I went to the pier yesterday to take pix of the sunset and I ran into Tatiana. I haven't seen her since around Halloween. I think she is absolutley gorgeous. If there is one girl that could make me forget about every other girl out there, it's her. I asked her to be my model so I can practice my photography and she said she's down. I took some pix of her before at the Halloween party I saw her at and she adores the camera. She'll be a good model. =)
This weekend, I'll be partying up in Pomona. It's Sportsfest and I'm gonna be taking pix of my friends playing football. I went last year and it was pretty damn fun. I drove there last year and my truck got rear-ended. So this year I will not be driving. Ha. I'm hoping it's not all raining so my camera doesn't get messed up. I had a crap camera last year so I didn't care if it got all jacked up. So far, the weather looks good and I hope it stays this way. I'll bring an umbrella just in case. And I'll also use the umbrella as shade from the sun. Ha.
I woke up later than usual and could not remember anything I dreamt of. The trick for remembering my dreams is to think of it right when I wake up. I play back the scenario(s) in my head. This morning I woke up thinking "Man, I might be late". Thus I rushed to get ready and forgot all about my dream. As the day goes on, I forget my dream altogether. I really should write it down right when I wake up so I can recount everything acurrately but let's just say that I'm just too damn lazy to do that.
Anyways, we started the 4/10 work week so the food competition will be on Thursday (today) instead of Friday. We will be attempting to see who can finish a jumbo Slim Jim the fastest. These team building/bonding activities really work. It makes me see the human side of my coworkers instead of seeing them as just robots doing their duties. I've only won 1 competition so far. Today, I'm looking for my 2nd....
It was the eve of my brother's birthday. I was at home wondering where he was. He was home a short while ago and then left with some friends. A long while had passed and he was still not home. I was in my room and I'd begin to hear noises. I'd go outside and find nothing. I could hear voices, people talking, having a good time. Yet it was never there when I was around.
*end of dream*
********************************************************** I find it hard to sleep. I constantly wake up throughout the night. Sometimes I open my eyes to see the time. Sometimes I just keep them closed hoping to fall back asleep. And I wake up every morning feeling dehydrated. I don't feel refreshed. It's like the lights are on but no one is home.....
I was in a music studio and there was this band recording. The drummer was doing his tracks but he was having alot of trouble. I merely watched as he did take after take to no avail. I could see the frustration in his eyes and also in the eyes of his bandmates. He was so angry at himself that he left the studio to go cool off somewhere. I hadn't touched a drumset in years and I saw his drumset just laying there in the booth all alone. I had the urge to go sit on the set and start playing. I started to walk closer to the drumset and gave it a good look. I slowly circled it looking at every inch.
I eventually sat down on it but didn't play. I was just thinking about the times when I did play and imagining that I was still playing. I picked up the sticks and clicked them together. I started giving a little tap to each drum, hearing the warm sounds that resonated with each hit. One by one, I hit all the drums. I was just sitting there on the set, not in a playing position.
I started to play a simple beat and it felt good. I kept playing and started incorporating some of the things I used to do. The groove started to get a life of it's own. I felt the passion coming back.
I was playing all hard on the drums. I was putting my soul into my playing because it felt so good to be on a drumset. After I was done playing, I noticed that the band that was recording was still in the studio except for the drummer. They heard me playing and they were impressed. The whole time I was playing, it was being recorded. They said it was a keeper. They started walking into the drum booth to talk to me. I was hoping they were gonna ask me to be the new drummer of their band. And as they were walking in, I WOKE UP.
*end of dream*
************************************************** This was a cool dream cuz I was actually in a music studio on Sunday watching my old band record songs for a new album. Their new drummer really was having trouble recording the tracks. He didn't leave the studio like in my dream. He just waited for the bass player to come along and play the song with him as he was recording.
She sent me another little message. It got to me again. Damn her to heck. And damn me for being such a fool. So I spent an hour learning this one song on the guitar last night. I'll record a video of me playing it and kudos goes to the first person who can name it. It's a good song. I think you all will like it....
