The DerfJam Chronicles

I got an interview with Goodrich this Friday. Wish me luck!

Sorry for the lack of updates/entries/etc.

I gotta find a new job. NOW!

I'm being a rebel and going on the internet. Ha.

You know what's weird? No hair grows on the part of my wrist that my watch touches. When I don't wear a watch, there is usually hair. I guess cuz my wrist is so big that the watch is basically glued to my wrist and doesn't allow for the hair to come out of the skin. I can't adjust my watch strap, it's set to the biggest already.

I also have alot of bald spots on my legs. Everytime I shave my legs, a patch of hair will not grow back. So if I shave my legs enough, eventually I will have no hair whatsoever.

I wish I could grow a full beard so I can the rock the Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince look. I can only grow a thin mustache and a thin goatee. Asian status.

They moved my seat at work. I used to sit with my back to the wall....which meant internet all day for me. Now I sit on the opposite end and I'm facing the wall/window and everyone sits behind me which means no more internet for me. Oh well.

NBA playoffs has begun. I love it during playoffs. Good games and pretty much every night during the first few rounds. I'm a Laker fan by default cuz when we moved here and stayed with my Uncle, he was a Laker fan and I grew up watching the Lakers. It was the Showtime Lakers with Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, AC Green, Kurt Rambis, Michael Cooper, Mykal Thompson, and the gang. I'm not a huge Kobe fan.

Did you know that there's some Chinese dude named Sun Ming-Ming who's like 7'9" tall? I was watching something on Discovery HD called Anatomy of a Giant and they were documenting his dream to make it to the NBA. It was pretty nasty cuz in Chine, they didn't have shoes big enough to fit him so he wore some smaller size and now his toes are all curled up. I think he wears a size 19 shoe. If his toes weren't curled, he'd probably wear a size 22. I wear a size 9 so his foot is HUGE!!!!!

I'll see if I can uodate during work still....

I entered a skate shop that my friends own. I walked in to find my friend Sal working there. I wasn't aware that he worked there. Another one of my friends was putting clothes on the racks and there were some customers just lookin' at the gear. I walked in wearing a shirt that I designed. I had designed it in hopes they would sell it. Sal is diggin' my shirt but he never says anything to me. I guess his attention was to the other customers in the store. He was answering their questions, getting stuff out from the back and what not. I was just checking out their selection the whole time. I saw some all-over print jackets that I wanted.

**end of dream**

Last before I slept I was doing some design stuff on photoshop. I guess my ideas carried over into my dream. My friends play on a flag football league and I go and take pix every once in a while. The design I was doing was for their myspace page. They named me their official manager since I do some of the publicity work for them.

Today I just happen to be wearing some green, yellow, and red (aka Rasta colors). I'm rockin' a Rasta headband, my shirt is black but has some letters in Rasta colors, and my jackets has Rasta diamonds on it. So some of the coworkers are accusing me of doing the deed that is done on this day, April 20 (aka 4/20). It's pure coincidence that I'm wearing all this. I didn't even know today was the 20th until they started teasing me. Needless to say, I remain untainted.....

Last month I mentioned that I was waking up with a dry mouth/tongue and feeling all dehydrated. When I mentioned that to a couple of my friends, they said their Dads had the same thing and it was because of high blood pressure. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and they said my blood pressure was 140/100. Normal blood pressure is 120/80. I guess I'm gonna start running more and eating better. Wish me luck.

I dunno if I'm gonna do the food competitions at work anymore.....

I've been chillin' with Karmen alot lately. And today we were taking a walk together and she said I was cute. Yes. I doubt imma go for her but it feels good to know that someone thinks I'm cute. No wonder everytime I went to kiss her (in the presence of alcohol, of course. and on the cheek, not the lips) she never backed away (unlike Shanel). Hahahahahaha.

I went to the doctor yesterday. My work actually forced me to go. They gave me pain relievine medication. It doesn't work. They gave me papers showing stretches/exercises. Those work. I'll be out of commission for a while. 2 weeks before another appointment. We'll see what the diagnosis is then. Expect the worst, hope for the best, pray that everything turns out okay. =) 143.

I don't want to air out dirty laundry but I'm really pissed right now. I feel like I could shank someone, anyone. I don't care. Look at me the wrong way *shank*. Smile at me *shank shank*.

I feel betrayed. Please forgive me for anything I might think or say.....






I'm doing this for your sake, not mine. Understand this. Please. Don't put the blame on me. You asked, I responded. I have every right to be angry.

