The DerfJam Chronicles

I've had this weird throw up feeling for the past 2 days and this morning my stomach was killin' me. I had every intention of showing up at 5:30 this morning but I was on the crapper for half an hour so I got here at 6:12. Oh well, I'm still leaving before 3.

I also woke up to find my hand all curled up. And usually when I fall asleep with my hand all curled up, my hand is numb for the entire day. Luckily my hand isn't numb, but it does feel like I'm wearing a watch waaaaaaay too tight.

I tried shrimp pho yesterday and I wasn't feelin' it too much. Of all the seafood, shrimp is my favorite but the broth tasting like boiled shrimp water wasn't doin' me good. Shanel got the chicken pho and I tried a little and it was good. I might get that next time we go.

Dredg concert tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!

So my supervisor talked to me about my Diner that I have set up here. She was asking if I wanted cabinets? Apparently upper management was looking at all my items and our supervisor thought they might not like it, since it's all out in the open. They haven't said anything about it so it might be a sign of disapproval. So that's why she offered to get me some cabinets to conceal my items. She is fine with me setting up shop but if upper management complains, they will get on her case about so I told cabinets would be a good idea.


LJ tells me that Kelvin is having a Pajama Jam this Saturday and I might be tempted to go. He said there was gonna be a bunch of hunnies in tiny pajamas so that might be incentive enough.


I went over to talk to Vanessa, the new girl, this morning and we were chatting and I invited her out to lunch today. I told her we were gettin' some pho and she was all like "Cool, I'm down! I didn't bring lunch today." And then I said something like "Alright alright. It's on." And then Tam butts in and asked where we were gonna go for lunch and he said he didn't bring lunch too and wanted to come along. C-BLOCK!!!!!


Mr. Hot Shot isn't pissing me off as much anymore. He stopped working during break, he's starting to talk to us more, he even played some guitar during lunch yesterday and he was pretty decent. I think we attacked him too much and now he's finally trying to get back. We always make fun of each other and none of us get our feelings hurt but he did before and that didn't stop me. I guess now he knows that everything is just a joke and we're not really trying to attack each other.


My bro's company is moving to Texas so he's looking for a new job. Imma try to get him into my company but I dunno if they allow that, especially if we're gonna be working in the same department. I'll find out.


Tomorrow is the Dredg concert. I'm excited to see them. And I also looking forward to seeing Aileen.

The rain stopped and the sun is shining for the time being.

I got called into the Big Boss' office earlier today by my Supervisor and when I walked in the two big bosses were in there. They told me to have a seat. I was nervous. I didn't know what I was in there for. They must have saw the fear in my eyes cuz I made eye contact with all three of them before I sat down. But then one of them said "Don't worry, this is good."

They proceeded to tell me some stuff about our company achievements and changes going on and stuff I saw when I started and where we are now as a group. Everything we've done has exceeded expectations so......now I am a Technical engineer II. Along with more duties and responsibilities comes more pay!

They gave me a pretty FAT raise. It's morbidly obese!!!!! This is more than double of my previous raise, and that was one of the highest they were giving out. This was totally unexpected.

I walked out of that office smiling like I just got the girl of my dreams and her best friend. I couldn't hide my smile and excitement. I wanted to call my Mom right away and tell her the good news.

I wanted to leave but now I'm glad I stayed. =)

Curveballs. Learn how to hit them.

I look back at all the things I've done and I'm quite proud of all my accomplishments and achievements throughout the years. I was doing something right to get me to where I am today. But I have one big regret that I can't get off my chest. They always say "regret the things you do and not the things you didn't do" but this is something I didn't do and it's haunting me. 8 years of futility, 8 years I can't get back. It was fear that drove me to seclusion. I didn't know what to do....so I didn't do it. It was my predominant Catholic upbringing that always made me think twice about everything. I was never able to put myself in the equation. I was always thinking about the consequences and who would be offended and what would so and so think about me if I went through with this.

I've been trying to break the mold but there's always someone who slaps me in the face and puts me back in my place. I wanna fight back but my conscious tells me not to. It tells me to turn the other cheek.

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28). I understand the concept but the execution is the hard part. Knowing and doing are two different things. You don't fight fire with fire, you fight fire with water. But what if there's no water around?





He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument.

...there is no such thing as failure, only learning lessons.

