a good sign. I am feeling better today though, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Imma be goin' out tonight and I have a feeling that this will not help me recover. I doubt I'll do any drinking but I'll still be outside the comforts of my home and I won't be resting.

I was supposed to take Andie out tonight but she has some viral infection and she's pretty messed up. She can't even talk. When I saw her yesterday she looked like a zombie who could barely keep her eyes open. She whispered to me that the medications she was taking was going into full effect. I should gave given her a beer to enhance the effect. Hahahahahaha.

Andie really knows how to dress. All her outfits are really cute and I kinda wanna take her shopping with me so she can help me pick out some nice clothes. I dress like a bum everyday, but I aint really tryin' to impress nobody so it don't really matter. But it does feel good when I dress nice and people compliment me. I guess I have to dress nice only once in a while for that effect to keep it's meaning.

My website is pretty much done in the design phase. Now all I gotta do is add content. Peep it here

The drive to and from work is so pleasant during this time of the year. What would normally take me an hour now takes me 35-45 mins. I love it.

I've been working on my website now for a week and it should be up but I'm having some trouble getting my scripts to work. I mean, I'm not doing anything complicated but I'm just not that good at this whole web design thing. I've probably spent 20 hours on it and a normal, computer savvy person could have done it in 2 hours. Yes, I'm a little slow. I know that.

I want to buy some new equipment for my camera. I just wish Best Buy or Circuit City didn't jack up the prices cuz I hate having to wait like 2-3 weeks for my online purchase to arrive. And I don't wanna pay and extra $30 for 2 day delivery. At that point I should just spend the extra $75 and get it at Best Buy or Circuit City. Oh well.

I was bored a couple days ago and I made this picture. It's of Ramon, Ronnie, Marcos, and me. We are the 4 Whorsemen. We just like to go out and have a good time no matter what.

So it's the day after X-Mas and I'm here at work. I wanted to come in at 5:30am this morning but I've been going to bed at around that time for the past 3 days. It's been a fun little weekend. Here's a weekend recap:

Friday the family went over to Barona casino for the buffet and a little bit of gambling. They had some crab legs there and I tore it up. I probably ate like 20 crab legs.....and I don't even like crab legs(there's a story behind me saying that all the time). And after that, I cruised on over to Sin in downtown to meet up with some coworkers for some unadulterated fun. I took plenty of pix but I can't post any of them to protect the identity of the participants. Some might have significant others, some might be frequent church-goers, but nonetheless their actions are not accounted for.

Saturday was my Pops b-day and we had a lil' potluck that my Mom threw together. It was basically an X-Mas party for my Mom's coworkers and she didn't tell any of them that it was my Pops b-day. So there was a bunch of random people at my house and I just kept my distance. And after the party at my house, I stopped by Roel's pad for his b-day thingy. I got to see some friends that I haven't seen in a while. It was good times.

Sunday was a cleaning day due to the party we had the night before. I also watched a little bit of football and went to church for the first time in a while.

Monday was mostly spent at Qualcomm. We got to the stadium around noon and started the debauchery. Michelle came by and I gave her my X-mas gift and she loved it. It was a pair of Chargers lightning bolt earrings. She immediately took her earrings off and sported these ones. I like it when people actually like their gifts. =) The Chargers spanked the Broncos and now we got one game left on New Year's Eve day against the Raiders. It should be a blowout.

Tuesday was spent delivering gifts to my relatives and just hanging with the family. We didn't do anything special. We opened gifts and took some family pictures and that's it. It felt like a regular day to me, which is fine. I don't have a problem being ordinary. I think this was the first time we didn't gather together with relatives and celebrate in one location. I guess we're all too old now and people are tired and vacation days are actually used for resting.

Last night I had rehearsal and we played for about 3 hours straight and now my fingers hurt. The good thing is that we got 2 new songs written and a 3rd one almost done. It feels good to be productive.

After rehearsal I came home and worked on some stuff that I've been talking about. It's taking me a lot longer than what I was expecting cuz I'm learning new stuff as I go. I don't feel like writing that much so I'll post a little sample of my work. Enjoy.

I went to bed at 9pm last night but I didn't sleep very good. I saw almost every hour on the clock. I think I missed 4am even though I had my alarm set to 4:30am. I haven't slept much in the past 3 or 4 days. I've been working on some big things that can hopefully take me places. I'll reveal what those things are in the near future.

Last night I saw the R. Kelly video for his song "Thoia Thoing" and I was cracking up. It had this Japanese theme and R. Kelly was sellin' it. R. Kelly + Numchucks = Video Of The Year nominee. The song itself is pretty ridiculous. I usually like R. Kelly's music but this one almost had a reggaeton feel and I'm not really down with reggaeton. I'm sure this video is up on youtube. Give it a peep.