I wanted to start wearing my necklace again but the chain broke. It's a sign that maybe I shouldn't wear it yet. I'm beginning to open my eyes but apparently the sun is too bright and I still have to squint just to see my way around.....

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My bro leaves for Europe tomorrow. I wish I was going too. I wish I had friends who had jobs so they would have money to go on trips with me. Boo to being a loner and only-child status will begin tomorrow (my sis lives in LA) which makes me a loner even more.

Everybody needs a little attention every once in a while. I just happen to need alot. I like receiving messages/emails/comments from people.

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Oh yeah if you're reading this, 143! Hahahahahahaha. K.I.T. Big ups to my only 2 readers.

There was this riddle/puzzle that was presented to me. If I could solve it I would be on my way to the "next level" or a "higher plane". There were some clues given to me. Some of the clues were: A Coined Phrase and a few of the letters were laid out like in Wheel of Fortune. I stared at his riddle for the longest time and I still could not figure it out. And then someone said something to me about letting it go. It was something like "We could be out having the best time of our lives but here you are having the worst time." It reminded me of the book A Tale Of Two Cities. The opening phrase from that book was "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." and that was the answer to the riddle. I gave the answer to the riddle and I was supposed to be given access to "somewhere".

**end of dream**

Alot of my dreams are based on things that happen throughout my day. For example, if I'm at the bookstore and I see this hot girl I want to say hi to her and maybe ask her out to lunch. But in real life I'll go up to her and say hi and I'll get flustered and start talking about whatever book she is holding or what I'm holding. I'll totally forget to ask her out lunch. I'll probably have a dream later on in the night with the situation of me asking her out to lunch and her accepting. The dream will carry into the lunch session and showcase my charm and she will fall hopelessly in love with me.

Everything I don't/can't/won't do will happen in my dreams. I guess it's my super-ego being fulfilled. My desires can never be satisfied, but I can always dream....

I received a phone call from a number I didn't know so I didn't pick up. I was going through all the numbers that I knew in my head and no face or name came up when I was reciting that phone number. But I was curious as to whom it was. After a few minutes of trying to figure out who it could be, I decided to call it back.

It ended up being a familiar voice. It was a childhood friend of mine. We start talking and shootin' the shiite and whatever. I'm just happy to hear from him.

**end of dream segment. i wake up and try to go back to sleep to continue my dream**

Dreaming again, I'm in a different place. I'm at a random location with some people I know. I take some daily vitamins and supplements so I'm poppin' a couple in my mouth. Then some guy from my work shows up and sees me poppin' some pills and asks for some. I told him they were vitamins and he said he needed it. So I gave him one and he went away.

I'm talkin' to my posse and we're havin' a jolly good time. And then all of a sudden this guy shows up again askin' for more pills. I told him they were one-a-days and you need to take them with food. He said he just got 3 more from some other people and he wants more. I'm angry at this point and I wanna knock him out.

**end of dream segments**


My childhood friend and I went to the same Church, elementary school, middle school, and high school so we were really good friends. And he also lived on the street behind me. Our families were close too. His bro and my bro were really close friends. I saw his name when I was checking my email and I was thinking about hittin' him up to see what he's been up to. I decided against it since nothing new really happened to me so I didn't really want to have such a short conversation.


I just remembered about this one time at work when me, Christine and Shanel were having this conversation and Scott comes along saying he wants to join in on the fun. All of a sudden we just stop talking and look at him. And I remember saying something like "Excuse me, this is an A, B, and C conversation. So D ya real soon!" And then me and Christine started crackin' up like crazy. I don't think Shanel got the joke. She is a little slow, hence the nickname "shortbus". Just kidding Shanel, you know I ain't got nuttin' but love for ya! 143.

Remember back in the day when all the girls would end their letters with T.C.C.I.C or K.I.T. or J.A.P.A.N. or L.Y.L.A.S. or 143 or 637. That was awesome. They should start doing it again. I'll the start the trend again...

Kudos goes to the first person who can remember what all those acronyms stand for.

When I was with my old band, we were chillin' outside my house one day after practice and we were talking about dreams and crazy things that happen to us at night. Cesar, the lead guitarist, told us about something that would happen on random occassions.

One night Cesar woke up to go use the bathroom. As he was letting it out, his bro walks into to the bathroom startling him. So he's going pee and talking to his bro. So he looks over to his and bro and in the corner of his eye, past the bathroom door, he could see his bro still lying in his bed sleeping. So there's someone here talking to him in the bathroom and there's someone lying in his bro's bed. He was freaked out by this so he bolted back to his bed and went to sleep.