"The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn."
-Gloria Steinem

All the things that I do wrong, I keep doing wrong. To reprogram my mind is out of the question. It's instilled in me. No thought goes through my head until after I've done the deed. Instinct. It's the fight or flight syndrome and I'm fighting to the death. Pavlov's dogs aint got nothin' on me. I'm already salivating...

We know something is wrong and we know we need to fix it. Soon.

Based on yesterday's experience, I decided to come in early so that way I would not have to deal with stupid drivers. I left the house at 5:15am and clocked in at 5:39. My alarm went off at 4:30 but I decided to sleep an extra 30 mins. Yaye!

Yesterday I bought the Dredg tix. I'm excited to see them. I remember the first time I saw them the singer was all fat. And the last time I saw them the singer got skinny. Imagine me losing enough weight to end up looking like Ramon. I guess that's what happens when you're in a band that tours and you guys aren't famous yet and y'all still don't have any money. I've only heard Dredg on the radio once. And that was on 94.9, which is an Indie station. I like the bands that aren't mainstream cuz they have a sound of their own and they're not afraid to do different things. I know when a band gets signed, their sound becomes what the record company wants them to sound like. EVIL!

I also stopped by Costco to restock on the goods. I made an excel spreadsheet that lists what item I bought and it's quantities, and I'm tracking the buy price, sell price, profit, and all that jazz.

My Mom is sick, Shanel is sick, people around me are sick, and I'm starting to feel sick too. I woke up and my throat felt all lumpy and full of phlegm. So Today we will have pho and hopefully it makes me feel better. I invited Vanessa again. She's always down. I like that about her.

LJ tells me there's this slammin' girl who got interviewed. He saw her sitting in the lobby waiting for the interview. He also said she went to State and I'm pretty sure I introduced myself to all the girls in engineering cuz I went to all the SWE (Society of Women Engineers) meetings. What? That's where all the hunnies were at. Don't hate. But yeah, he said her name was Jade or something and the only girl I remember with a name similar to that was some Korean girl in the Masters Program. And she was slammin'. So we'll see if this is the same girl. But why would someone with a Masters apply here? Hahahahahaha.

Oh yeah, I'm leaving at 2:18pm today.

And Scotty's Pirate Party is a NO GO! Boooooooo! Sorry Melin.


Don't open a shop unless you like to smile.

I left at 6:40 and barely clocked in right now at exactly 8:00. People don't know how to drive when the roads are a little slick. Why do the worst drivers decide that they need to drive when it rains? And it doesn't help that I live in Mexico. Front BC drivers + rain = 1.33 hr commutes to work. Yaye! NOT!

When I was driving this morning, my hand was throbbing from playing so much guitar yesterday. It was mostly my thumb, which I will say is my most important finger. I could function normally missing any other finger except the thumb. The thumb is crucial for grabbing/grasping/holding things. But yeah, all my fingers (except the pinky) on my left hand hurt right now. It feels like I have paper cuts on my fingertips. And I have the mouse on my left hand here at work. Bleh.

Last night at practice we were writing this new song and I'm excited about it. I opened up a can of worms with a capo (pronounced K-poe, I think). A capo is basically a clamp that goes onto your guitar and you can play the same chords but in a higher key, so essentially it is no longer the same chord but you're doing the same fingerings. I don't really play conventional chords in all the songs I write. I guess you can call them open bar chords, if that makes any sense. I don't do bar chords, where you press your pointer finger on all six strings, cuz I have small hands and it hurts when I do a lot of them in one song. Yeah, I don't think anyone who reads this is gonna understand any of this paragraph.

Moving on, Beerfest this Friday........and rain? I dunno if that's a good combination. Sorry April. Imma have to pull out. When in doubt, pull out! =) If you're going, rain or shine and it happens to be shining in the afternoon, I'll give you a call.

I wanna go see Good Luck Chuck. Who wants to join me?

I'm buying Dredg tickets today. So far it's me, Aileen, Fonso, and Tin that are going for sure. I'm buying our 4 tix today. And I might meet Thompson and Krisando there. Who else wants to go? Ramon? Mari? April? The show is on Sept. 28 and starts at 8pm. They'll probably hit the stage at 9:30 but they get to pick who opens for them and I'm curious to hear those opening acts. $15 only.