On the way to work I saw this skunk in the middle of the road and I flashed my headlights cuz I didn't want to run over it and I didn't feel like changing course. I never knew that skunks run weird. They have this slinky type effect on their body. It's like watching a huge caterpillar run really fast.

Shanel just walked in right now and the first thing she said when she saw me was "Oooohh". It wasn't like a "sexy" ooooohh, it was more like a "i'm pleasantly surprised to see you this morning" type of ooooohh. And I responded with a "whattup" oooohh.

Last night I had a heart to heart with one of my closest friends. I'll tell you, guys don't talk on the phone to each other unless there's a major crisis at hand. I faced this crossroad a few years back and now it was his turn. He came to me asking for advice and I told him all the things I was feeling at that moment in my life. I weighed the pros and cons and told him the consequences that each will bring. And he asked me if I was happy with my decision. I told him that I was NOT happy but I'm glad that I made that decision cuz now I know the difference between needs and wants. You can't always have what you want but you can survive. If you can't have what you need, you need to re-think things over. That was all he needed to hear. Someone to tell him he isn't crazy and that someone will have his back regardless of whatever decision he made. I wish I had this type of support when I was going through it. Moral of the story: How do you expect to provide for a family when you can't even provide for yourself? And respect a woman's right to choose.

"My ear gets sore after a while of penetration"

Hahahahahahaha. Another classic conversation. I love it.

Man, I am dead tired. I probably had 8 hours of sleep in the past 56 hours. Not good. My body can't recover and I feel like I'm getting sick again. This is the 3rd time I'm getting sick. I am a sickly child.

Shampooing the carpet was a success yesterday. The carpet does look WAY better and we managed to do it in record time. I basically moved all the crap/furniture out of the way and my bro just shampoo'd away. And then I would dump out the dirty water and my bro would refill it with clean water and carpet shampoo. We are a good combination.

Picked up my Mom and ended up taking her shopping after work. I kinda needed to get a lot done so that had to get put in the backburner.

I had rehearsal last night and we finished a new song and we were working on another. I want to go to the studio and record an album. I think we have enough songs now where we can start selling some cd's.

Went over to Jerry's after rehearsal to drop off some pix I took this weekend and discuss my "compensation". There was a lot of good news in that conversation.

The white elephant gift exchange at work was yesterday and I got someone a ri-dong-culous gift. I ended up getting a gift from Andie. The limit was $10-15 and I'm pretty sure she spent over $50. I came out on the good end of that. But I will take her out next Friday. A concert and dinner and then we'll make sweet love and take it from there.

Vanessa, me, and Andie

I came in at 5:30am this morning. Why? Cuz my Mom wants me and my bro to shampoo the carpet today for this X-mas party we're having at our house this weekend. So I'll be home a little before 2:30 today and we can get started on shampooing the carpet and hopefully we'll be done in time for me to pick up my Mom from work at 6. This is ridiculous. My Mom wants us to clean the carpet so other people can come over and leave their footprints all over the place. I don't have a problem cleaning, it's just that the place is gonna look exactly the same after the party. Why not just clean it after the party? It's not like our carpet looks dirty. We have a dark colored carpet. I was trying to reason this with her and then she came up with some idea that there's all this dust in our carpet and that's why I got sick. There's no point in arguing with my Mom cuz she'll fight it to the death and never admit that she's wrong.

I remember having this conversation with this old guy at the tailgate on Sunday. He was talking about marriage and the pros and cons of it. Basically he said that if you get married go all the way. Have a couple kids, cuz what's the point of being married without having any kids? Having a wife sucks but having kids is the best. He made a lot of good points but I can't remember them all. As of this moment, I don't see myself getting married. Things could change down the line but right now it's not on my mind. I know Ramon is basically getting his dong cut off soon but I saw it coming and it doesn't bother me in the least. He still hangs with the fellas unlike someone else I know, *cough* Ernie *cough*. Plus he has one of the coolest girls I've ever met. She's still a girl though, which means she's still a little crazy. No offense Ramon.

A little while back I made this 'Motivational Poster' that had a picture of me and the fellas drinking it up and smoking and it said "Friends don't let friends get married. It's ok to love someone but just say NO to marriage" It was a funny poster if you were one of the fellas but some of the significant others didn't appreciate it too much. Hahahahahaha

Friday night was supposed to be this huge event with me taking pix of like 8 models in various clubs and what not. Well, only 3 models showed up but we still had the limo and champagne and VIP access in the clubs so it was still a good time. The only thing that took away some of the fun was that one of the clubs took me out cuz of my camera so basically I couldn't take pix. We spent a good portion of the night in this club too so I didn't get to take that many pix. Oh well. It was a good night overall.