I remember being in a car driving somewhere. I wasn't the one driving. I wasn't in control. There were 3 of us. One guy, one girl, and me. I saw one of those freeway signs that show the number of miles to an exit. We ended up getting to our destination but I was now alone. I have no idea where I was or what I was doing there.
That's all I can remember. There wasn't much content in this dream but I woke up feeling tired and I almost fell when I tried to stand up. My equilibrium felt off and right now my back hurts.
From now until I feel like changing it, this is what I will write about. My dreams, or what I can remember of them. Some are more vivid than others, some are very lacking in content. Some are strange and I don't know what they mean. Actually, I don't know what alot of them mean. Maybe you can help me decipher them.....
There is no greater feeling than sitting on a warm toilet seat. It gives you that feeling that someone cares about you enough to warm it up for you. Ha. Yeah Right. For the 2nd time, I had someone look under the stall door while I was in it. It's a weird feeling seeing someone's face when you're going number poo. I almost feel scared but at the same time I wanna laugh cuz he's an idiot. I mean, when the door is closed that usually means someone is in there. How hard is that to comprehend? Do you really think someone would close the door and then hop over to get out? Who does that? Come on now. Common sense. Put it to use. I know it's hard but if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.
I've been having these weird dreams. It's like real life encounters but in a "what if" situation. A few years back, someone got into my truck and the bastards stole my seat covers. So a few days ago I had a dream that someone stole my seat covers again. I was pretty pissed cuz these new seat cover I bought cost $300. When I woke up, I had the urge to go to my truck and check to see if the covers were still there. It felt so real, maybe because it happened before. The feeling of someone stealing something from you is so disheartening. It sucks all the life out of you. It makes you feel so vulnerable. I hate that feeling.
I also had this other dream where I was gettin' it on. Hahahaha. That too felt so real. And when I woke up, I had a surprise. Guess what it was? Hahahahaha.
My "what if" dreams are things that happen to me throughout my day but I acted the proper way in real life. My dreams give me a glimpse of an alternate world where everything goes my way. Like if I run into an old classmate that I never really liked, I would be polite and have a nice little conversation of what we've been up to. In my dreams, I would run into this classmate and she/he would start talking and I'd interupt and go off about how much of an idiot they are and then I'd leave. In my dreams I feel satisfied. My dreams rule.
I just remembered that last Friday I saw one of the funniest things I've ever seen. At work, I went to the bathroom and the urinal is after the stall. So as I pass the stall, something catches my eye so I take a few steps back to see what caught my eye. And here I am looking at the stall laughing hysterically. What I saw before me was nothing I have ever really seen before. I've seen people using the bathroom and not flushing. I've seen people leaving smears of doo doo butter on the seat. But never before have I seen a log on the ground. I wasn't even mad, I was impressed. Normally, any person would disgusted and grossed out by this. Anger might even ensue. But not with me. I even took a pic of this with my camera phone. too bad I haven't uploaded it yet. I couldn't stop laughing. Even when I think of it right now, I'm still cracking up. Oh man, the things that bring delight to my life.....
The only reason I still come to work: Friday Food Challenges. Today we had the marshmallow challenge. Who can eat the most marshmallows in a minute? We each had 15 to start things off.
I got Shanel to start a blog. The evil powers of persuasion. Muahahahaha! More for me to read. I wish more of my friends would update on a regular basis....but they all blog on myspace and I'm not really using myspace that much anymore. Imma just use it for my photography and my music. No more personal use. I have facebook too but I never go on. I still have my xanga that I never update. That one was for my poetry. I have a fotopage that I should delete. I signed up yesterday for this new photo site called FilmLoop. It's pretty sweet. I'll be using that to post pix on my website that I still haven't fixed up. Ha. I'm just lazy.
After work here is my routine. Come home, grab a quick snack, pick up my Mom from work, go to the gym, go home, shower, go online while I wait for my hair to dry, watch some girl on girl action, clean up, brush teeth, and sleep. The only time I'm home is to sleep. I'm glad I don't pay rent or anything or else I would never want to leave the house. It would be like paying for something that I'm not using. If I have a house and I'm making payments I would always have my friends over and I'd have the house decked out with everything we could possibly want to do so that way I feel like I'm spending my money well.