So I set up my basketball hoop that I won at the company picnic. I put it on my cubicle. At first it kept falling down but Shanel helped me tape it down so it would stay. I've only shot a few baskets and it hasn't fallen yet so that's a good sign. I should have used duct tape but all we got here is scotch tape and that tends to lose it's stickiness when it gets cold. But yeah, Mr. Safety Committee Guy said as long as my b-ball was a soft, plush one it would be ok for me to shoot around. And I'm not allowed to shoot it from halfway across the room. Booooo! That would be dope to be sitting at Ramon's desk, a good 40-50 feet away, and shoot it from there. Here's the work layout:


The new people like LJ and Vanessa don't have seats yet. Mr. Safety Committee Guy also inspects my Diner/food stash to make sure no roaches or rats are being attracted. I think Mr. Hot Shot and Mr. Safety Committee Guy would make good butt-buddies. =)


I got this pimple right underneath my lower lip. It's right next to my soul patch. At least I hope it's a pimple and not a cold sore. I popped it yesterday and all this solid puss came out. It was like the size of a sesame seed and my lip was starting to swell. It's gone today.

I came to the realization that I'm living on borrowed time. The things I do and the abuse I put on my body and my mind. I'm surprised that nothing extremely bad has happened to me. There have been a few close calls but I have the "I'm young and I'm invincible" mentality. I'm starting to feel things that I've never felt before. Pain in muscles I didn't know I had, aches in joints, shoulders poppin' out of place, and carpal tunnel kickin' in.

I was having a conversation with my Mom last night and she was saying I needed to take care of myself better. I was getting angry and was starting to yell at her. I didn't scream at her or anything but my tone of voice was a commanding one. I'm sure she didn't like it cuz she stopped talking. I was mad cuz she was trying to stop me from doing what I like to do. I'm more angry at myself for not having a clear head and not seeing what I was doing. I was almost at tears cuz I know I have no self control and I don't know what I need to do. How can I right this wrong?

I'm mad now and I'm trying to change. Every other time I've tried to make a change, I would be doing good for a month and then I would revert back to my old self. We'll see what happens this time around.


Do not fear going forward slowly; fear only to stand still.

I remembered what I was thinking about last night. Cesar, the former guitarist of my old band, hit me up asking me if I wanted to do the drum tracks for his new projects. Cesar joined the Air Force after I quit the band, so he's stationed over in Utah most of the time. He said he was coming down here next month and he was gonna record. I was excited for him cuz I knew I ruined a good thing when I left the band. It was good to hear that he was still doing music. But I'm excited to play drums. I don't think I've touched my drumset since December. And I have a brand new drum set. I only used my drumset for 3 gigs before I left the band. So everything is still in it's case and in tip top shape. I just gotta dust em off and tune the heads and they're good to go.

My Mom was talking to her sisters in the Philippines and they're gonna coming stateside sometime and we already have 6 people living a 4 bedroom house. If you add my Auntie, her husband and her 3 kids, that's a grip of peeps in my house. And my Mom still has 2 more sisters that will follow after and they each have their own families. Most likely, they will stay at our place until they can find jobs and afford an apartment. Either that or me and my bro are gonna move out. I've been spending my earnings like a madman when I shoulda been saving for a house. My bad.

Earlier today at a meeting, someone wrote "Fred loves you" on the new girl Vanessa's nametag on her desk. That's not gonna be good when she sees it. I didn't bother crossing it off cuz what if she's flattered by it? If she gets pissed I'll just say I didn't know anything about it. It's not my handwriting.

I had a bunch on my mind last night and I wanted to write about it today but I totally forgot. Like that's never happened before. Meh.

But I was talking to Aileen last night and we've been planning a dinner date or something from way back when but the both of us are really busy so we never got around to it. I told her about the dredg concert on Sept. 28 and she said she was down for it. Yaye! And then we can do dinner that same night before or after the concert.....or we could just go straight to the baby-making. Ha. Yeah, but I'm real excited to see her. I haven't seen her in a good while. A lot has changed since the last time we graced each other's presence. I went to her place a couple months ago but she wasn't home so I just played ping pong with her bro and sis and their cousin. And I dominated them....with my left hand. Ha.

Flag Football has begun so imma be out there in Ocean Beach on Saturdays doing some photography. I love taking pix. Who wants to model?

