I can't seem to find my place around here. I'm trying to conform to the standards but it just doesn't feel right. I'm trying to do my own thing but it's rough when everyone criticizes me. It's so easy to say "be yourself" but it's so hard when you can't even see yourself. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize my own reflection. The way I feel doesn't reflect the way I am. I feel happy but I can't see the happiness. I feel sad but all I see is someone else's point of view. Everyone I love always wants me to be something. I can never be myself or else I'll be alone....I'm afriad to be alone. My own thoughts scare me and when I'm alone, that is all I have: my thoughts. My thoughts scare me because I'm angry. Angry at everyone who ever tried to tell me to do otherwise. I'm angry at myself because I never listened to what I felt was right. I can't do this much longer. I need to be alone. I need to face my fears. I need to experience the world through my own eyes. I don't want to be angry anymore. I want to live for once......
12:33 AM |
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