The only time I don't feel guilty spending money is when I buy food. You can't go wrong when you get good food.
I'm over it but I'm still not wearing my necklace.
Oh, and I now have a copy of V5. Time to install and pass it along to good friends. =)
There once was a little girl who had a bad temper. Her mother gave her a bag of nails and told her that every time she lost her temper, she must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the girl had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as she learned to control her anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. She discovered it was easier to hold her temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the girl didn't lose her temper at all. She told her mother about it and the mother suggested that the girl now remove one nail for each day that she was able to hold her temper. The days passed and the young girl was finally able to tell her mother that all the nails were gone. The mother took her daughter by the hand and led her to the fence. She said, "You have done well, my daughter, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one." You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear,they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us...
And...Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence.
Have you ever seen the movie Pi? It's one of my all time favorites. It's a movie about how the entire universe is shaped by numbers and patterns and some madman creates a supercomputer that might be capable of understanding all this. People from the stock market are hunting him down because the pattern created by these numbers can predict the rise and fall of the stock market. And a Jew hunts him down because this pattern is hidden in the Kabbalah and is a code sent by God. This pattern is apparently the Golden Rectangle or Golden Spiral or Golden Ratio. It's a good movie that makes you think.
*************************
Yesterday my ex-girlfriend hit me up and mentioned that her Mom recently found something I gave her a long time ago. A weird feeling ran through me even though it was just a little message she sent me. Why? I don't know. Maybe I'm not over it. Maybe there's a part of me hoping she'll one day come back to me and apologize. She is a big reason I am the way I am with girls. I don't trust them! But everytime I see her I forget everything she did and I have this huge smile on my face. I haven't seen her since sophomore year of college but I have talked to her every so often. She always turned to me everytime something went wrong. It's not like I had the best advice to give to her but we had a comfort zone and I could always bring her back to there. I don't know what's going on inside me right now...
For 9 years I wore something that meant alot of to me. I never took it off. I only started to take it off when I showered because it started to fade. It symbolized my passion, my love, my dedication to "something". And I said to myself that I would always wear this until I found something that meant more. I stopped wearing this a few months ago. Not because I found a greater passion but because I thought no greater passion existed. But yesterday, I felt like wearing it again. I wish someone had taken it while I was showering and tossed it down the drain. That greater passion is a mirage.
So a few moments ago, I'm having this nice conversation with the semi-new girl at work. She's OK. Ha. Well, we're talking and shootin' the shiite when this guy comes up behind her and starts flailing his arms to get my attention but I don't even acknowledge it. So he pulls up next to the girl and interrupts us in mid-converstion. He didn't even wait 'til I finished my sentenced. And I kindly say to him "Excuse me, but I'm trying to have a conversation with the lady." And he starts chuckling. So I say to him that he just C-Blocked me. And me and the lady are laughing and comes back with "Whatever happened to bros before.....ladies?" I told him I didn't believe in that myth and he walked away. And I tried to continue the conversation with the lady but I couldn't remember what we were talking about and she couldn't either so she took off. DAMN C-BLOCKERS!!!!!!!
So I saw 300 last night and it was so wicked. I wasn't expecting a Monday night to be so packed. But every dude in that movie was on 'roids or something. Them dudes were ripped as hell. They reminded me of myself. Ha, yeah right. But the movie was super gory and bloody. I squinted everytime I saw a leg or an arm or whatever get cut off. I thought there were some really funny parts but I won't mention it cuz I know all of you haven't seen it yet.
I think I ate something bad over the weekend cuz the past couple days I've had this throw up feeling in my stomach. I feel like yacking all the time....but I never do. It's almost like that feeling where you need to sneeze but you don't ever actually sneeze.
Yesterday Bill made me do some knuckle push ups. He did about 30 or so and then told me to do some. I tried and only pulled off 10. And then my knuckles started hurting like crazy. I weigh about 250lbs. and that is no easy task to do 10 knuckle push ups. I can probably do 40 regular push ups. But today my chest and triceps are sore. From only 10 knuckle push ups. That means I am way out of shape. There was a point in my life where I could do 100 push ups straight. But then again I didn't weigh as much as I do now. I'll work my way back up.