Kicked Glenn's arse in FFL thanks to Carson Palmer and his 6 td's. Andre Johnson of the Houston Texans helped me out bigtime too. Pick him up if he's available. Oh, and screw Leon Washington. Hahahahaha.

So Friday night I went to take my Mom to the Movies cuz she wanted to watch this Filipino movie called A Love Story. It was pretty funny cuz right when we walked into the theater, we were the only ones in there. The theater was huge too. It looked like it could hold around 500 people and it was just us in there. When the movie started a few more people walked in so there were about 7 total. It was weird watching it with my Mom cuz there was like 10 love making scenes. Hahahahaha. But I didn't really like the movie. I'm not too much into those romance stories and crap. I'd much rather see comedy or action stuff. I am a man. =)

Saturday was the company picnic. April Joy came with me and I enjoyed her company. We never really hung out when we were in school. When we would get together it was always school related, working on a project, grabbing a beer after a final, and things of that nature. I dunno why I waited so long to start kickin' it with her. Actually I do know but I'd rather not say. But yeah, back to the picnic. I had a good time. There were a bunch of games and I participated in a couple of them. I was in the hula hoop/human chain game, where 10 people hold hand is a cirlce and pass the hula hoop around while music is playing. And I was in the shaving cream/goldfish toss where they lathered my face with shaving cream and people tried to make goldfishes stick to my face. They had this mega raffle where they were giving away a laptop and an X-Box 360 with Guitar Hero 2. I didn't win anything. I never win anything. That's the story of my life.

Sunday was football all day and the Chargers lost. They lost bad. That's all I will say. Looking forward to Green Bay.

Oh yeah, I was talking to Karmen on Saturday night and she was kinda mad that I ignored her during the picnic. I saw her there and I said hi but I didn't really go over and talk to her. I usually keep her company anytime we go to a function or whatever cuz she's not really comfortable with everyone we work with. She doesn't understand the lingo and all that stuff that we do but I always break it down and explain it to her. Like one time she heard one of us say "I dig it" and she was wondering what that meant. Hahahahaha. Things like that, I'll make sure she understands but no one else really explains things for her. Since she's not too good with her English so she takes everything literally. But I felt kinda bad cuz she said she didn't have a good time. She felt all alone and bored. I saw her with Jesse so I thought she had company but apparently he wasn't doing any talking and he felt the same way as her. I'll remember not to leave her alone next time we're out.

Pirate Party is tentative. We'll find out if the planners are gonna go through with it. Stay tuned....





Do good, reap good; do evil, reap evil.

I'm still at work and I'm trying to meet this deadline. Funny thing is, I don't really care. Ha.

I invited Vanessa to lunch today. I was a little scared at first but then I remembered that I have nothing to lose so I just straight up asked her to join us for some pho. It was originally just gonna be me and Karmen but as we were clocking out for lunch I saw Vanessa and I wanted her to come. Ha. She's not really slammin' or anything but there's something about her that intrigues me. It could be the new girl factor, just something different and new to look at. Don't get me wrong, she's not ugly but if I was walking down the street I wouldn't break my neck to check out the goods. But yeah, I'm glad I invited her and I'm glad she went. Found out that she's from the dirty south too and she knew some of my high school mates. But Karmen tells me she has a boyfriend. Oh well, that's never stopped me before. Muahahahahahaha.

Beggars can't be choosers. And when you're ugly, you can't be picky.

Don't expect a blog from me tomorrow cuz I just got out of a meeting and they want me to have 20 MLV's QA'd by tomorrow. It took me a whole week to do one. Now they dropped out a bunch of steps in order to meet a release deadline tomorrow. Only the bare necessities will be QA'd. It took me 2 hours to do, with all the steps, and now they dropped a bunch of steps and expect me to do it in 20 mins. We'll see if that's plausible. They gave me some people to help me out. I got Stephanie working with me. She's pretty damn slammin'! Half white and Half Filipino. I think half white and half anything is perfect. It's just a winning combination. It's like peanut butter and jelly. They're both good but when you combine them it's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, wish me luck.