The next morning his bro says he had the weirdest dream. He dreamt that he got up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom and that Cesar was in there and he started talking to him.


On another night Cesar was playing guitar and his bro comes in and says "Whoa, I feel weird. It feels like I'm floating!" And Cesar looks at him and says "Dude, where's your legs?" Cesar described his brother as smoky and almost see-through, like in the cartoons when a genie comes out of a bottle. And again he saw someone in his bro's bed while he was talking to his bro.

Cesar told his Mom about these occurrences and she said it was just her brother's soul leaving his body while he was asleep. Apparently she had experiences like this too so she wasn't freaked out to hear about it.

So everytime Cesar was having a conversation with his bro in the middle of the night, he would go and check his bro's bed. And if his bro was still in bed he would tell his bro's soul to go back to his body cuz he was getting freaked out again. And the bro's soul would listen.

That is such a crazy story. I had goosebumps when he was telling us about it.

Yesterday I wore a white shirt. I wore a white shirt when I stopped by my friend's house on Sunday. Since I was only at his house for 30 mins or so, I decided to wear that white shirt again the next day to work. During my 30 minute stay, I did grab a bite to eat. At the end of my shift yesterday, I noticed that I had barbeque stains on my shirt. I went through a whole day of work wearing a shirt with barbeque stains in the belly area. I mean, it wasn't a plain white t-shirt. It had a design in the chest/mid-section area but the stain was definitely visible. Now my question is this: Is it wrong to wear the same shirt 2 days in a row, even if no one saw you wear it the day before?

I was basically sitting at my desk the whole day yesterday. The only time I went out was during lunch and I had BBQ chicken from TEMS in the food court in Mira Mesa. So I didn't really expect anyone to notice the stain. But if they did, do you think they just kept quiet and were too embarassed to call me out on it?

I'm the kind of person who will tell a stranger that they have a booger hangin' from their nose. I know not too many people will do that. Of course I'm gonna laugh when I see it at first, but once I'm over it imma go and tell them. But if I see a girl's thong just hangin' out, imma admire it the whole time and not say a damn word. I'd rather see thong than crack. I dunno why, but seeing a crack just makes me laugh while seeing a thong just hits me in the right spot. Even if it's just the outline of a thong on tight pants, me likey.

I remember seeing a skit either on SNL or MadTV about thong diapers. It was pretty nasty but it was damn funny. I'll try to find it on youtube or something.

Conversations with myself. I just spent over an hour talking to myself. It was an interesting conversation. It was about success and how we define it. I'm not gonna get into the conversation but I wanted to talk about the fact that I find myself having these solo conversations quite frequently. I'm having one right now as I type. I'm trying to think of why I do it. I dunno. Am I the only one who does this? It's not thoughts, it's an actual conversation. I can imagine a figure I'm talking to, but the figure is myself. It's like looking in the mirror and saying "Who is that sexy beast?" and then you change your posture and respond with "I see you watchin' me watchin' you!". And you continue to go back and forth. It's like you changed roles and became that other person in the mirror but you're still you. I dunno. Maybe I am the only one who does this? Hahahahaha.

I guess this can be similar to being a kid and having an imaginary friend....And I am the imaginary friend. The kid is real, the thoughts are the ones that are deceiving. I only exist in your head. Everything you're reading right now is you imagining it. You have a very vivid imagination. You're coming to the realization that everything around you is all in your thoughts. You have the power to change things. But you're afraid to mess up so you leave things as they are and complain. The kid is growing up and the imaginary friend is disappearing. The imaginary friend and the kid are now one. The time is now 11:03am and the kid just wasted another hour having a conversation with himself.

I just went to the bathroom right now and pee'd in the urinal. I flushed and then went to wash my hands. As I'm drying my hands I hear the sound of waterfalls. I turn around and I see that the urinal is now flooded and it won't stop renewing water and the water is coming close to my feet. Some other dude walks in and sees the mess and me just standing there watching it. He then proceeds to go near the urinal and starts jiggling the flush handle. This stops the water from flowing but the urinal is still full....of my piss, nonetheless. Hahahahaha. I just stood there and watched the entire thing happen. I could have tried to stop the water from flowing but I found enjoyment in seeing the flood happen. I was imagining a toilet full of doo doo butter and the logs falling to the ground, like a raft going over the edge of an actual waterfall, and maybe being floating or being swept near the door by the vast amount of water. It was a thing of beauty. It was funny though cuz all I said to the guy was "It won't stop!" After his heroics, he said the water stopped but it won't drain. He would go ahead and call the janitors. I didn't say another word and left. The entire bathroom floor is now covered in my piss. Hahahaha.