I've been meaning to cut my nails but everytime I'm at home I'm doing something else and I forget. I'm at work and I could feel my nails when I type. It doesn't get in the way cuz I've seen girls with some long nails type all super fast. But it does get in the way when I play guitar. Pushing down on the strings I can feel my nail hitting the fret board and it prevents me from pushing the string all the way down. Hopefully today I remember to cut them at home or at least bring my nailcutter to work. I'll just write it on my hand so everytime I look at my watch, I'll see to bring the nailcutter.
I bought some apples and carrots to bring to work but I left them at home for the 2nd straight day. My Mom is probably wondering why they're all out. Ha. I'm trying to eat healthier. Being around Shanel, she's probably the healthiest person I know and it makes me want to be healthier also. She has a positivie influence on me even though I say I hate her all the time. The people around me have alot of impact on my life and I'm glad to be surrounded by great people.
What a weekend! Oh man. Friday night I went out to the Beauty Bar with some coworkers. I had never been there before so it was a trip. I take that back. I have been there before but it was called the Playhouse when I did go there. It was with my band and we played a few shows there. But yeah, the setup in the Beauty Bar is like a beauty parlor. Hahahahahaha. I wonder how they got that name then. They got them seats with the hair dryer on top and beauty magazines on the tables. I think I got there too early and left too early. My coworkers said after I left, the goods started pouring in. And by the goods, I mean hot girls. =) Whatever, I had a long day and I was getting damn sleepy. I was in no capacity to hook up with anyone that night.
Saturday was my cousin Charlie's b-day celebration at some fancy pants restaurant in Coronado. Charlie called me earlier in the day and asked what I was gonna wear and I gave him a vague description. When we see each other at the restaurant, we're wearing almost the exact same outfit (just different shoes). Hahahahahaha. I know alot of people get mad when they show up at some place and another person is wearing their same outfit. Not us. We decided to take as many pictures as we could cuz we thought it was so funny. We were talking about our clothes and I told him I got mine at Sears and he said he did too! Hahahahaha. But after the fancy restaurant we went over to Charlie's Mom's house and had a re-enactment of Beerfest. We just tried to chug as many beers as we could. It was funny cuz on the first chug I got the hiccups during mid-chug but I kept on chugging anyways and they could hear it. I must say, it's real hard to have something going down your throat when air is coming up. Yeah, we got pretty drunk in a real short amount of time. And then we ended up watching the movie Selena. I love that movie. I was singing along to all the songs. My favorite is "Como la Flor". This is the movie that taught me Spanish. Hahahahaha.
Sunday was cleaning and recovery day. I think I need another day.....
I know there's more stuff that I'm forgetting. We'll see if my mind starts working in a couple hours.
This morning me, Scott, and Shanel were in the break room making some oatmeal for breakfast. I've been doing the oatmeal thing for quite some time now and Shanel claims to be the one to start it. I beg to differ. Hahahahaha. But anyways, Shanel took her spoon home and didn't have one except for the pho spoon I gave her. And the sink was broken too so she copuldn't wash her bowl. So I told her the bathroom is the place to go to wash it and she goes and comes back. I ask "Did you wash it?" cuz her bowl still looked a little dirty. She says "I did....but I'm not perfect." I just nod my head in silence and then Scott says "Well, we strive for excellence!!!" and I just started cracking up. I mean, we're talking about oatmeal here.
And for today's food competition, we will be eating a cup of peanut butter. Whoever can finish it the fastest will win. It sounds easy but we're not allowed to have any kind of beverage to help wash it down. This is just straight up peanut butter by itself. The cup sizes are like double shots. It's maybe 4 or 5 hefty tablespoons. I think I have a chance to win this. I normally eat peanut butter by itself but I don't eat it fast. So far Scott has won all the solid food competitions. I dominate on the liquid food competitions. This is somewhere in between solid and liquid so it might go down to the wire.....