It just went down and all the hype that we put into it was not worth it. Pssssst, come here. I have a secret for you: "HYPE KILLS". I think the fact that this challenge is kinda slow, it's hard to get pumped for it. The second you toss that first cracker in your mouth, the whole pace of your life comes to a snailing stop. The most anyone ate was 5 saltines. And there were 3 or 4 people who ate 5. I only ate 4. I thought I could do better. It just felt like I was chewing for days and nothing was getting swallowed. It was like gum that lost all it's flavor and somehow became salty.

Today we're having a potluck too. I brought in some chicken wings. I hope someone brought some rice.

And we were passing around this going-away/good luck card that everyone is signing for Niki and Mr. Hotshot in my cubicle here says something like "Oh, so when I leave is everyone gonna do this for me?" And I said something like "Instead of 'good luck' or 'we'll miss you', we're gonna write FINALLY! IT'S ABOUT TIME" And we all started laughing and he turned around to his computer and with his back to us he said "Go ahead, laugh it up." He got all butt hurt! I felt kinda bad but I was too busy cracking up. I got a black heart. No remorse, no regrets. Go for the killshot while you can. Now he has his headphones on and isn't listening to us. I'd really like to punch him in his ovaries!!!!

Why does punching someone/something feel so good? I can't explain what goes on inside me when my fist makes contact. I still remember the last time I punched someone. It was in downtown after hittin' up a club. There's a reason why I don't go to clubs. But yeah, some drunk fool was walking and someone in his posse bumped shoulders with my brother and they got all offended by it. So this drunk starts wailing punches on my bro and I'm a good 15 ft away from him and I see the attack happening so I run over and deck this fool right on the temple. It only took one shot and his head went down and he was staggering. This guy threw like 20 punches on my bro and he's lucky I only threw 1. But his posse stood in between us to stop me from doing further damage. I just pointed at him and said "Don't you EVER try that again!"

Last night was very productive. We recorded a new song called "Caves and Portals" and added more to a newer song called "Cowboy Cologne". That song isn't done yet but we've been stuck on it for a couple weeks. We added more parts to it and now we just gotta figure out the structure of the song.

My back has been acting up on me again. I need to start running again when I get home from work. Who wants to join me? It'll be more like fast pace walking than actual running but whatever. I'm slow, I'm sure you could tell just by looking at me. ;) I do accept foot race challenges.

I didn't eat until 5pm yesterday. Those 8 tacos filled me up and stayed inside me for a while. I didn't even feel thirsty or anything. I know people who eat one meal a day and i thought they were crazy. I thought it was impossible. Now I know if you a big enough meal, you can last a whole day without feeling hungry.

Today we're having a long overdue food challenge in honor of Niki's last day here. It's gonna be The Saltine Challenge. Who can eat the most saltines in 1 minute? My personal record is 5. The current record to beat/match is 7 but the guy who did that doesn't work here anymore so I dunno if that record is still valid. Scott won the first time we did it with 6 saltines. Imma shoot for 6 today.

Plans for tonight:
*RUN
*Change guitar strings
*Clean guitar
*Work on new songs


Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

Taco Tuesday was fun last night. It was me, April Joy, Ramon, and Mari that went to On The Border. I was leaving work and Ramon was leaving too so I told him I was going to OTB and I told him to roll too and it's history from there. I always have a good time when I have good company. It doesn't matter what we do, a good time will always happen.

We had some margaritas and a few tacos. Well, everyone else had a few tacos. I just happened to eat 8. Hahahahahahaha. It was good. I think my favorite one was the crunchy chicken taco. Let's see, there was ground beef, shredded beef, carnitas, and chicken. And I had one of each, the crunchy version and the soft version. I was struggling on the last one but I managed to scarf it down. Thanks for dinner Apes! I got you on the next one.

I can still feel the tacos as I'm typing this. My mind is telling me that I'm hungry since I would normally be eating at this time but my stomach is telling me that I'm full. It's a conflict of interest and my mind is winning. But I'm eating fruit so it's all good.

The company picnic is this Saturday and I still don't have a date. I invited April Joy but she didn't really give me a straight answer. She just said that it was far. The picnic is in Lakeside, which is a damn drive. But she has a party to go to in the evening anyways so I'll just take that as a no. It's ok, I'm used to hearing no.....as in "No, Don't Stop! Harder!" j/k. Tomorrow is the last day to sign up so if I don't have a date by then, I guess I just won't go. I didn't really ask anybody else cuz nobody has really met my co-workers except April Joy. I was gonna ask Aileen but we were planning on going out to dinner that night and I don't wanna spend an entire day with her. So the offer is still in the air if you decide you'd like to go Apes. Just let me know by tomorrow. And don't worry, I'll drive. =)

I'm going to Fonso's tonight and I wanna record all the songs that we've written. I also want to re-record the ones that we've already recorded. Those versions were recorded right when we wrote them and they've changed a little bit so I wanna have up-to-date copies.