Saturday was spent at Ramon's flag football game. It was the championships and I was taking pix of them. Things didn't turn out the way we wanted and they ended up losing a close game in the championships. Calls that could have gone either way went against us.

Sunday was the usual. Tailgating, eating, drinking. The Chargers clinched the AFC West so that was awesome. I got to hang out with Michelle for a good portion of the tailgate. She baked some cookies for me and they were delicious. Butterscotch and chocolate and some nuts and all that delicious goodness. Michelle kinda plans things waaaaay ahead of time, which is a good thing, but every time I try and make some plans for us she already has something going on. So we were debating and decided that on Feb. 16, we'll be going up to LA to see Wicked. So I guess she's gonna be my Valentine.

Alot of other things happened but I was pretty faded so the details are a little blurry. I'll remember them eventually. The pix are on my camera.

I hate being sick. I was sick 2 weeks ago and now I came down with something different. The past two days my voice has been pretty much shot. It just feels like I never recovered. Bleh.

Those are my specialties. Hahahahaha. So last night I slept at 7pm again. I woke up and looked at the clock and it said 11:59pm. I normally sleep like 4-5 hrs/night so I guess that was a natural time for me to wake up. But I didn't wanna just sit around and do nothing while everyone was asleep so I decided to go back to sleep. I woke up again at 4:25am and I felt it was too early for me to go work so I slept again. I woke up for the 3rd time around 5:15am or so. Then I decided to take a shower and eat breakfast and pay some bills and do some other crap. I was gonna leave for work early but I got caught up with the crap I was doing that I ended up leaving around the same time I normally do.

Today is the last rehearsal for the X-mas band. Some people don't know their parts yet and keep looking at the music. I stopped looking at the music a few practices ago and I'm just playing it all by ear. They gave us a new song yesterday but I didn't even get the music so I can learn it by ear right away. I wanna have them all memorized but we're playing like 11 songs and there are 3 songs where I am unsure of their endings. It's not a big deal, it's only the last few measures but I've been ending the song at a different time than everyone else. Oh well, we'll iron out those kinks today.

Sorry for the no blog yesterday. I was in a meeting right when I got into work and then I had some stuff to take care of and then I went to music rehearsal for 4 hours and then by the time I came back, it was time to go home.


*******EDIT 8:12am***********

Shanel wrote a blog? That's like me having a girlfriend.

I think this past weekend has been the best weekend of '07. Action packed with testosterone and determination and pride and all the good stuff that makes life worthwhile.

Friday night I started fixing my compact digital camera. The screen cracked when it was in my pocket and it's been out of commission for like 6 months. It was still able to take pix but I had to look through the little viewfinder, but then I couldn't see the pic turned out like until I uploaded it onto my comp. So I got a new screen and decided to fix it myself instead of spending $120 to send it to Canon and have them repair it for me. I got a screen for like $65 and it came with instructions but they were a little weird. So I just decided to explore the inner workings of the camera on my own. and after about 4 hours and 3 unsuccessful attempts I finally got my camera working again. Now I can have a camera with me at ALL TIMES once again. Yay! And later that night my friend Jerry called me and told me that there would be a model photoshoot for DYSMD Girls.

Saturday I went to the photoshoot over in downtown at Red Circle. I guess they rented out the place and set up shop over there. I got there around 11am and stayed until 4pm. It was my first time being at an actual photoshoot. It was good for me to learn what the environment was like and the preparation that goes into everything. I never knew how much time and effort went into a shoot. I got to meet alot of the models there and they were asking for my card but I was all like "You know what? I'm fresh out but I'll get it to you when I get some more." The only 2 models doing shoots that day were Desiree and Rona. The crazy thing is I went to middle school with Desiree and I told her that I remember her. I said I was in band and she was in color guard. And then she was all like "Yeah, I remember you too. You played drums, right?" That was crazy. But yeah, Desiree and Rona each did 3 sets and it's pretty tough. Time constraints and people rushing and trying to squeeze things in. I'm glad I wasn't the main photographer. I was photographer B. I just took a bunch of auxilary shots, behind the scenes stuff, etc. I'll post some of my pix.

Sunday was one of the dirtiest games I have ever seen. Those Tennessee Titans were looking to take someone out. We had so many guys get injured in that game. I'm just glad we came out with a win. That's what we needed. A win on the road against a team with a winning record. Hopefully this gives us plenty of momentum going into the playoffs.