A few months ago I was cleaning out stuff in the garage when I came across a guitar that nobody ever uses anymore. It was my Uncle Alex's guitar and then it was in the possession of my cousin Ramil and now I have it. I guess you can say it's been passed down the family. But it's just been sitting there and my younger cousins are way too young or they already have a guitar. I would like to pass this guitar to the next-in-line when the time is right. But since we were cleaning and this guitar had no place, I decided to bring it to work and leave it at my cubicle.
When I brought it to work, all the girls started coming to my cubicle during break times cuz they would hear music and want to be a part of it. I played it up, asking for song requests cuz I have a vast knowledge of songs stuck in my head. I know a bunch of songs but I don't know that much lyrics. That's the girl's job, to sing while I play. Hahahahahaha. Plus I have a horrible voice.
But thinking back, the only reason I learned to play guitar was to drop some p@nties. I always saw how girls' knees would buckle when some guy was playing their favorite song. I was jealous at how easliy they could do this and I wanted in on the action. This was back in high school when all of us were "inexperienced". Nowadays, I play guitar because it is soothing and puts me at ease. It's amazing what time can do....
Oh yeah, I started writing about my guitar because I took it home to change the strings but soon realized that I had no strings. So this weekend I might have to stop by Guitar Center and pick up a new set. So no guitar at work = no girls at my cubicle.
I almost died yesterday. I came home from work around 5ish and I knew I had to pick up my Mom from work at 530. I leave the house around 530 so I can get there by 6, which is the time she gets out. Well, anyways I'm dead tired from going to the gym and sleeping late from the night before and waking up early for work so I decide to take a 10-15 min nap. So here I am sleeping away when all of a sudden I wake up before my alarm goes off. The reason I wake up is because I can't breathe. Apparently I was choking on my own saliva. It went down the wrong pipe and me laying down caused it to stay there and not go down completely. It was that feeling when you're in the underwater and accidently take a breath. So I sat up with the quickness and then all the blood stayed in my head and I got semi-dizzy. But yeah, it was a little scary.
I never really drooled in my sleep before but something happened a few months ago. I started to notice these wet spots on my pillow whenever I woke up. I have no idea what triggered me to start drooling but I want it to stop. I was also informed by my friends that I snore pretty loud. Hahahahaha. Some girl told me this quite some time ago but I thought she was on crack so I didn't believe her.....
Today I had my 2006 Performance Appraisal and things turned out real good. I got a really good raise, one of the highest. I asked what was the average and I'm well above it. But yeah, at the end of the review the big boss asked me this question: "Are you happy with your job?" Throughout the interview I was all smiles and it was a good vibe. But as soon as he asked the question, my face turned serious and I answered with what was in my heart. I'm not gonna get into details about that but it's a double edged sword of a question. The hand that feeds also eats.
I have a 30gb video ipod, yet I have no video uploaded onto it. I think I'll add some this weekend. And I also need to update my music library. Some of my mp3's got corrupt and they skip and all that crap so I need to rip them from the cd's again.
I feel my creative juices starting to replenish themselves so imma start writing (music)again. I think my photography has triggered this into effect since I've been doing alot of photography. I love my Digital rebel XTi. I also just bought a new lens. A 50mm f/2.8 Canon lens. I saw some sample pix taken with this lens and I liked the results.
Current song learning on the piano: Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. I love that song.
Blogging from home is a different experience. Ha. Imma be a rebel and blog from wherever I am. So what's new? Let's see......I joined a gym and I went for the first time today. It was kinda packed and the only thing I saw free was an exercise bike so I just stayed on that for 30 mins and then was looking to lift some weights but it was packed still so I just left. I haven't eaten any rice, chocolate or drank any soda since Lent began. I've been good on the no-meat Fridays except when I went to Seattle but I was in a different area code so that doesn't count. Hahahahaha. Ummmmm, I started playing music again and I have ideas that are fresh. My hair is getting kinda long and I'm looking for someone who knows how to do cornrows. I keep getting C-blocked by stupid guys. They don't even realize what they're doing until I call them out on it. If you see me with a lady and we're chattin' it up, laughin' and having a jolly time don't come and try to join the conversation. Real example that happened today: I'm talking to a female and we're enjoying ourselves and this guy comes along and tries to be funny and says some stupid shit and so the female ends up leaving because of his comments. Major C-block. I was puttin' some good work and effort into that. But it's all good cuz I talked to her later on anyways. Imma get the job done no matter what. Just try to not make my job harder than it already is.