Hopefully my pinky can hang in there. My ripped hangnail is still bothering me. If it hurts when I type, it's bound to hurt when I play guitar. I'll test it out on 1st break.





A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.

I think the janitor read my blog cuz I just went to the bathroom and the U seat is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hellz yeah. I can now handle my business with my dignity still in tact. I'm stoked.

So they changed the toilet seats at work (or at least the bathroom that I go to) and I'm not liking it very much. There's this little lip in the back that cups your cheeks and it's annoying. Plus the front end is all small. I hate the fact that my sack rests on the front end. The normal seat they used to have was this U-shaped seat and my sack could hang freely. It bothers me that if my sack is touching the seat, then other dudes' sacks are also touching the seat. It's not a good thought. Bring back the U seat!!!!!!!!!

Another thing that bothers me is that there aren't enough bathrooms in this facility. 75 people share 2 stalls and 1 urinal. It's mayhem after lunch. That's just for the men. There might be 3 or 4 stalls for the women but theres only like 10 females on our floor so it's not bad.


I played guitar at lunch today instead of eating since I'm saving my appetite for Taco Tuesday. I need the practice anyways.

I was struggling last night at practice. My fingers were hurting and I couldn't remember the songs we wrote. I was forgetting the rhythm that I was playing and I was also forgetting the structures of the song. But we did record one of the songs that we already finished writing. It's a song called "Debutante". I'm a dumb butt and I left the recording at my friend's house. There was another song that was recorded and I needed to listen to it to come up with a part but I left that at my friend's house too. Oh well, I'll be back there tomorrow.

So my favorite band, dredg, is coming to town on Sept. 28. My buddy Thompson (Mr. Solar Turbines) is gonna cruise over and check them out too. Tickets are $15 if anyone wants to go. The show is at SOMA so it's a nice, little, intimate venue. The last time I checked dredg out, I got to meet them and take pix with them and I got them to sign my CD and poster. And yes, they spell their name with a lowercase d.

I came in earlier today so I could leave earlier. I could probably leave around 3ish but I'll do a little OT and leave at 4. Hourly over salary sometimes has it's advantages. =)




A nation's treasure is in its scholars.

Friday night I did nothing but listen to music for like 5 hours. It was good. I need more inspiration. The more I write music, the more I need to listen to other music. I need to hear different things to keep my mind fresh.

Saturday was chill. I woke up hella late and I ran a bunch of errands. And I couldn't wait for the night. At around 8pm we headed down south to take the virgins for a good time. When we got there, I was offering to pay for them and all they had to do was pick which one they wanted. But none of them took the bait. Needless to say, they're still virgins. I tried to help out but there's nothing I can do for them. If you can't do a whore, you can't do a regular girl. They're just gonna have to do it on their own. We ended up leaving the whore house since they weren't gonna do it and we went to a regular strip club and they had the time of their lives there. I personally don't like strip clubs cuz I don't like getting worked up and not being finished off. If you're gonna get the soldier to stand at full attention don't leave him standing in full attention the whole night. Finish the salute so he can be at ease. But yeah, we left the strip club early since we were tailgating at the Chargers game the next morning.

Sunday morning took too long to get here. But Chargers season is here and that's all that matters. We got jacked from our usual tailgate spot though. People came early. The parking lot got packed quick too. We got to the stadium 10 mins later than when we usually get there and we find some other dude in our spot. Oh well. We just posted up next to him. But we had so much leftover food. I hate having leftovers. But I guess that's better than not having enough food.

The Chargers offense was looking stagnant the entire first half. A lot of dropped balls ,good defense by the Bears, and bad officiating. I'm glad Gates stepped up cuz he's on my fantasy team. The Bears held LT but we got the win so it doesn't matter. We had to beat 2 teams to get this win: the Bears and the Refs.

Looking forward to Taco Tuesday! =)





A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials.