After the game, my Mom had us put up a bunch of X-mas lights around and outside the house. We spend a good portion of the day doing that. And when we finished that, I spent a few hours editing the pix from the photoshoot cuz I had to turn them in that day. I didn't realize that I took over 1100 pix. It was crazy. I think I only ended up giving 534 pix to the boss. They're quality shots though. Quality, not quantity.

Around 6 or 7 on Sunday night Michelle hit me up and asked me if I wanted to go to Charger Park with her to greet the team as they came home. She said the team was gonna be arriving around 9pm so she was gonna get there at 8:30ish to make sure. Well, I was dropping off the photoshoot pix and then I called her at 840 to see if the team had arrived yet. She said I need to get there soon cuz Casey Pierce, the Chargers.com writer, called her and told her the team arrived at the airport at 8:25 and they were gonna arrive at Charger Park a little before 9. So I hauled some major ass to try to get there.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw the Chargers team bus in front of me so I parked in the first spot I saw and started running full speed. It was like a scene in a movie. As I'm chasing after the buses, the first person I see is Michelle standing right by first bus and I tell her I made it. And she's smiling at me and says "Perfect Timing!" So we're chatting and she introduces me to her parents. Eeeeek. But they seem to be lovin' me. I guess Michelle told them a bunch of good things about me already. So we're taking pix and greeting the players and chattin' it up. They're good people. It was fun. The crazy thing that happened was when I was talking with Michelle I saw this blue-ish white light streak across the sky. I dunno if that's a sign or anything but it gave me a good feeling. Maybe it means I'm gonna have better seats come playoff time? Ha. =)

Last night at Strauss was a total blast. But something was missing. My night was not complete. I didn't get to see my favorite engineer. Booooooooo! I haven't seen her since last Strauss.

But Andie, the new girl, cruised along and she was fun. She's got a pretty slammin' body and she is an absolutely AMAZING singer. When I first heard her, she was doing this Faith Hill song and it gave me goosebumps cuz I felt every word she sang. If I wasn't a man, I probably would have cried. It was that good. Another thing I like about her is that she can munch. Nothing turns me on more than a girl who isn't afraid to eat. At the end of the night, we were chillin at Shanel's plpace and we ordered a pizza and me and Andie had a competition. Who could finish more pizza? It ended up as a tie cuz we ran out of pizza. But the girl can munch. And she's so tiny. I would guess that she's only like 95 lbs. She'll be a good, new addition to the crew.

Me and Shanel always have these weird conversations where people will walk into it at the wrong time. We'll be saying something and it's totally in context with what we're talking about but to a person who only hears that line, it sounds extremely dirty. For example, this one time we were eating a burrito and she was scared of this meat that didn't look fully cooked. I grabbed it and ate a piece to show her it was safe. It was fully cooked but the marinade made it look very pink. So I told her "Don't look at it! Just close your eyes, open your mouth and swallow." And someone comes in right when I said that and they were like "What are you guys doing?" And we just started cracking up.

I went to sleep pretty early again last night. Around 9pm. That's early for me. I usually sleep around midnight or later. My body is in a weak state right now. That's my only excuse for sleeping this early.

Right when I walked into the office this morning Shanel says "How can I depend on you if you're not even here?" I told her yesterday that if I came in and she wasn't here, I would text her. Well, I kinda felt like an asswipe when she said that. Maybe I shouldn't go around offering things I can't do. Am I in the wrong for feeling this way?

And when I went to get the morning coffee (morning tea for me) with Scott, I accidentally spilled some beans with him. We were just havin' some guy talk about crazy stuff we do and I mentioned something and he stopped me and was all like "What did you say?" And I was all like "Uhhhh, you didn't know? Well you didn't hear it from me then." I mean, it's not too big of a deal but I dunno if I should have been the one to break the news to him. Oh well, the damage is done.

Tonight is Strauss and I brought my camera. It's always good times at the Strauss. I invited Michelle but she already had plans. She said she would come next month. It means alot to me cuz she doesn't even like beer and she's willing to go for me. It was funny when I was talking to her the other night cuz when I called her she was still at work. She tutors kids after school and what not but one of the kids she was tutoring got next to her and yelled into the phone "Get off the phone with her, she's supposed to be tutoring me!" But she kept talking to me for like 10 more mins and then she started laughing all of a sudden and she told me that the kids she was tutoring were all on their phones now too. Monkey see, monkey do. Gotta love the kids. Hahahahaha.

Last night I went to bed at 7pm. The night before I went to bed at 9pm. I haven't been feelin' good lately. I guess I haven't been letting my body get any rest and now it's catching up to me. I also feel another cold coming. Not good.