All my hats are starting to NOT fit. I bought a bunch of them when I was bald and now that I have a bunch of hair, all my hats are hella tight. It's almost to the point where I get headaches wearing them. I don't think I've ever seen a hat in size 8. The biggest hat I have is size 7 7/8. Ok I'm done.
Me and the Fonz cruised to Incahoots last night to meet up with this girl from work. We did some country line dancing and it was fun. I looked like an idiot trying to learn but whatever, I had fun doing it. Christine, the girl from work, is a good teacher. She puled me to the side and showed me the dance steps.
Me and the Fonz want to go back and learn all the dance steps for the line dancing so we can go out and pick up any girl in that place. They have lessons from 5-8pm on Tues-Sat. And they also have DODGEBALL on Sundays!!!! How exciting is that? Chrisitne is down for dodgeball too. I've been chattin' it up with her quite a bit lately and she seems like a dork like me.
The other coworker Scotty and his roommates met up with us at Incahoots later on in the night too. All those guys are hella funny. Scotty, Barnes, Matt and B Loadzz are always on a mission. It just too damn funny watching them find a group of girls and attacking. And it has to be a group. They will not do solo missions. I mean they will fly solo into a group of girls but the one of them will not go solo and find a solo girl. Me and Scotty rolled double and found a trio of girls but then Barnes and B Loadzz came by so I flew back to mission controls center and the three of them got rejected hardcore. Barnes was tellin' me he ended havig this argument with one of them and ended up calling her a bitch. Good times....
Oh yeah, no more blogging from work. Management called us out on using the internet for personal use at work and demanded that we stop so I will try to update every night at home from now on. They said they monitor everything we look at so I will make no more mentions anything related to work.
After work I went over to Shanel's place to kick it. We chilled there and watched some Family Guy and she showed me her art collection. I have so much more respect for now that I've seen her passion. I am a big fan of the arts whether it be poetry, music, paintings, etc. I envy the people who do it for a living. Then we headed over to Karl Strauss for free beer. Strauss was packed like an ass. The regulars were telling me that this is the most packed they've seen it. I guess they were tapping their most popular beer so that's why there was so many people. But it was a good time nonetheless. I wish we would have gotten 1 big table instead of 3 small booths. At least the booths were all right next to each other.
But yeah, I was putting in some work on this "project" last night and some startling revelations came about. Things that I wanted nothing to do with. So at that very moment that the prophecies came out, I decided to abandon the "project". I didn't leave her or anything. In my mind I was just thinking to get through the night and things will be cool. I made it out alive. Time for the next project.....
Free beer tonight over at Karl Strauss in Sorrento Mesa. We'll be there before 6 if you wanna join us. We'll be the loudest, most obnoxious group in the place. You can't miss us.
But yeah, today all the female coworkers are rockin' pigtails (including myself since I am the only male with long enough hair to do so). The excuse was "National Pig Day". I don't know if it really is but that's what one of the girls told me. The real truth behind this is because one day one of the girls put her hair in pigtails and one of the supersivors mentioned that he had a thing for pigtails. So all the girls decided to tease him by all wearing pigtails and I found out about this so I decided to rock some pigtails too. My goatee is about 3 inches and I split that into pigtails and my hair is about 4 inches so the top half I did in pigtails. Hahahahahaha. My supervisor came up to me and said "You know, I have a thing for pigtails." And I responded with "you know, I was only born with one leg. This right here, it ain't a leg." Yeah I know we're gross but it's funny and it keeps the work environment fun. The new hot girl really likes my hair today. I invited her to Strauss. We'll see if she goes. If she gets faded, it's ON!!!!! Hahahahaha.
I thought of more stuff to write and once again I am at a loss for thoughts/words.