On a sad note, Upper Management is trying to prevent us from doing our weekly food challenges. Last week we had 2 people throw up, for the first time ever in competition history. More and more people are starting to participate in these challenges. when we first started it was only about 4-6 people who would compete. Now we have around 10-15. It's a great team bonding exercise. It pushes us to our limits and that's when you see the true nature of a person, when they reach that limit. This week we were supposed to chug a bottle of maple syrup...

Last weekend at Sportsfest in Pomona, the bathroom door in our hotel would not lock. I shower at night, instead of mornings, for some strange reason and the fellas kept opening the door to the bathroom whenever I was in the shower. Well after about the 10th time they opened the door, I just opened the shower curtain and showered out in the open for them to see. And they stopped messing with me after that. It's like V for Vendetta when Natalie Portman is all locked up and abused and then she loses her fear and is set free.

This past weekend, I saw Jerry's "brain" on numerous occassions. He set us all up pretty good. If you don't know what the "brain" is, google it when you get HOME. If you know what the "goat" is, then you might have an idea. Or you can just watch the movie "Waiting". It's the one with Ryan Reynolds and they work at some restaurant and they mess with people's food or whatever. It's a good one. And the hostess is HOTT! I think her real name is Vanessa Lengies.

The audio and video might be off but whatever. Blame it on youtube. This is a good song and I'm not playing it the way it's really played cuz it's just one guitar and I can never play anything the way someone else does it. I got my own style. I call it crappy. Now if I can only learn to sing falsetto....

You know those street performers that paint themselves silver and pretend to be statues? They were everywhere. All the places I went to, they were there. And I think it was the same two people everywhere I went. It was one guy and one girl. The girl was always on the guy's shoulder and then they'd do some twirling crap like spinning in circles and shiite. Gymnastics stuff....or figure skater doubles moves. It was weird cuz when I see them doing their moves, it was like The Matrix when the bullets are coming at Neo in slow motion. I had a 360 degree view. The guy was hoisting the girl in the air with one arm and her arms and legs made a human X and they were spinning somehow. It might have been me spinning completely around them while they stayed still but I saw them at every angle. It was weird....

**end of dream**

Poker last night at Joel's pad. I went but didn't play. There were so many people. They had 2 seperate poker tables and a pot of over $400 when I left. I just chilled and played guitar. I'm writing a bunch of songs again. I wanna find people to jam with. It's easy to find people who play but it's hard to find people who are actually good. I know ALOT of people who are good at playing songs they hear on the radio or whatever but when it comes to songwriting they don't know jack shiite. When I was learning guitar, I couldn't play the songs I heard on the radio so I wrote my own songs. I'm a horse of a different color. I'm a right handed lefty living in a backwards world.

Mike Einziger, the guitarist for Incubus, is currently sidelined from action. They had to cancel some tour dates. Word of the streets is that he injured his hand and needed surgery. Well, I did some research on message boards and forums and what not and it turns out that he developed carpal tunnel in his left hand. For rightys, the left hand is the fret hand on the guitar. Well, I can't play guitar for more than 15 minutes before my thumb starts going numb. If I keep playing beyond that, other fingers start to go numb. It's usually my thumb and pointer finger that get it the worst. I'm pretty sure I have carpal tunnel from playing the drums. I should get it checked up now that I have medical insurance. If I do have carpal tunnel and need surgery, it's gonna be weird for 2 months. My left hand is the one that is feeling the pain and I use my left hand more than I use my right. Whatever though, I guess I can learn to use my right hand. If it heals, then it'll all be worth it.

So I finally got approval to come in to work at 9am when my bro goes to Europe in a couple weeks. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't get approved. Call me an arsole or whatever but it would be nice if I had my own life. *see last post if you have no idea what I'm babbling about*

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My back still hurts. I might have a pinched nerve or something. Or I could just be too damn fat for my own good. I'm working on it though. I haven't eaten rice, any chocolate, or soda for around 37 days or so. Imma try to go longer and see what happens.

I met a girl this past weekend and she was pretty damn cool. I'd like to spend some more time with her and get to know her more. Thing is, she's newly single so I really don't wanna be THAT GUY again. Whatever though, she's hot so if I'm THAT GUY I don't care. Hahahahahaha. There was alcohol involved when I met so I'm not sure how cool she really is. I'd like to have a non-alcoholic conversation/interaction with her.