Shanel has been comin' in at 6:30am and when I got here at 6:45am she wasn't here yet. SO I waited 15-20 mins to see if she would show but she never did so I texted her. She texted me back saying "Thanks for waking me up hahahahahaha". And when got here she told me she was supposed to come in a little earlier today since she has a doctor's appointment but now she might have to cancel it. Shanel is also sick like me.

You know who else is sick? Vanessa. She has strep throat and she didn't even come to work yesterday and she's part of the X-mas band too and we had studio time yesterday. We just ended up doing some songs that she wasn't singing. It's a good thing she's sick this week and not next week cuz that's when we perform. Eeeeek.

I think all this sickness is from Rosarito and dancing in the rain at Papas & Beer. Alcohol + Lack of sleep + Dancing in the rain = Sick. Whatever, it was well worth it. I had a blast. Looking forward to the next trip.

I just remembered about this voicemail that Shanel left me on the last time we went to Strauss. It was after Strauss and we were dropping off Karmen and then gonna head over to Scotty's house. Shanel was riding with Ramon and Vanessa was with me. So Shanel is trying to call me to tell me not to drop off Karmen and just bring her with us to Scott's but Karmen was pretty much wasted. She was ready to pass out. So Shanel is calling me but I can't find my phone. I can hear it my truck but it dropped in between the seats and I couldn't find it so I couldn't answer. Once we made it to a stoplight, I looked under the seat and found it. So I had a new voice message icon when I found it. I listened to it and here's what it said: "Freddy! Freddy? Why aren't you picking up your phone? What are you doing with Vanessa? Are you making out with Vanessa? You better not be! You should be making out with me! Freddy? Ok, call me back." Hahahahahahaha! I was cracking up when I heard it. Shanel is crazy.

That's all for right now.

I've been feeling a little down ever we came back from Rosarito. I didn't really want the fun to end. I keep looking at all the pix and I'm smiling and all happy. Now, that's not the case. I'm here at work and pretending to look busy. Hahahahaha. The only thing I have to look forward to today/this week is music rehearsals in the studio with the X-mas band.

I'm getting paid like an engineer but I'm getting to do what I love to do, play music. Who wouldn't want to be in X-mas band? I get so much priveleges. The only hard part about being in the X-mas band was that I also got to voice my opinions on some of the people who auditioned. I was kind of a deciding vote yesterday. We've been rehearsing with one of the guys for over a week now and it looks like he'll get cut today. We have a week and a half til the performance. I think there might be 2 newcomers (technically 1, cuz the other is just switching instruments) today. We haven't gone through all the songs yet. We've practiced maybe 4 or 5. Those are the songs that the new singers are gonna do. The focus has been on them. I guess the other songs are traditional X-mas songs so "everybody" should know it. I haven't actually played on a drumset with the band yet. I've been sitting there listening to their style of play and thinking of my parts that could fit with them. Today is gonna be the first day I actually get to hop on a drumset and play with the full band.

I was told that some people heard me play last year and they were inspired to join the X-mas band this year. Apparently every drummer they had before me was mediocre at best. I know the feeling of playing with people who are still learning. It makes you hold back cuz they can't comprehend all the things you're doing. It's a different story when you play with people who are waaaaaay better than you. It's like they bring you up to their level, or at least a couple notches above your normal playing level.

Practice is at 1:30. Only 5 more hours to go......

I found this site, , that shows you how to make wallets out of money. I think imma try it sometime this week. How sweet would it be for you to be pulling out a wad of cash from a wad of cash. Hahahahahaha. Maybe I'm the only one who finds that entertaining.

I've had some doubts about myself and my abilities as of late. Some things just aren't falling the way I want them to and I know what I need to change but I just can't bring myself to do it. Being in a comfortable spot is NOT always a comforting thing. You gotta be on your toes at all times or else you become complacent.

I don't think I've practiced for Struedel Court in over a month now. Things just keep coming up and I keep pushing things back. Maybe I don't wanna do this right now? Music is my life. I really enjoy it, but there are other things that I'm enjoying more. Another one of my flaws: not keeping my eyes on the prize. I have a wandering eye and it's also very greedy. Instant gratification is what I need and nothing can stop me.

The new year is coming and I want to end this year off right so I can keep that vibe going into the next one.

I really want to get into all the full details of this trip but I can't. All I can say is that I went down there with something in mind and plans changed a little but I still had fun. The whole coworkers/keeping it professional deal went out the window. I mean, we'd go out and have fun but not his kind of fun. This is a throwback to the college years. Madness. Good times. And plenty of incriminating photos.