Last night at the Strauss was pretty damn fun. It was Scotty, Mya, Roman, Shanel, Niki, Ramon, Karmen, Ryan, me, and April. Big ups to April for comin' out even though you didn't really know anyone there. I hope you had a good time cuz I sure did. That emptiness in my heart, that void in soul was filled yesterday when I got to see for the first time in a long time. I hope I don't have to wait that long to see you again. =)

After Strauss we hit up Scotty's place and we played ping pong while the others played Beirut (aka beer pong). Me and Scotty played one game and I realized I need to start practicing again. I also played Karmen and she's pretty good. She said she used to play all the time 10 years ago.

I didn't even drink that much last night but I was feeling weird when I got home. I took a shower and then watched highlights of the Colts-Saints game while I waited for my hair to dry. But I tried to sleep around 12 but I was feeling cold. So I put some clothes on and turned off the fan. I fell asleep for a little while but I woke up at 2am feeling all hot. I took my clothes off and turned tha fan back on but I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't fall alseep til 4am and I had to get up at 6am. What did I do during those 2 hours awake? I tried to fix my phone cuz my text message isn't working. I can receive messages but I can't reply to them. It was asking me to Define a Message Center Number. I didn't know what that meant so I did some research on it. I found something online and I put that message center number but I still haven't tried a text yet. I will later though.

....and I already took 3 dumps. I feel a 4th one coming but imma cork it and wait til lunch. What's for lunch today? I have 2 apples and an orange. I already ate one apple for breakfast. It was ok. It tasted a little old. I got them last weekend and I guess fruits only last a few weeks at the most. I'm trying to eat healthy sometimes. I feel like my back is taking the brunt of my weight and that's the reason for my back pains. If I'm carrying less weight, my back will be working less and therefore able to to maintain for longer periods of time.

Don't forget to set your lineups today since tonight is the first game of the season. I've been waiting for this since February. Not the fantasy football, but the real season. This is my favorite time of the year. It's kinda like Christmas but better. Being with my friends every week, grillin' it up in the parking lot, eatin' great food, watching the Chargers tear it up. There's not much more you can ask for.


Strauss tonight. Happy hour starts at 6pm but since tonight is Opening Kickoff, it's gonna be packed like fudge. We'll be getting there at 5:30pm(maybe earlier). I got to work this morning and was informed that 2 more people will be joining us. If we're seated at a regular table it's all booked but since we're gonna try to get there early we're gonna ask for a huge table so we can seat more guests. I'd like to get this huge table so April Joy can join us. I haven't seen her in a good while. I think since graduation and that was pretty much 2 years ago.



A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.

It's almost 3:30 and I've been pretty swamped all day. I'm ready to go home right now. My brain is fried and I feel like taking a nap. It also doesn't help that my side of the room has no AC. Boooo.

It's so hard for me to sleep at night. Open window, no blanket, no shirt, no shorts, fan on. I don't have AC at home....or at work. I do feel like I've lost 5 lbs. from sweating all day. But it's all water weight so imma gain it back quick.


I wanna be a house-husband and just raise the kids all day and clean the house and run errands. and cook and all that good stuff that housewives get to do. Who's up for my offer? I'm ready to start ASAP.

Hit up the Strauss in Sorrento for free beer tomorrow night. April Joy? I know you're not too far from Sorrento. 5:30pm. Be there. Aileen, I know you want my body but the only way you'll get me is if I'm drunk. This is your chance....



A book tightly shut is but a block of paper.

This past weekend, we stayed about an hour south of San Fran at my cousin's house. It was like a mini family reunion. We left Friday night around midnight and got there at 7am. I drove the whole way. I wanted to switch off with my bro at around 4am but he was knocked out cold. I tried to tap him to wake him up but no response. So I kept driving and bumpin' the jams helped keep me awake.

There was about 25 people sleeping in a 3 bedroom house. It was madness. And it was also an oven up there. The outside temperature was 105 during the daytime. It was really messing me up. The house was a cool 75 degrees or so and I kept having to go outside to get thing or put things away and the drastic temperature change really got to me.

It was good to see my family. My little cousins don't even remember me. And my grandma was really happy that my estranged uncle actually showed up. His wife took over the show and kind of pulled him away from the family. It's good to see that he grew some balls and showed up for a change.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I'm tired as usual. That means I'm back to my regular schedule.





A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.