I couldn't really sleep last night cuz my back has been killin' me. I wore a back brace when I got home from work and it helped. I took it off when I was gonna sleep and maybe I shoulda left it on. I shoulda wore it to work today too.


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I have no friends who have real jobs. Everyone is still in school or they dropped out. The ones who have jobs I don't ever see or talk. That is partially my fault. I ain't baggin' on anyone but when they invite me to go out during the week, it's just not possible for me to go out at 9pm and come home at 4am and then be ready for work at 6am.

My brother is going to Europe for a couple weeks. He's usually the one who takes my Mom to work in the mornings and I pick her up in the evenings. Me and my Dad work the early shift so that's why my bro takes her in the mornings. Well, since my bro will be gone my Mom asked me to take her to work in the mornings. My Dad works an earlier shift than me so he can't do it. My Mom starts work at 9am. I have flex time so I can start anytime between 530-730am. To get to work by 730am I have to leave my house by 630am. For my Mom to get to work by 9am, we can leave the house at 840am. I'm not sure how this is gonna work. My Mom doesn't want to leave the house 630am cuz she'll have +2 hrs of nothing to do before she starts work. I asked my supervisors if I can come in later but they still haven't responded. Is it selfish of me to not want to take my Mom to work? Me having to change my schedule for her and all. I mean, my Mom can drive on her own. She just hasn't done so in about 6 years. She stopped driving when I started. I wouldn't mind taking her if it fit into my schedule. Driving isn't that hard. I'm pissed.....

I was just cruisin' all over the place lookin' to take pictures. I ended up taking pictures of alot of people. People I knew, strangers, innocent bystanders, and anyone within viewing range. I know I was trying to convince people to let me take some pix of them. Someone even offered to take pix of me with my camera and I happily obliged. That is all.

**end of dream**

I know this dream seems all short but it wasn't. Cruisin' around town takes time and taking pix takes time and convincing people to be in pix is even harder.

Dream world > Reality


I think I'm getting sick again. This morning I was yackin' it up and it came out with such force that I threw out my back. I was all hunched over the sink and then my back stiffened up. I tried stretching it out but it's too much pain right now. Maybe later on in the day I'll try again. My back hurts so much that my neck is starting to hurt. I'm trying compensate for my lack of mobility and my neck is taking the brunt of it. Like when I was driving to work, it was hard to look over my shoulder when I was changing lanes. My back didn't want to move so I'd turn my neck a little more than I normally would and that was not a good idea. Oh well. No pain, no gain.

I was either in school or at work or at some place I go to that had set break times and a lunch. Well, at the end of lunch I got a call from a lady friend. She was asking for a "special favor". She had this sexy voice and everything that came out of her mouth was said in a sexy tone too. I told her that if she had called me 30 minutes earlier I would have been to her place with the quickness. 30 minutes is plenty of time for me to get the job done. I told her that I'd go there as soon as I could. Since it was the end of lunch and I had to go doing back to whatever I needed to do, she was on my mind the whole time and I couldn't concentrate. I felt like leaving and doing this "special favor" she was asking for.

It seems like hours pass and it's time for me to leave. I go home and fix myself up and shower and what not. I pack up some "toys" that we could use and I'm about to leave my house.....

**Eyes open and I look at the clock. It's not time to wake up yet and I realize that my dream didn't finish. So I think of all the details that happened in the dream and re-enact it in my mind. I want to fall back asleep so I could continue my dream, hopefully...**

(I fall back asleep and the dream continues)
I'm already on my way to her place. I'm thinking about all the good stuff that we will be doing.

I make it to her place and I immediately mention that I'm here to take care of her "special favor". And she's all excited about me getting there sooner than she thought. She says "Follow me, let's take this in the kitchen". I'm thinking this girl is a freak, but I like it.

So we make it to the kitchen and I start untucking my shirt and prepping to take it completely off and then she says "I think this fridge would look better on this side of the kitchen. What do you think?"

It dawns on me that this "special favor" is nothing more than me moving her fridge for her. So I end up moving the fridge for her and nothing else happens.

*end of dream*

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This dream was weak. I woke up all disappointed, as usual. The story of my life even occurs in my dreams.

The weekend in Pomona was fun as hell. We got 4th in the flag football tourny, which was a big disappointment for us. "If you aint first, you're last!" But the time we spent up there was great. The bonding sessions, the harrassments, the pictures, and the stories to share was all worth the trip. I'll post pix when I get home from work. In a span of two days, I took 1370 photos. Hahahahahaha. It took up 5.39GB of space. It's a good thing I have an 8GB memory card. I love having a DSLR! =)